What do you do when you want out of a bad relationship?!!?!?

Question

I am in a very emotional and sometimes physical abusive relationship...what can i do to take myself away from that? I know it sounds easier that doing it...I dont wantanswrs like,...just leave..its harder than you think...what do i do?

Answer 1

Sounds like you already know what to do....so either do it, or shut up, bend over, and take it.

Answer 2

It's very very hard.... I know... But the only answer is to "just leave", unless you want to hire a hit-man, of course.

If you are afraid that he is going to physically hurt you if you leave, then you are going to have to go further away. Stay with your parents for awhile if you can, or with a friend. Talk to the police about a restraining order.

If you have no where to go, you best start saving money now. (I would suggest any woman to save money for a plan B, just in case, even if you are not in a bad relationship or even in a relationship at all.) As soon as you have some money saved up, get out, but if he is physically abusive you shouldn't wait.

Now, one last thing, after you are gone, stop all forms of contact. Do not answer his calls, his text or emails... NEVER agree to meet up. Make it a clean break!

If you think while you are breaking up with him he will physically abuse you, pack everything while he is away from the house, move out and leave nothing but a note on the floor saying it's over, why it's over, and to stay away. Don't tell him you still love him or give him any reasons to think that there is still a chance for him.

I know that this isn't really the answer you wanted, I wish there was some magical way to rid you of a bad relationship, but the truth is, it's hard, it's stressful, and you are going to have to stay very very strong.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

I was married to an emotional and physical abusive man for four years! I have two kids! I stayed with him out of fear for four years! At some point you have to be strong and walk away! I had to save my children! I didnt care about me my kids are 2 and 3 the first and only time he abused them i grabed him by the throat threw him up against a wall and broke his colar bone! Then i packed and left him for good!

From personal experience my ex was in the military! I did just leave it took alot of going to the police and restraining order HA right he doesnt care! You cant just walk out and leave you have to make a plan! A place to go where your safe! People you dont understand an abiuvie relationship if not handled properly can get you hurt or even killed! Do some research! MAKE A PLAN AND GET OUT! Dont just call the cops! He will be arrested in jail for a couple days and then hes out and MAD AS HELL! Think about it!

Answer 4

Okay, you ruled out the obvious answer so let me try this.

You don't need to change your view of the relationship; you've accurately pegged it as "emotional and sometimes physical" abuse.

You don't even need to change your view of your option. You know the door's right there; it's just hard for you to walk through it.

Change your view of yourself.

Something about this situation has chipped away at your self-worth, to the point where this is something you feel a need to cling to rather than flee.

I can't give you a shot of self-worth. Nobody can; that's why they call it self-worth. You can take it back when and if you choose to do so.

You are worth more than the treatment you're getting. You know it or you wouldn't have posted this question!

You're close. You know it in your head.

Now feel it and get the hell out of there. You deserve more.

Answer 5

Just that....leave. Unless you haev children, you have to make that first step and leave. 30yrs from now, you will wish you had and regret it, unless he kills you first.
In all honesty? What is there to love? Someone who can hit you or make you feel bad? I would rather be alone. And I went through a mentally abusive relationship. And it hurt very nuch when he left me. Why? Because I only remembered the good in him and thats not right. The best thing you can ever do is leave. If you have somewhere to go...a friend, family. Write a letter and tell him you don't want to be in this type of relationship and go.
If he wants an explanation, tell him and be done with it. Don't let him make you feel bad and sorry for him, because thats what they want. Dont do it.

Answer 6

I just left my husband on monday I finally told someone that he hit me and he abuses me physically and emotionaly and when I told one person, it was easier to tell another and after I told 1 person it was over. You will find that people will help you even if you don't want it. I told my friend and her and her husband have helped me move out they helped me tell my mom and they convinced me to go to the police and the ER and now I have proof and he will get help. I felt bad at first but just today is the first time that I realized that this isn't my fault. and its not yours. It is not your fault that he hits you and its not your fault that he yells at you and treats you so horrible. Its like an addiction, you have to admit that there is a problem before you can do anything. Try and say it to yourself and find someone to say it to and soon you will be out. Good luck write me if you want to talk this is the hardest thing I have ever done and I won't lie it is really hard especially the first day and the second and the third, but he beat me on monday and on friday I getting better I can start to see that is not me its him and that I will be okay.

Answer 7

Of course it's hard. Nothing in life worth attaining is going to be easy, not even emotional peace and stability. But what it boils down to really IS "just do it". I was in an emotionally "abusive" relationship for 8 years. Once I made up my mind to go, I WENT, and I didn't look back. That was over 30 years ago now, and I'm still extremely grateful I did it.

Answer 8

You're not going to get out of it for awhile. For some reason, we like to hang on to someone who we'd like to think loves us no matter what all the signs say. It will make you feel sad and lonely but, you have to continue breaking away. Eventually you can be done with it without the heartache it once was. When you're in a relationship, it should be carefree and mutually respectful, and hopefully, we won't tire of a good relationship and go back to bad habits and be attracted to bad people once again.

Answer 9

First of all I'm sorry that you are involved in such a bad relationship... I've been there and it is hard... you need to get yourself together and make a plan... Your partner is probably unreasonable and will not understand if you try to sit down and talk to him... Having support from family and/or friends always helps... Looks like you already know your answer... I know you don't want this answer but you just really need to leave... Life is too short to be sad... I hope this helps...

Answer 10

It's hard but you need to get out. There are shelters you can go to if you dont have an imediate place to go and also go to the police get a retraining order abuse is nothing to joke with. It can escalde and end very badly. The sooner you leave the better. Have someone you trust come with you to get your things even police will come and assist you if your affraid of getting attacked because of leaving. GET OUT! God bless :)

Answer 11

...leaving anyone isn't always easy hun...but mentally and physically you have to leave this relationship right now darling. It'll destroy or injure or cause you irreparable harm if you don't. Call up someone close to you that you can open up and feel secure in talking to about these issues babe...then call your lawyer and get a restraining order against the individual that is causing you this great and indifferent painful experience...OK? Don't waste time darling....do it today!