Since no one teaches anyone how to be a parent anymore, it seems like the first child is always a test model, with inexperienced parents, but by the time the second one comes along, the parents have learned from their mistakes and know more what to expect, so the succeding kids have better parents. Is that true? Does that explain why different kids from the same family behave differently?
2007-03-23 07:26:28 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
VIctOria, didn't you just prove my point?
2007-03-23 07:39:29 · update #1
VIctOria, I'm sorry, I misread, I thought Sis was the older one. No, you're right, you clearly are an exception, so obviously the theory isn't universally true.
2007-03-23 07:41:26 · update #2
I am the oldest of 5 siblings and we all are very different.
The truth is that the 2nd (and subsequent) children are raised by a second set of parents, the older siblings. It has to have an effect. Most 2nd kids I've known, are smarter than their older siblings. Including my brother. They also have the benefit of watching the oldest child get in trouble and the ramifications of that trouble.
Also, the oldest ends up being the one that sets all the standards for the rest of the kids. So if oldest gets a car, and wrecks it, younger ones end up screwed. Things like that.
And your parents just get tired, tired of being hard-asses and trying to be the "perfect" parents. By the time my littlest brothers came to be, my parents were just happy if a day went buy without blood, screaming or food fights. The "babies" (now 30 & 31) got away with everything us older ones would have been smacked for.
Such is life.
2007-03-23 07:41:58 · answer #1 · answered by Gem 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I disagree. I think it all depends on the relationship that the child has with their parents. Sometimes Older children have a compatible relationship with the parent(s) and other times it may be the younger. The more compatible the relations are the better, er, easier it is for all in question. I have two children and true the second time around we are more experienced but that only entails to diaper changing, sickness, feedings, etc. The personalities of the children are extremly different and do to that we deal with different issues. With that being said, I believe the best parents are those who accept that children are different and those parents who find what works with each child individually is a success!!
2007-03-23 07:37:14 · answer #2 · answered by Delite 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First parents will always face challenges but I don't think that has anything to do with the second child. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Not all second children are better than the first. Humans are not little robots that can be programed to do and think exactly the same thing as the others. Each child is unique and has a mind of his/her own.
2007-03-23 07:30:47 · answer #3 · answered by kcdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe so! But at the same time so parents are like extra careful with the first child because they're afraid that they might do something wrong, but when the second comes they already know what's best and I think that's why the younger kids are messier! Well at least that's my case, I'm the older and I behave better than my siblings! :)
2007-03-23 07:33:03 · answer #4 · answered by Dan =] 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people usually do have a better time raising a child the second time around. You realize the mistakes that you made the 1st time and you generally get a better aspect on how to handle certain problems.
2007-03-23 07:32:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I knew exactly going into my first (and I was 21 when I had her) the things that I wanted to teach her..morals, values, love...all of the important stuff. Now that I'm older (almost 36) yes I am wiser, but I also know that they have taught me PATIENCE, which is generally in short supply when you are younger...I have more patience now with many more kids than when I was 24 and had just 2...(and yes I'm still teaching all of the good stuff).
2007-03-23 07:31:47 · answer #6 · answered by Proud Mommy of 6 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think my husband and I have been very consistant when it comes to raising our children. Our boys are young now, but they all have pretty darn good parents if I do say so myself. People always made comments about the way we raised our first son, they always said it was like he was our second or third child because we were such calm parents and he was (and is) such a great kid.
2007-03-23 07:30:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To some degree you do learn from your mistakes. I don't think it necessarily explains why kids behave differently. Each child isn't a replica of the one before it. Each one is unique and different, inheriting different characteristics from both parents.
2007-03-23 07:30:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Test model? Aside from that, I was just more mature with my daughter. My kids are almost 9 years apart. Things that stressed me out with my son didn't with my daughter. Each child is different, so you could have completely different parenting ways. It's not like programming your tv. Parenting is basically guessing. If you get it right with one child, you hope and pray it works with your others.
2007-03-23 07:32:03 · answer #9 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes I think so. I know I personally feel I enjoy every little step of my youngest ones milestones better than the first one. This is because I can relax and enjoy it rather than worry so much as to "how to" do everything with my first. Now I am expecting my 3rd and I can say I have enjoyed being pregnant more with this one cause I can relax and enjoy expecting a new one too!
2007-03-24 17:39:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋