what do about med ling mother in law full of empty promises?

Question

What to do when your mother in law is in every acpect of our lives.We have purchased our new home and everything is still her desicion.The color of the walls the color or the floor.She says that she going to help us to this and that "just to be nice" nothing is being done yet.Everything that she has done we hear about later.I appreciate her help and honestly we could use it when is enough enough

Answer 1

Why is she making any decisions in your lives? Just say," Thanks for your input, but we're going to do _____." Try to include her in areas that you want help in. That way, she won't feel like you're pushing her away completely.

Answer 2

I don't get it why aren't you painting your own walls or having a painting party with the family...pass a dish? All you have to do is communicate and you'd be surprised the help you might end up with. Also, some take suggestions as attacks...if that's going on it's a promise you and your mom (by marriage) will have unnecessary drama between you...which will come back to haunt and could weigh heavy on your marriage if you feel this woman can't do anything right no matter what she does. Be nice and let her help you but don't expect it all and if it's something you truly need no help with tell her. Work together on things....especially if time is limited for all. She may call on you some day or it also wouldn't hurt for you to ask if she needs a helping hand once in a while along with getting to know her on a non-task basis.

Answer 3

I know how you feel, I had the same problem.
You need to have your husbands support in standing up to your mother-inlaw, you need to confront her in a nice manner together as a team.
She probably feels she is losing control, losing her baby boy....to you. It's almost a competion. But let her know you appreciate the offer for whatever it is she's offering to help with or do and maybe next time you'll take her up on her offer.
As for the empty promises, maybe she is testing you to she how dependent you are? Can you take care of her baby boy?You need to show her that you and your husband are a team and independent.
Remember it's you and your husbands house, do what you both like to the house. If you need help, what a freinds or good neighbours for? What about your own family?
Remember there is never only one option, do what you and your husband think is right. But always be nice and try never to say anything that can be used against you by your mother-inlaw to cause you and your husband to fight.....remember she is his mother!
Stay Strong!

Answer 4

Let what she says in one ear and out the other. As long she has no means of putting her opinions into action, they can just all evaporate in thin air.

For the home - Nicely tell her that 'purple' is not really your color and let her know what you really like. Tell her you will be living in the home and you would like it to be something you imagined a home to be for you family.

For the rest of the stuff - just say "uh-huh" "umm" "i see" "i know" to whatever she says then turn around and do whatever you want.

Best,

G

Answer 5

I moved to a different state to get away from my mother in law. No joke. She was always trying to tell me,and my husband,how to raise my step daughter. She also was always in our busines. It has been great not living so close. She will never stop. Good luck !!!!

Answer 6

Enough is enough when she starts trying to decide the colors you will have to live with in YOUR home. You need to have your husband tell her that you will decorate your home the way you want it because you have to live in it.