What to do? Crises situation! Please help!?

Question

My spouse is acting crazy, saying things like his child is not his child (she's in elementary school) and that he wants nothing to do with her, yeterday saying that she was a "ding dong" and blaming this behaviour on his "upbringing" saying he didn't see it as abuse and then turning it around today. Now he is talking about divorce and we won't have a house to live in and saying that I brought all this up. He blames me for everything he can. He has admitted that or lied to me that (not sure which) he verbally abuses his boss at the risk of getting fired. I have never seen him abuse others. He has also told me that he wishes he had a child like some other woman's because this child is calm(er). My child by him is normal or above average. He glanced at the pc before leaving for work and wrote something down, I don't know what. I wrote a note for him to chose us and help or someone else and does it make him feel like a man to call his child this and act that way. This is how he is treating

my feelings, throwing away a note I wrote asking him to chose between us and treatment or someone else and not getting treatment and does it make him feel like a man and bigger and better to name call a child and treat us the way he does. I could go on with the list but it would be very long.
Can someone like this get help and healed? Will this all blow over? Will he always be like this?

He does this behaviour from time to time. He is not always like this, but it really hurts when he gets like this, and it's like he mood swings or something. There is history of mental illness (not psychosis?) and suicide in his relatives, but he passes his actions and words off as me causing them and others listening to him believe I make him do these things. He tricks people into his lies about me. And what's worse is he sometimes seems to think he is right to do and say things that hurt us.
How can I keep the house? What do I say to him to get him to try to see it from our point of view and to possibly get the help, diagnosis, and medicine he needs? I have tried so hard to be nice to him before, but my niceness has worn thin, and yes I think I made it worse by asking him if it made him feel like a man to name call our child and to treat us the way he does, but putting down a child...so wrong..so very wrong and it really hurt me to hear him call our child that.

Answer 1

Don't judge yet
Get help and then if it continues get out of there. You'll get half of everything including his income, plus child support.

Do what is best for your child !

Answer 2

ouch! I'm so sorry!
Obviously there is something going on with him, sounds like he could use a shrink!
My husband and i went through some hard times with our emotions towards each other and the best thing i learned from all of it is that I have to teach people how to treat me! Also his feelings and emotions are his to own, not yours!
When my husband and i would be fighting and he would put me down verbally i used to add fuel to the fire by doing exactly what you are .... i would ask him if it made him feel like a man bla bla bla.. but i learned that that wasn't doing any good! The best thing (comeback if you will) is to say "you may be right" and just walk away from the situation...
if he gets worse with the verbal abuse i would make sure you set your boundaries and stick to them, stay calm...let him know under no circumstance will you tolerate his verbal abuse! But remember just stay calm...
If things have calmed down.. ask that the two of you go for a walk (never say "we need to talk")..
ask him in a loving way whats going on with him... is there anything you can do to help etc....
continue to pray for him, maybe talk to a counselor yourself or your pastor, priest... etc...
Best wishes!
Oh and i do think that ANYONE can be healed and Any relationship can survive no matter what if both are willing to let Jesus soften their hearts!

Answer 3

You would have despair, however I would not be so speedy to leap to that end. You're just a little younger, however across the proper age for teenage angst to begin kicking in. However, it sounds extra like you're relating to a deep disappointment that may not depart it doesn't matter what. That is anything exceptional utterly, above all at your age. If this sense does no longer depart, I feel you will have to see a healthcare professional and spot if you'll be able to be dealt with for it. I'm on therapy for despair, and it fairly does support. Good good fortune!!

Answer 4

I have only seen situations like this when there are reasons to suspect infidelity, or when they are feeling guilty about their infidelity. However, this person could be going off the deep end, or is maybe very stressed out.

If you feel that you or your child are in danger, you need to go to some place safe. Get the advice of your trusted friends, family, church, and any health professionals you can. I would not automatically assume that this is a mental health issue, but it could be. Sounds like there might be a lot of stress in your lives.

We are on the Internet and we cannot know the exact situation. That is why you really need to go to real people who know you and about this situation.

At times like these, it is especially good to go to God for help and comfort. Your actions need to reflect what Jesus Christ would have you do. That takes a lot of love and courage on your part, you may even have to take some risks. However, do not be foolish, there is no reason to put yourself, or your child, or even your husband, in harm's way.

If you feel that you could be in danger (especially in doing what you know you need to do), keep in mind that there is safety in numbers, there is safety in keeping the law, and there is safety in doing the right things.

Answer 5

Yes he can be healed, or treated. He could be going through some kind of psychosis. He really needs to be checked out. Perhaps you could check with his boss and see if he has really been acting strange there. If so, perhaps the boss could cooperate with you in getting him to accept testing and treatment.
If there is no solution, yes, perhaps you will need to remove yourself and your daughter from the situation. In fact that could eventually be another way of forcing him to get treatment.

All this assuming, of course, that what you are describing is as you say - and you sound as if you are describing something that actually exists.

Answer 6

That is a guy STUCK in the 1800's

Tell him to stop blaming his problems on the world, and take action, He never had toget married, he never had to live with someone,
he never had to be a parent,

HE CHOSE ALL OF THIS, So it's HIS problem and not yours,
Don't let him mentally abuse you. Or your child,

Tell him if he can't grow up, then he can learn from the street

Answer 7

You can't change him or make him get help. But you can get counseling for yourself. This is not to say you've done anything wrong - you haven't. But you need help coping with his abusive behavior. Call your local domestic abuse hot-line - most of them offer counseling on a sliding-scale fee. Take care of yourself first, for the sake of your daughter.

Blessed Be.

Answer 8

I think he needs to see a mental health professional. And you need to think about removing yourself and your child from the situation if he doesn't. Beyond that, all you can do is pray.

Answer 9

is this unusual or standard behavior? he may need to go to the dr. and get evaluated..which he probably won't do. maybe he's cheating and lashing out to ease his guilt. if it keeps on i would get out until he gets help...for your daughter.

Answer 10

first and foremost is your childs welfare, if this keeps up kick his butt out and force him to see a shrink!!