we're trying to be friends but its been hard cuz i keep having flashbacks of the things he did that caused us to breakup in the first place. he still does them. so i dont know what to do. he makes me mad time to time cuz its a constant reminder of his ugly bad habits. but i hate to let the past destroy the future. we are not toghther anymore but i still let what he does affect me. so what do you think i should do in a case like this? how can you be friends with an ex and at the same time let go of the past.?
2007-03-23 08:37:48 · 27 answers · asked by eaglestraces123 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I went through the same thing with my ex a few years ago. I thought he was cheating on me he said he wasn't (I later found out he was actually) so I just stopped talking to him flat out. So months later we started talking to each other again I guess calling ourselves trying to be friends. Anyway he starts playing games like not calling me back saying we were going places but not showing up. So I just cut him out of my life entirely and moved on.
I never call him now but he always calls me every now and then to say he's sorry for what he did and can he see me. I always say NO and I never call him back when he leaves me messages. Just leave him alone it's the best thing you can do because as long as you still deal with him, you will always be reminded of the bad things he did and he will always think he has you like that meaning you are just weak for him.
Also, if he was your boyFRIEND and is now just a friend, would a friend of any kind treat you as he did?
2007-03-23 08:41:06 · answer #1 · answered by !!! 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think your best bet is to stay away from him for at least a while. Then if you still want to try and be friends, then get together and try, but if you still doing the same things and you are having "flashbacks". I would just move on. You will never be able to have a good friendship if you are constantly being reminded of you relationship and the breakup and it will also jeperdize any other relationship you may get into.
2007-03-23 08:44:53 · answer #2 · answered by blebert2002 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Question: Are you ok with just being friends? By what you say and the time that has transpired since you two broke up (which is not a lot), I am guessing you still have feelings for him, and if this is so, then you cannot be friends with him. Let time go by, and if you two are meant to be friends, then that will happen, even if you loose contact for years. I am saying this out of personal experience. The friendship will arise once you forgive and clean yourself of anything other than friendship feelings.
2007-03-23 08:47:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, in your case, I would just cut my ties completely w/ your ex. He's obviously not willing to change and he's hurting you even tho' you're not together, so why would you want to subject yourself to that kind of pain? Sometimes we just have to let people we care about go and move on. Remember him as a friend and boyfriend, but stop the communication. Filter your friends and only keep the ones that make you feel good about yourself around you. This guy is already in your head and driving you crazy, so just leave him alone. You don't need the drama!
2007-03-23 08:42:39 · answer #4 · answered by sweet libra 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've never been successful in remaining friends with an ex for that very reason. The past always reared its ugly head and I was constantly reminded of what went wrong. If you can put that behind you, the friendship may work. But if he upsets you often, I'd say let him go.
2007-03-23 08:44:36 · answer #5 · answered by Duckie314 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was in the same situation, the best thing to do is to give yourself some space and time, the reason why you keep having flash backs is because your not over it yet, once your over it, you won't care at all and would be able to move on with your friendship with him and with your life, trust me on just having a blast with your girlfriends and giving yourself "me time" eventually you'll realize how good of a person you are and your too good to be worrying over some mistake a guy made, hope this helps girl :]
2007-03-23 08:42:31 · answer #6 · answered by MariPari 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you can't. Plain and simple. He's stringing you along and all it's doing is hurting you. Dump the jerk. Seriously I've tried being friends with my ex's and it rarely works.. and if it does there is always that sort of awkwardness.. Everything you said about him seems negative so why are you putting up with it? You are too good and if he ruined the relationship between you two then its HIS LOSS, NOT YOURS! Keep your head up.. he'll realize what he's done and regret it eventually and by that time you will be to busy to give a flying rats butt! :) Good luck :)
2007-03-23 08:42:19 · answer #7 · answered by BeachGrl1985 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I think right now you shouldn't be friends with him. If he still bothers you then that won't go away if you continue to be friends. Sometimes you just gotta let go...even if it hurts. Maybe in the future you guys will be friends again..but right now just take this time to start living your life and not worry about him.
2007-03-23 08:42:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
From what I've experienced, and from what I've seen, nothing good can come from being friends with an ex.
What you're doing is stagnating in the past - which isn't healthy. Let go and live your life.
2007-03-23 08:46:35 · answer #9 · answered by Joa5 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I can actually say im going through the same things.. I still talk to my ex, but we always tend to fight when we talk. He always brings up the past.. I know its hard and im like u what do i do.. I have even told him not to call me anymore
2007-03-23 08:42:44 · answer #10 · answered by blue eyes 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋