Help... please?

Question

Please, help me.
I have just been talking to a classmate (a friend of mine), and he told me that I need to relax, that I'm a nerd and that I'm never going to find a girlfriend.
Though objectively that's not true, (girls like me, and a lot of girls find me cute, they say so), and I'm pretty hansome, after he said that, I feel terrible.

I feel like I'm no one.

I feel wortheless.

I feel traumatized. I feel like I want to die... How come that I get so easily affected by words? How come that other people can hurt me?

Now, I feel like I'm myself --- in his eyes. That's why I feel so bad.

He's not right. Is he?

Note: I'm 15. I never had a girlfriend, but not because I couldn't find one, but because I'm waiting for the real one and I don't want to talk about my feelings with my friends.

Can I rely on objective proof (that girls like me) or on his words (that I'm no-one when it comes to girl?)

Help me.

Is it possible that he is... jealous?

Answer 1

He's not much of a friend if he said such mean things to you. A friend would be encouraging, not putting you down. I'd figure this person is insecure and he's making himself feel better by putting you down. I'd avoid this person. Who needs a friend like that?

Don't worry about being a nerd. Nerds do just fine after high school. Life isn't high school. That's just a few years out of your life which doesn't count for much later. Lots of the best people were nerds in high school They usually end up running things later :-)

Find some friends who appreciate you. Look around school. What clubs or activities could you get into where you'd be appreciated? Journalism? Yearbook? Photographing team sports? School clubs? Keep busy so that you don't dwell on negative stuff and find other kids like you who would appreciate you. Good luck!

Answer 2

He is being hurtful. It would be a rare person that NEVER had a relationship, right? You might not be in a new one every week, but there's nothing wrong with you. Of course you're traumatized... what he said to you was extremely insensitive and hurtful! But you can only be hurt if you allow yourself to be hurt. Sometimes that is a hard thing to see for yourself.

I'm willing to bet that you could use a little help with the self esteem. Nerdy guys end up making all the money, honey and let me tell you... that speaks volumes to women when you get to that point in your life. Not because we're all golddiggers, but because if you're successful, that is something we look for and are attracted to.

Ask your folks to allow you to go to counseling if you feel depressed about this, ok? chin up! You're young and things change so much after you are out of high school and folks mature a bit.

Answer 3

You're fine! You can always ask God to help you ignore those insults and false condemnations. You don't need someone as your "girlfriend" (or boyfriend) to make you somebody. As for why you are so easily affected by words, some people are more than others. And don't worry about the "nerd" thing--it's the stereotype people tend to use when they're afraid of you or can't classify you as anything else. ;]

Answer 4

Dude talk is cheap. 10 to 1 says that your friend(if you can call them that) said that out of jealousy. rely on objective proof, it dosen't lie. Words from ones mouth can always be considered a lie. Also actions speak louder than words

Answer 5

You shouldn't let what one person says affect your self-esteem. Also, if you really want a girlfriend, you should try talking to a wide range of girls to see which ones are the most like you.

Answer 6

Opinions are like @ssholes , everyone has one

Don't allow a statement from someone to control how you feel.

You even said girls like you, just go on....

Answer 7

People that say stuff like that generally are pretty stupid.

Find some way to screw him over. Like write an anonymous note to the principal that he is dealing weed.

You are better than this punk.