Am I a bad mother?

Question

I'm a stay at home mom of 2 active boys. I quit my job so that I can raise my children on my own. Besides the daily care I give them of feeding them, changing them, bathing them, etc., I spend very little time playing with them. I feel so tired when I'm not doing something I have to do, all I want to do is go on-line or watch tv. Am I a bad mom for not spending quality time with my kids?

My two boys are 3 & 2 years old. We do go out to parks, go to Chuck E. Cheesees, go shopping, run errands, etc., but they play on their own, very little "fun interaction" between mom & child. Of course there is time spent "together" when i care for them, but is that enough?

Answer 1

Obviously you are having some feelings of guilt, or you wouldnt have asked this question. The fact that your feeling this way is a good indication to me that you know you could be doing more when it comes to your children. They are only small for a short period of time, and in a few years, they will not want to spend time and "play" with mommy. I would suggest you enjoy them now and lounge and watch tv or the internet after they have gone to bed or while they are napping.

Answer 2

You're not a bad mother. You just have a few things to work on. Like, for instance, when you are tired you say you just want to watch t.v. or go on the net. Can you take a half hour out of that time to read with your children. Children get great benefits out of being read to. Can you color with them for 30 minutes? Something quiet. It will be hard at first because you'd rather be doing something else but over time you may just become to enjoy the quiet time with your children. They also will learn how to relax and not always be so active. You have to teach them this. I think you are doing a good job from what I've read. The only suggestion I'd make is the ones I already have. Don't be so hard on yourself. If you feel that your not doing your best then change it! Trust me, your children know how you feel, they can sense it. Even if it's a couple times a week, it's better than it is now isn't it? Pat yourself of the back, a lot of parents are so busy thinking about 'me me me' that they miss out on their children. You want better for them and you so go get it!

Answer 3

No, you're just exhausted and stressed like the rest of us. You don't mention how old they are, but if they are not yet in school you are probably totally justified in that exhaustion.

It is VERY important that you get proper nutrition; it helps you to have the energy you need. Avoid junk food and sugars as much as possible. And set aside a time each day that you do something you consider quality time with them. Read a book, go to the park, whatever. Maybe you and the boys could get into martial arts together. They would think you are the coolest mom in the world, and you would get some exercise, which is energizing.

Answer 4

I don't think you are a bad mom. It sounds like you have made a lot of sacrifices to stay at home with your boys and I think that's the sign of a great parent. Just because you have children doesn't mean that you shouldn't ever take time to do things that you enjoy doing.

I'm not a parent, but as far as I know from my friends that have kids, being a mom is the toughest job out there. You are making sure that the children have the things that they need on a daily basis. Sure, quality time is important and you should spend time just hanging out with them, too, but don't feel bad if you feel the need to get some rest for yourself.

Answer 5

I would say you are not a bad mother because it sounds like you care. No offense it sounds like you may be on the lazy side, but I am not in your shoes, so truly I am not trying to make judgments. Maybe another reason you do this, is because you are not interested in what they are interested in, that could make it hard. You did say they were boys. Think about it this way, if you had a little girl that wanted to play with dolls, would it be easier for you to be involved? I would try to make more of an effort if I were you, because kids love to show their parents what they can do. Also, by being more involved you will be raising more confident and caring children.
Take care.

Just read your update and it sounds like you just need to re-prioritize and maybe have dad do some more of the "taking care of things" so you have more energy to play. It just sounds like you are worn out and overwhelmed with the maintenance stuff, and that you are not getting a chance to enjoy the fun stuff. I am sure something can be worked out for you, because I think you would be a happier mom if you could play more. In return, your kids will probably be happier too. I definitely don't think you are lazy now. :)

Answer 6

You're not a bad mom it's normal to be tired but if you want to a little more involved trying playing a less tiring game with them. The have each other to rough house and be rowdy with but you can learn a video game they like and play it with them. Do a craft or puzzle. Play a board game. Here's a favorite of mine make up a treasure hunt type game. Hide stuff around the house while you do your daily activities and then when it's play time send the boys looking for the things you hid. If you plan it right and have enthusiasm in your voice you will entertain them for hours while you watch TV or read or whatever. If they are old enough to read simple words give them a list and a marker to mark off things as they find them if not tell them one item at a time and have them return to you with it.

Answer 7

It's as much as YOU the way you elevate your youngster. What ever your intestine tells you,then do it. A dangerous mom is anyone who does not feed their children,anyone who beats their children,anyone who does not care. A well mom is anyone who loves their children,who cares approximately them,who makes certain they've the whole lot they want MOMMY TO ANGELBABY: So if anyone can not have enough money trendy stuff for his or her little one and use stuff from different individuals that is nonetheless in well form they're dangerous moms? If a mother has to visit paintings to help her loved ones and be certain her loved ones has what they want,they're a foul mother? If a mother has to make use of WIC or foodstamps,in view that she can not have enough money to not,they're a foul mother??If you be certain your youngster is fed,you are a foul mother? As lengthy because the youngster is not hungry then what is the deal? If you feed your youngster in public you are a foul mother?? So you wish the youngster to head hungry? If a mother takes her youngster in public earlier than he/she is six weeks she's a foul mother? So the mother is think to rent a sitter for five mins even as you get diapers? You're a foul mother should you allow your little one cry for a couple of mins? It's well to allow them to,in view that it is helping their lungs. You're a foul mother should you feed little one solids beneath 6 months? Doctor reccomends it at 4months.I can not belive you honestly mentioned that. You suppose you are a ultimate mom do not you? News flash darlin' there aren't any ultimate moms however they are are well ones

Answer 8

The whole point of staying home is to raise your kids and spend quality time with them. If you aren't doing this, you should just be at work. You need to get your butt away from the computer and TV and take them out! My kids love to go for walks around the neighborhood. I have my lazy days too, don't get me wrong. But a majority of the time, we are doing things together and having fun.

Answer 9

But you are spending quality time with the children. There is quality interaction when you are taking care of their necessities such as bathing, changing, feeding, etc. You can only do so much. I was a single parent with 2 girls. I was working on a degree, so I included them in my classes when it was appropriate. The few times I had for myself, I cherished. Do not start feeling guilty yet. There is plenty of time for that

Answer 10

No your not a bad mother. I'm not a mother my self and i definitely don't want 1 any time soon, but i have to watch my 2 year old sister an awful lot and by the time i get her fed, get her bath and keeping her out of trouble, i just want to relax. and i don't even have to spend all day with her, she's usually at day care til some where b/t 5:00 and 6:00