i met this girl about 7 months ago, she is canadian but her company sent her to work here in france for a year, anyway when i met her she told me that she has a boyfriend back in canada and they've been together for almost 5 years.
i didn't show her any interest and we started running into each other because we are in the same circle of friends and then we became very close and there was chemistry and so we agreed to become "Friends with benefits" but then we became even closer! and there was so much passion, and then she says she wants to be exclusive and we started dating for a while
at this point she tells me that she wanted to break up with her boyfriend even before we met.
so now she went back to canada to break up with her 5 years boyfriend and she'll be back in a couple of weeks
here's my dilemma:
did she hook up with me just to make it easier for her to break up with her 5 years or was she really interested???? and when she comes back should i give her some space or date her!
2007-03-23 07:56:05 · 10 answers · asked by Slash 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She had to go back there because they were living together and she needed to take her stuff out of his place, and you can't end a 5 years relationship with a phone call!!!
but yes, she confessed to have had break-up sex with him!!! and she told me that i can sleep with other girls while she is away!!! God, i feel like a sucker!!!
2007-03-23 07:56:26 · update #1
and she extended her job in france for one more year to be with me, and the reason she wanted to break up with him is that he is 33 and she is 26 and he wants to settle down and have kids and wants to have a traditional family, and that's not what she wants yet...
2007-03-23 08:18:35 · update #2
I agree that the break up shouldn't be done over the phone considering it was a 5 yr relationship. I'd be curious on why she wanted to break up with him in the first place before y'all met. Good possibility she did use you to make it easier mentally on her self by having a back up boyfriend. It doesn't mean she's not interested in you but I would take things slow when she gets back.
Females tend to have the need to have a back up relationship before ending the previous one. Unfortunately we tend to be insecure or have the fear of being alone. We have the desire to feel wanted and need to be in a relationship to feel whole. Once the current relationship starts to feel unpleasant (by our own standards of course) then we tend to seek else where for what we are missing till we find it. Then we figure out how to break it off with the old & continue with the new.
Ask this before you decide what to do. If her company brought her to you for a year then what happens when that year is up? Is she willing to stay near you or go back to Canada thus being close to the ex. If she had break up sex then what says that won't happen when y'all are apart. Yeah she said it's OK for you to see other girls while she's gone but she doesn't mean it. It would only make her feel less guilty for what she did.
Hope this helps & good luck. Use your head before you listen to your heart.
2007-03-23 08:11:44 · answer #1 · answered by tygernside 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The way all this develop tells you a lot of who you both are and depending on what you are looking for would determine what could be done. I am not being judge mental OK... but it seems that you are both looking for some one to just hook up with and not for a relationship.( If I am wrong, sorry but the actions make it seem this way)
She has been with some one for 5 yrs. and if she did want to break up with him before she met you, she did in deed use you to make it easier; that doesn't mean she did not fall for you. Making changes is difficult and leaving someone that has been around for 5 years is hard as well but it seems she establish something with you already so she is probably assuming your still dating. I don't think she is looking for space in between relation ships... so be careful if what you are looking for is a relationship...
I'm sorry but a girl who cheats on her boyfriend from a 5year relationship and then goes back and sleeps with him does not seem like the girl to take home and meet your parents.
Wish you the best!
2007-03-23 15:16:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that u need to give her a little bit of room she has only been with one guy for 5 years she has feelings for him even thow u dont want her to she cant just not care give her time if she is really into u she will come to u. she will want to be with u if it is for real but u have to give her some space girls cant just not care about someone they have been with for 5 years just give her time things will work out in the end.
2007-03-23 15:04:40 · answer #3 · answered by Amber M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all it sounds like your in love!!! Don't worry about her having break-up sex with him unless of course you and her are comitted to one another 100%. Another thing don't sleep with another gurl. She only told you that b/c it would'nt make her feel as bad. Just wait until she comes home and see how things are going. This is probably hard for her. I mean she was with the guy for 5 years. If she did use you and you need a shoulder to cry on, I'll let you cry on mineLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-23 15:05:50 · answer #4 · answered by jesakah_myers 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You feel like a sucker? Then wake up and take the wrapper off your head!!! This girl is having her cake, eating it too, and probably having a good laugh at your expense while she licks the frosting off the knife with her forked little tongue. If you want a serious relationship with someone who values your heart and feelings, look elsewhere.....she's not the one.
2007-03-23 15:16:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think she was just having a fling with you and you got sucked in, it sucks but at least next time maybe you'll be a little more wary.
2007-03-23 15:01:57 · answer #6 · answered by Liberal_chick 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that oyu helped her get over her boyfriend but I don't think that she used you fro that soul purpose!! I think that you should still give her a try and see how things work themselves out!
2007-03-23 15:02:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
5 years? if you really want to be with her then you need to wait otherwise you are rebound guy.
2007-03-23 15:03:55 · answer #8 · answered by Greenchylde 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Damn. I would move on. That pretty much shows you how your entire relationship would be if you continued with her.
2007-03-23 15:03:26 · answer #9 · answered by SuzyQ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sorry thats to long i am not going to read but good luck with your problem
2007-03-23 14:59:58 · answer #10 · answered by doggypaws32 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋