We are a very religious family. My dad is a minister and we know that being gay is not acceptable to God. Our parents love us 4 children so much and we have always been very close to each other. But last year, my sister (23) told my parents that she is lesbian. I came and visited my parents for the holiday (I am the oldest child) and I saw what this situation did to our family. My dad does not say anything, but I can see his heart is broken. My mom talks to me every night and I have never seen her like this before. Her eyes are swollen, because of all the crying. They love their child, but they LOVE GOD and being gay is wrong! What can I do? What should we do? It feels like our family is falling apart. Please help!
2007-03-23 08:43:50 · 24 answers · asked by NiceGirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If your dad is a minister...where is the faith?
"bring up a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it"
"ALL things are possible with God"
Prayer...prayer...and more prayer!!! All of you set a time to get down on your knees and pray for her...whether you are together or not, at this time "every day" make time to get down on your knees and pray for her.
"the prayer of a fervent man availeth much"
"ask anything, in My name, believing, and it shall come to pass"
There are so many scriptures....you get the idea.
Come together as a family and pray & believe...when God is ready to deal with her, He will. BELIEVE
Be cool...
2007-03-23 08:54:35 · answer #1 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Your family is in such a difficult situation!
It will be hard for your sister to stay a close member, seeing how much pain she causes her parents for being what she is. Finding your mother so up-set, might make her withdraw. (I think, your sister was very brave to tell your parents. You can be proud of her. In any case, she showed that she loved them enough to be honest with them.) Show your sister that you still love her and you acccept her with her sexual orientation, let your parents know that and encourage your siblings to do the same. This is important, so that your sister still feels she is at home in your family, and not just a cause of pain and discomfort.
For your parents it must be very hard to accept that their daughter lives a lifestyle they consider wrong. Your parents need a lot of time and listening. It is great, that so far you were willing to listen to your mother's sorrows. However, not all Christians believe that being homosexuality is wrong. Some homosexual Christians have given testimonies about their faith and their sexual orientation. If you could find some of these books and give them to your mother, she might grow comfortable with the idea, that a person can be homosexual and still be saved - and eventually accept your sisters sexual orientation. (Scan the books before you pass them on to your mother to make sure, they don't contain other ideas your mother might connsider outragious, which would spoil the effect.)
2007-03-23 09:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by LGM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if your family love and believe in God then surely you understand that he created your sister this way? Maybe it is a test for you all as a family?
I am not religious at all and can not understand how people can shun a family member over something like this. What courage it must have taken for your sister to tell your family knowing how they would react to her. You don't say how you feel about it, only how your family is dealing with it. You have to decide if you can live with your sister and her lifestyle or live without her as ultimately that is what she will be forced to do, cut you all out of her life. Happiness is surely the only thing that matters in life? If your God thinks it is so wrong then surely she will be struck down? This is the year 2007 and I congratulate your sister for standing up to the person she is.
2007-03-23 08:53:58 · answer #3 · answered by koolkatt 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the reason your parents are having such a hard time with this issue, is not so much God but the community in which they reside......they know that all the parishioners are going to be talking about them, they know that they're all going to be pointing the finger at them as parents saying that somehow they've done something wrong in the way they've brought up their children.......that in my opinion is what's doing the harm, not God...it's not really God that they fear like this. it's the unforgiving judgemental attitudes of those they share the church with.....it's that awful feeling of deep shame.....don't fit into the community completely where we "should" & by gum, we'll feel so like an outsider.
2007-03-23 14:46:15 · answer #4 · answered by Funky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If a family chooses to 'fall apart' because of one choice made by one person, then it is a very fragile family ...or so it seems to me.
If God was against Lesbians, then why would He make them?
What should you do?
I've no idea. Be supportive of your sister who really cannot help 'loving whoever she is loving'!
You don't have to 'agree with her choice,' but it doesn't mean you should abandon her either.
I wish I could say something more useful.
Sash.
2007-03-23 14:56:12 · answer #5 · answered by sashtou 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should already know this answer. The only thing you and your family can do is pray for her. Only God can comfort the family and change your sister. Yelling at her or even just talking to her will not do anything. Trust in the Lord, claim the victory over Satan, claim your sisters salvation, and have faith that no matter how long it takes, the Lord will win the war. Your sister has been raised in a Christian home which means she knows the Word of God. The Word of the Lord will never return to Him void. Fast for her and let her know you still love her and are praying for her and that she can return to the Lord at any time. This will turn out to be a major testimony for your entire family. God bless! Don't loose faith!!!!
2007-03-23 08:57:09 · answer #6 · answered by wendy 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You cant do that much. your parents will learn to live with it if they love your sister as much as they say. unfortunately this is the 21st century and even religious people can be gay, so if they cant accept it it essentially going to be their loss. dont punish her for what she is, and dont think you can change her either. god has more important things to do than worrying about converting one gay person because your parents dont like it xxx
2007-03-23 09:08:49 · answer #7 · answered by hana woo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A dear friend of mine is a lesbian, and it took many years before she was able to tell her folks. Funnily enough, her father is also a minister.
At first her parents were shocked and horrified, but given time, they have come to terms with their daughter's preferences and love her as much now as they always did.
It was Jesus who taught us not to judge, and He who taught us not to cast stones. He loves us UNCONDITIONALLY. Your parents while loving God, are still given the right to love their daughter and you to love your sister no matter what
Look after yourself and be safe
My God be truly with you always.
Sandy
http://www.moms-home-safety.com
2007-03-23 09:05:44 · answer #8 · answered by Sandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being gay is not wrong for starters, your parents should come to terms with it. They don't have to agree or even like your sisters choice of sexual preference, but they should love her unconditionally for the way she is.....after all god did create us in his image, not matter what any bible says.
2007-03-23 09:16:55 · answer #9 · answered by h20bub 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being gay is not wrong. I'm sorry that you believe this so strongly, but since you cannot change her you should work on accepting it. Doesn't God teach acceptance, forgiveness and love as well as obedience? Think about it.
2007-03-23 08:55:04 · answer #10 · answered by Mom23 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you and your family truly love your sister, you'll learn to accept her the way she is - the way she was BORN (yes, it is born into you; it's not a choice). You're in serious danger of losing her forever with the attitude you've been showing her.
2007-03-23 10:32:17 · answer #11 · answered by chemical_sister_2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋