My parents have gaurdianship of my 3 children, which I'm very grateful for. They took in my children when I was at a very low point in my life. (jail, drugs, etc.) It's been a llittle over 4yrs. since I've gotten out of jail. They said once I got my life back on track they would give me my kids back. I've been at my job almost 4 years, I get my kids every other weekend, I have est. a steady, loving home for them. But now my parents refuse to give them back. I have filed with the courts to get them back, but my parents keep cancelling or give some stupid excuse that I am not stable enough. I've offered to drug test when ever they want, I've completed a drug program, do to NA meetings. I know they're just trying to drag this out til my older 2 become of age. My son is almost 16 and my daughter is almost 14. My youngest is 9 and has a different father than the older 2, my parents absolutely hate him, even though we are now married. What more can I do?
2007-03-23 08:09:11 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I think I would be asking your children what their opinion is. They are old enough to have a say so. Maybe they have expressed to your parents that they would rather stay where they are because they are settled and comfortable. Sure, your kids may not be telling you because they don't want to hurt your feelings. It could be that your oldest two children don't particularly care for your husband. Anywho...I would seriously take a step back and although you have made some serious changes within the past four years or so to better your life...think about the kids then and now. I'm sure they went through many emotions and hard times because of your choices. You have to live with that now. I would just continue to do what your doing by showing your love and affection to your children. If at some point your parents feel that you aren't going to fall back under the influence again, they may come to terms. Unfortunately, you sacrificed your children for drugs and whatever else back then. Stop being selfish by wanting your kids back all to yourself...think what everyone else has went through because of your mistakes. It's going to be hard to overcome, but you've come so far already. I hate to sound so harsh, but keep your head up!
2007-03-23 08:53:40 · answer #1 · answered by Punkie Brewster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They had the children so long that they probably feel as if you are trying to take 'their' kids away from them. After all, they raised them. You must show them that you are not the enemy, and that you are not trying to take them away from them. Maybe if you could take just the 9 year old off their hands, it would suffice for now. They can then see what a good parent you are now. Do not hate them, as they can sense that you are being their enemy, and you will be going nowhere fast. Bringing gifts of good will to your parents, and to 'their beloved children' goes a long way. CPS will do what the children want, if they are involved. They will bring it to court for you, if the children would like to give you a try. Just keep in mind that the children's 'parents' have been your parents for almost as long as they can remember.
Love them up, enjoy every present moment with them, and not with the bitter what-ifs, and why-fors. Be interested in the children, and their needs and wishes, it's not so much about yourself.
There is a wonderful book on long distance parenting. Things you can do, like make books of their art work, synchronizing your watches and setting a special time for thinking about each other by holding each other's pictures, collecting the same things together, IMs with a camera, and sound, etc. I thought I still had that thin book, and I think, that is the title, if I am not mistaken.
Good luck for them and you.
2007-03-24 15:26:50 · answer #2 · answered by Blank 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to have read of this bad situation, but the best thing a person can do, besides praying about it, is to kill with kindness. This always tends to make people wander, why your being so kind to them. You also need to speak with your parents about this. One child should not singled out because of a mistake from others in the household.
2007-03-23 15:19:04 · answer #3 · answered by Moose 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You kids are now old enough to go and speak for themselves. You've showed that you are a better person now but when you go to court the judge will consider what you kids want as well.
I wish you the best of luck!
2007-03-23 15:53:48 · answer #4 · answered by Valentina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You changed, your a better person than you were when your parents first took them in. All I can tell you is, keep fighting. I hope you live in a city that actually cares about the facts, which is more than I can say for where I live.
2007-03-23 15:31:41 · answer #5 · answered by Utena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your 2 oldest is at that age that the court lets them decide where they want to live.
tell your parents how happy u r that they were able to take care of them and how glad u r that they love the kids so much. say u just want a chance to raise your children.
2007-03-23 15:15:57 · answer #6 · answered by Miki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you have gone to court then the courts will decide and your parents can not control when to set or cancel the court dates, thats up to the judge!!! you want your kids so you just keep fighting for them!!!!!
2007-03-23 15:17:56 · answer #7 · answered by B-E-B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU FIGHT for your kids, unfortunately, I was victim of a foster home along with my twin and we know for a fact its best to be fully involved or all the way gone ..I would have thanked them for the effort.
You do all you can until theres nothing you can do, fight for your kids and don't let someone else raise them your better now I believe in you
2007-03-23 15:14:11 · answer #8 · answered by Diva 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just grin and bear it during the visits and afterwards, go home and scream in a pillow or take a bat to a tree outside of your house.
Hope it helps.
2007-03-23 15:16:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably did this, but first try to increase the visits. Going from once every two weeks, to full-time seems like a big jump.
2007-03-23 15:14:36 · answer #10 · answered by lillilou 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋