Okay, I am in the first trimester of my pregnancy, so smells really bother me. I have a co-worker that ALWAYS eats stuff with onions on it- lots of onions. I always say her stuff sticks- joking- even though it's true. The other day she was having a "bad day" & so when me & a couple other co-workers commented on her food, she got really upset, snapped, started yelling about how she can eat what she wants, and people need to shut up. So I didn't say anthing to avoid cursing her out. Anyway; I told another co-worker that's close to her she really hurt my feelings; whether she had a bad day or not is not a reason to go off on people. That co-worker said it was rude to say someon'es food stinks. Well she has the right to eat her funky ffod at her desk , so don't I have the right to say it stinks to me? Plus she apologized to the other people she snapped at, but she refuses to say sorry to me because "it wasn't directed towards me". Am I wrong for being upset?
2007-03-23 08:33:11 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Just FYI, we always joke with her about her stinky onions & she always laughs it off. She was having a "bad day" so it offended her this day only. Plus 4 other people said something- I was just kinda that "staw the broke the camel's back"- and she snapped at all off us, and apologized to the other 3 people. That is what is really upsetting me.
2007-03-23 08:50:25 · update #1
I think you're both partially wrong... it's not good manners to eat something that smells that strong in a small, closed environment; perhaps she could take her sandwitch outside. But I don't think you and your colleagues handle it well either. If you 'always' say her stuff stinks, and especially if you do so jokingly... it's quite possible she sees it more as something you & your colleagues are picking/bullying her about than something that's a serious problem. It's better to address something like this calmly and seriously one time, than to constantly joke about it... tell her that maybe you have joked about it a lot but that, especially now you're pregnant, her onion really bothers you and ask her if she would mind eating it elsewhere, in the breakroom for example. If you ask her nicely and she understands you're serious and not just picking on her, chances are she'll understand.
2007-03-23 15:14:37 · answer #1 · answered by Sheriam 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, the fact that she apologized to the others and not you is odd but I don't necessarily think she owes anyone an apology. Saying someone's food stinks IS rude and just because she laughs it off doesn't mean it doesn't get to her. She may be using the "bad day" excuse when in reality she was just fed up with people complaining about how her food smells. I'm guessing you guys don't have a break room or something or for whatever reason she's not utilizing it. Would you rather she cook something that is more pleasing to your nose? Unless she's eating at her desk when she's not supposed to be, she's got the right to eat whatever she wants. You have the right to dislike the smell too but the fact that you bring it up all the time (even if it's in a joking way) probably annoys her, I know it would annoy me. If you are so concerned with the fact that she apologized to everyone and not you, you should speak to her about it directly.
2007-03-23 10:13:09 · answer #2 · answered by Vivita 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It does seem like maybe you have been a little bit rude. Being pregnant isn't an excuse to say things that may cause upset to another person. Ganging up with your co-workers does sound a bit like bullying - it's no wonder she snapped. Big deal if she likes onions (millions of people do) - just open a window or something. Have you ever considered apologizing to her? :-)
2007-03-23 09:01:01 · answer #3 · answered by Butterscotch 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are wrong to be upset. Agreed that your co-worker needs to have some common sense about eating smelly foods in a closed environment. And some manners and niceness to know that there is a pregnant lady whom she is bothering would certainly help your co-worker in having more friends at work. However, it is equally rude of you to be telling her off about it (even if jokingly). It is a personal thing she is doing that is not wrong but just gross to some others - like scratching yourself or digging your nose.
2007-03-23 08:45:06 · answer #4 · answered by Happi 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried just telling her the truth? When your expecting some smells can just kill you. I today can't stand the smell of McDonalds, and my daughter is 39. Your both grown women, explain and apologize for not coming to her directly. You may have hurt her feelings with your comments. Good Luck and BEST WISHES FOR YOU AND BABY!
2007-03-23 08:48:05 · answer #5 · answered by TxTLCgal 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi - congrats on baby.. good luck :-)
i think you may be extra sensitive due to pregnancy - i know its an old cliche but its that because it is true!
don't take it personally - and stop talking behind her back, thats what she is probably upset about - not what you said - but how it was approached..
why not say to her that you feel really uncomfortable about having to say something and the smells of food in the office make you feel unwell - it is not her fault - and please can she help you with finding a solution.. maybe somewhere else to eat while your preg.? speak directly to her - and smile - she feels cornered. - does she have children? does she wish she were pregnant? could be a million things, but without asking you will not know.
hth
good luck
xx
2007-03-23 08:42:25 · answer #6 · answered by emma m 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I dont think you are wrong for being upset.. If I was eating something that bothered a co-worker I wouldnt eat it around them and yes you did have a right to say that it stinks and I think it is really rude that she would not apologize to you. So yes you have a reason to be upset if you are pregnant and it bothers you she should be kind and think of her co-workers feelings!!!
2007-03-23 08:38:45 · answer #7 · answered by lover_gurl_2004_08 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Around my office we play name that smell. Greenbeans in the frozen dinners are the worse. I can't stand the smell of fish. Once people realize I really can't an am not just looking for something to crab about they usually warn me they have it and I don't go in the lunch room. I go for a walk.
2007-03-23 09:36:08 · answer #8 · answered by J M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was rude of you to say her food stinks. What did you expect her response to be? You say she could eat her food at her desk, well, if it bothers YOU that bad, why don't you go to your desk? Why should she leave off the onions just because it bothers you?
2007-03-23 08:39:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You know, I really hate when pregnant women think they are 'something else'. What makes them special aside of being pregnant? You still have to respect other people, too. I am so pregnant right now, first trimester just like you, but the only person I expect to treat me like a princess is my husband.
2007-03-23 11:11:36 · answer #10 · answered by Speck Schnuck 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋