My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. I get feelings that I don't want to be with him anymore because he never shows me how he feels about me and it makes me feel insecure. When I am by myself I say that I will need to try and breakup with him but then I get around him and change my mind and we have a good time together. Should I stay or should I go?
2007-03-23 07:30:23 · 10 answers · asked by Uh huh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He can also be a bit controling
2007-03-23 07:33:13 · update #1
But I do love him
2007-03-23 07:33:28 · update #2
I think the first thing, and the most important thing to do in this case is- convince yourself first that you want to break up..know what i mean?
2007-03-23 07:37:43 · answer #1 · answered by kickmeloose 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In order to break up with someone you have a few options.
1) Flake out. Start forgetting about important things. When he calls don't answer the phone. Avoid hanging out and when you do act uninterested.
2) Make up lame excuses. When you get stuck talking to him and he asks you to do something make up a lame excuse like "oh i am washing my hair." If he's tried reaching you a bunch of times and you are finally stuck talking to him and he asks why you haven't called him back say "I was busy" and don't bother offering an excuse. If pressed say something like "yeah i just didn't feel like it".
Strategies 1+2 can be used in tandem, otherwise known as the "flaking out and making lame excuses" breakup strategy. It results in two outcomes. Either he will go frustrated and break up with you or your flaking out will be so successful that you result in a de facto breakup without the formal declaration and messiness.
The above would seem to work for you. You clearly are interested in avoiding confrontation and spending time together creates a dependency trap that you can't seem to rise above.
If you feel guilty about this behavior and want to grow as a person then pick the next strategy.
3) Setup a face to face meeting. Tell him you would be happier without your relationship and you want it to end. Don't offer a lot of explanation - it will result in either a failed breakup attempt or you will say something you regret. Keep in short. And after you do do not contact him at all and do not receive calls.
Good luck!
2007-03-23 07:52:41 · answer #2 · answered by peter_ryan_tw 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you feel differently about him if he showed your how he felt about you more and was less controlling? Have you let him know that these two issues bother you? If not, I think it would be difficult and may feel unfair to him if you break up with him without giving him a chance to address these problems.
Also, you should know that many women complain that men do not adequately express how they feel. This may not change if you were to date someone else.
Only you can make the decision if you want to stay or go. If you have told him your problems with his behavior (not expressing his feelings enough and being too controlling) and is is unable or unwilling to attempt to correct these problems, then let him know (nicely!) that you want to see other people.
2007-03-23 07:42:42 · answer #3 · answered by Kate Winter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him u havin a lot of problems an u need some time by ur self that u want to take a break that u like then an every thing bt u just want a lil time off an thats it
2007-03-23 07:35:46 · answer #4 · answered by moises t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think about what's really wrong. or just ask for a break. you may need some time to get things worked out in your head. both partners usually know when they are breaking up/taking a break, so it shouldn't come as too much of a surprise.
2007-03-23 07:47:21 · answer #5 · answered by mrspres01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"How do I break up with someone?"
just tell him you want to break up
what is so hard about that
your not happy so move on whats so hard
if you have problems with your insecurites thats your own problem
but if you are not happy why stay
grow up and say see ya later alligator
do you need to give him a reason? just go
2007-03-23 07:35:47 · answer #6 · answered by quasi m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest about what you are feeling and stand strong with your feeling. Either he will wanna work to better things or he won't and at that point, you have a decision to make.
2007-03-23 07:36:42 · answer #7 · answered by Girly-Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love Conquers All!
2007-03-23 07:34:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
break up you are going to keep getting these mixed feelings and eventually you will become depressed you do not want that to happen
2007-03-23 07:35:36 · answer #9 · answered by DJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MAYBE SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST TO DISCUSS THE PROBLEMS. IF HE ISN'T WILLING TO WORK ON THE RELATIONSHIP BETTER TO LEARN IT BEFORE YOU MARRY. DON'T MOVE IN WITH HIM. THAT WOULD MAKE IT WORSE.
2007-03-23 07:53:23 · answer #10 · answered by Bettee62 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋