Not having a wedding ceremony because I'm too shy and don't like being the center of attention...?

Question

I don't really want a wedding because I don't like being the center of attention. And of course I could save the money. But I'm afraid if I don't I'll regret it later. I didn't walk for high school graduation or go to prom or do any of the typical things in life and my mom is making me feel bad because she won't be able to see her daughter get married. But I don't know if I want a wedding or not. What should I do?

Answer 1

You could have a small wedding. Just invite your family and closest friends. That would be an option.

Answer 2

Having a wedding is a special time that is shared between the bride and the groom. It helps bring the bond between you and your future husband. Being shy isn't a bad thing, and yeah not wanting to be the center of attention is something some girls can't handle and like I said nothing wrong with that. You can have a simple wedding with a few friends and family or just have a small wedding in front of a judge. That way you can have one. If you feel that having a large wedding will make you too much the center of attention you can always have it so that your groom meets you just within the door and walks you down the aisle that way he's the center of attention right along with you. But being a bride is something special, and even shy you could enjoy as you look beautiful and your husband waits for you at the end of the aisle.

Good luck hun

Answer 3

I think you should look at pictures of small weddings and also look into what you would do in a courthouse or whatever your other option is. If you look into it, it will clarify what you really want. I am getting married May 26th and I decided to have a destination wedding simply because I wanted it to be only close friends and family. Before I planned it, my sister got married and had a big wedding where she couldn't talk to everyone and we didn't even know some people. I knew then that I did not want that. You have to figure out what you really want, and the only way to do that is to research. If you are too nervous about being the center of attention, look into destination weddings. It is a relaxed atmosphere and people do it all the time! It is a lot cheaper too. Then you will have beautiful pictures and you can send your mom one :) Don't worry about your mom making you feel bad....she will get over it. Afterall, it is YOUR day no matter what you decide to do so make sure it is what you want.

Answer 4

It really is up to you, but I would suggest having a small ceremony with just you and your fiance and your parents. You could include grandparents and siblings too, or anyone you feel comfortable in front of. I'm guessing since you went to high school that you can be around people as long as they are not all staring at you and making you the center of attention. You could have the small ceremony and then a nice, simple reception for both families to meet. It may be hard to deal with the fact that everyone is there for you, but just think about it as two families meeting. Have some friends there you are close to and anyone else you're comfortable with. Just have it casual, like a family reunion where no one will be staring at you walking down the aisle, or commenting on your dress, or watching you dance alone with your husband. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with just for your parents. You can take wedding pictures at home or at the court house just as easily. And if you decide against it for now, you can always have a vow renewal later in life if you decide you'd like a bigger wedding event. Good luck!

Answer 5

Our wedding was the best party I've ever been too. The ceremony in the church was a bit stressful but the reception was fantastic. You have a party where everyone that is there is YOUR friend. There shouldn't be anybody there that isn't a good friend or family member. You shouldn't be shy around people you know well - whats to worry about?

If you worried about the ceremony, do it someplace other than a church - a beach, a backyard, park, mountaintop, restaurant, bar.....whatever floats your boat.

There is something about it when it's your wedding that sets it apart from other weddings. I've been to weddings for relatives that I know most if not everyone there - but it didn't have the magic of my own.

I think you'll be sorry if you don't at least have a reception.

Answer 6

Could you come up with a happy medium? How about a private ceremony with "family only" which should limit it to 20 or 30 people and then have a party later? Or how about making it a very casual service, maybe without all this "walking down the aisle" stuff. You should do what will make you and your fiance happy.

What I'm trying to say is that you don't have to have the "American White Wedding" that has been drummed into girls' heads since they were 5. So yes, think about how you'll look back on your wedding in, say, five years and think about what you'll want to remember. That should give you a good starting place.

Answer 7

I think you will regret it. I am the same way...just make it very intimate at night and lit with candles(romantic but you cant really see that many people) Walking down the aisle is the hardest thing to do. However there is a trick Look at No One! but your future husband. He will calm you Guaranteed! Another idea is to be in a place you feel comfortable outside on the hillside or something under an arch way and a veil is a good idea! I think you will enjoy this once you do it. But I will recommend that you may not have a huge reception but maybe some cake and tea small gathering of family and a few close friends. Best Wishes

Answer 8

If you don't regret not walking for you high school graduation or going to the prom then I'm sure you wont regret this. A lot of people don't have weddings. My sister isn't. We all want her to but it's her choice just as it is your choice. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing it if you don't want to. Of course if you do decide to give in and have a wedding you could always have a small, family only wedding in the mountains or something. Good Luck!

Answer 9

I can understand you not wanting the be the center of attention, and shying away from a wedding ceremony for that reason. BUT, you can have a very small, very intimate gathering of closest friends and immediate family. These people all know you the best, and understand you don't like being the center of attention. Speaking as a mother of a daughter, I would be DEVASTATED if I couldn't witness her marriage. You don't have to do it in a huge church, you can do it in your parent's living room. The important thing is the marriage, NOT the wedding. Best of luck to you!

Answer 10

this is really a personal matter and you should only consider what you and your future husband want, not your mother, friends and other want.
you should think more and try to decide wheter you want or not a wedding. here are some questions to help you put things in balance: will i regret later not havin a wedding? did i regret not walking at graduation ar going to prom? if u decide u want to have the wedding, will you be able to overcome your shyness and have a good time? are your friends and relative putting pressure on you for not wanting to have a wedding(as i said, it's a personal decision)? what is your future husband saying?
here's another tip: if u don't have the wedding, your could decide to go on a really nice honey moon , which would last longer than a night and could be a memory of a lifetime
good luck and have a nice wedding if you decide to have one!

Answer 11

Are you kidding me...you've missed out on so much already just by reading your details. You should go to a psychologist...that's a serious issue. You can't live the rest of your life sheltered because you're terrified of attention. Attention in the right way is wonderful. Okay, so you probably won't take my advice on a shrink, but I think you should just suck it up and have a beautiful wedding and reception...you need the change. Relax and enjoy yourself without having a thought in the back of your mind. I'll pray for you! I really and truly feel sorry for you. Or wait, are you one of those people that thrive off other people's pity for you? Either way, good luck...you will regret it if you don't live life to the fullest...you don't know what you're missing!