Parents, Do/Did you spank your kids? And what age did you stop spanking your kids at? The first time he was 3.

Question

I have two (4yrs&1 1/2 yr old) I've never spanked/hit/diciplined the baby. My 4 yr old thinks he is a Power Ranger and Karate Kicks/slams Doors on/ trips/ the baby all day. I first try time out. What a Joke! He stays, but gets up/cries/etc. I tell him if it happens again, he will get his booty smacked. He then showers me with Love,I love you mommy, your the best & I get hugs & kisses. they are very smart at this age. However, I say OK just be a good big brother! All day , I yell & scream (and he tells me "mommy, please dont scream at me" ) He will start Kindergarden this yr and I don't want to smack him every day, so I am now giving him 2 choices, Be nice or go to bed, If its at nite. He also doenst sit at the table and eat his dinner. (since birth, he was never a big eater, he kinda picks for hours) Now , I tell him sit & eat or go to sleep. And I am sticking to it! Its only been a week, but he came back down yesterday & ate all dinner! When your kids hit,did you hit back?

He goes to school and all the little boys there know the Power Rangers! Listen, he know McDonalds but doesnt eat there. They are on TV, He has gotten gifts with Power Rangers on the clothing/ P.R. Toys.... etc. Parents can't hide everything !

P.S. He doenst "hit" anyone with his hand , he round about kicks, trips, slides into,pushes, bumps into, I want to put him into Karate/Tae Kwan Doe (I know I misspelled it) but I think he is too young and will try when he is 6 yrs old.

Answer 1

yeah hit em back. i know that sounds mean but you cant let em walk round hittin ppl. only spank on butt though that what its there for. you gotta show em whos boss or theyll walk all over you. beleive me ive tried everything and they only respond to pain and know how to avoid it so spanking is the only thing that works well. and i tell mine if you dont eat you aint gettin nuthin else and they may go to bed hungry but they eat extra the next meal . it wont kill them to go without one meal. let your hand speak for you . you dont have to yell. there may come a time when it means life or death for the child to listen to you and do exactly what you say and when you say to do it. like for example if child is riding bike an you see car coming that they dont and your too far away and you tell em Stop he needs to stop right then not ask why or not listen at all. Ever heard the saying this hurts me more than it hurts you when ur parents spanked you? well it is true . i dont like to spank my kids but it really is necessary. all i do is think of that one instance where it could mean life or death for my child and that helps. hope this helps you hun.

Answer 2

Let me start that I have nothing against spanking or those parents that use it correctly in discipline. By correctly, I mean they're not abusing their child or leaving marks.

But, I no longer spank my children. One is 6, the other is 4. When the 6 year old was two, we started using hand swats on the butt for minor infractions and it worked for a time.

But I as a parent have anger management issues and am in counseling for it. On the advice of my counselor, I decided to not using spanking at all as it was too easy of a solution for me. I was too prone to smack instead of trying to help my children learn better behaviors.

Right now, when the kids get into tantrum mode, we simply give them a comfort item and tell them to go to their room until they feel better. When they calm down and come out, we discuss what they did, which rule they broke and the punishment for that.

We also have the punishments listed out where the kids can see. That way, they know ahead of time what misbehavior will get them. Since the four-year-old can't read yet, we have pictures by each infraction, punishment, exemplary behavior and reward. This way, she can tell what they say, too.

Our punishment and reward system is a little interesting, and might be a bit old for your song (our 4 year old occasionally struggles with it). For every good thing they do, they get a certain number of tickets. For every bad thing, they lose a certain number. Then they have to use the tickets to pay for priviledges, such as watching TV, playing on the computer, going to the mountians, renting a movie, McDonalds, etc. This has worked really well with our older daughter, and is working better with the younger daughter as she gets older.

Answer 3

Remember that little boys will grow up to be men, they will grow up to be bigger than you are and you will be looking up at them rather than them looking up at you. So first, when your son hits "you" his mother, you need to try everything except spanking first (taking TV away, toys, time out, etc...) if that doesn't work, then find a "spanking paddle" something that is only used for the purpose of spanking. Never over do it, there is a very thin line between punishment & abuse. Keep in mind with your son's you must let them know:
1. you are the boss and they must respect & mind you.
2. they are NEVER to hit their mother or any other woman EVER. This is where wife beaters come from...they hit on their mother, they saw their father do it, etc...
I would say that you stop spanking your child when you feel that they are at an age where they can be better punished by taking "important" things away. IE..playstations, sleepovers, parties, going out, etc....)

Answer 4

Sounds like you are doing good,except for the cartoons but at that age most boys like to play like that .I do think if he hits the baby that's a very big No No , have you tryed no T.V. or no Fave Toy you will want to use what bothers him most,with out really Hurtinh him but letting know you will not put up with it.You just have mean what you say,and say what you mean and stick too it.

Answer 5

I spank sometimes but I dont know ... my kids havent tried hitting me (yet) Do you have a booster chair that straps on the kitchen chair so you can strap him in time out? Or if he gets out, you gotta make him go back and stay (4 min) even if it takes an hour. You have to be firm and not let him get away with it, even if you dont want to spank you gotta let him know who is boss, takes his toys, whatever it takes, a consequence should happen each and every time he does anything he isnt supposed to. Be consistent, firm and do not give in. he will test you! and you gotta let him know you are not giving in to him, do not yell and scream, that solves nothing,
good luck

Answer 6

It really depends on the child and the parent. I can count on one hand how many times I've spanked my child.

I'm the kind of parent that hates to hear my child cry or see him sad. I have an 8yr old son. I think the first time I disciplined him physically was when he was about 3, I spanked him on his legs (I forgot what he did). I was so timid about it that he didn't even really notice. He gave a delayed reaction and cried about 2 seconds, much too long afterwards for his crying to be related. It was almost as if he was thinking 'wait, she hit me.. I'm supposed to cry' and he snapped into action.

I hit him with a belt for the first time when he was about 5. I only swatted him about 3 times but I cried more than he did. It was clear to me that I did not have it in me to discipline him physically. However, now that he's getting older and getting more independent thought, he'll try to test me every now and again by responding sarcastically when I ask him things or speaking in an obviously disrespectful tone. My son values his time a great deal. So right now, punishing him by taking away the tv and video games, are most effective. Most recently, I punished him by taking away his Wii system, erasing the memory card, and playing the game right in front of him. He HATED that- especially since I made it seem like I was having so much fun.

I'm still a punk. Most of the time, I end up feeling sorry for him if he's sitting in his room looking sad and I'll let him come off punishment much earlier than I told him. I'm very, very fortunate thou. I was blessed with a good kid. He doesn't talk back often. He doesn't get into trouble at school. He doesn't experiment with dangerous things around the house. I very seldom ever have to discipline him at all. We have a very democratic system in our house and respect for each other is a big thing. I try to let him make as many decisions for himself as possible so that he'll recognize how to make good decisions when he gets older.

On another note, you should NEVER let you child hit you. I'm unsure how you can teach him to respect you, if he doesn't already have enough respect to not hit you. My son never hit me even when he was a toddler. I'd probably spank him in that case. I don't feel that spankings teach children that hitting people is the way to get things accomplished, especially if you're abusive. The only thing with spankings, it's sometimes difficult to not go over board if you spank out of anger. Spanking a child when you're angry can turn your spanking abusive. However, if you talk to your children, IN ADDITION to physical discipline, they will understand exactly what they're being disciplined for. Any form of discipline, whether a spanking or time out, is supposed to teach children that there're consequences for your actions. If you can convey that message without having to spank great. But if your children don't respond to time-out or deprivation (where you take their toys away), you don't have any other option unless you're want them to grow up with no respect for anyone or any rules. I've seen children who grow up with no respect for others or any rules, juvie hall is full of them.

Answer 7

I've recently started swatting my son's diaper for things after he does them again and i have already removed him and tried to keep him away from the situation. I only lightly swat the diaper. Usually, it is for hitting one of us.
My bff gives her son timeouts. She said it took MANY times before he finally got what she was doing and it starting being effective. If he gets up, put him back in the timeout and start the time over. Use an actual timer. Take a look at where you are giving the time out. My bff got a special chair that is only used for timeouts. It's just one of those cheap lawn chairs. He walks around it now and won't touch it. lol
As far as the eating goes, I'd hold your ground. Eat what I serve or starve. E ventually, they will learn you are not going to give in and eat. I'd halt any snacking, except for one between lunch and dinner.

Answer 8

I do spank my kids but often find that I don't have to. My 4yo HATES getting spanks. They don’t hurt him physically I just think that they really embarrass him. He’s given a choice – spank or corner. He always picks corner and if he doesn’t behave in the corner THEN he gets a spank and if he’s still not behaving then he gets sent to his room indefinitely.

My 2.5 yo is absolutely devastated about going to the corner so that is usually sufficient and she doesn’t often get a spank even though she is not immune.

You shouldn’t be surprised about seeing results after a week. It has been my experience with my kids that after 3 days of adamantly enforcing a “new” rule, my kids are on board. They really do learn quickly and I know that the things they do bad and continue to do is my own fault because I am not consistent enough in correcting their behaviour.

Answer 9

A tap on the butt isnt going to hurt. And people that say spanking is wrong need to know that just saying "No" doesnt work all of the time, that is why there are so many "out of control" kids and teenagers today, because their parents didnt discipline them! and some can get mad but its the truth and my opinion! We have tapped our girl on the butt or on the hand, but not beat.

Answer 10

First, my son would never hit me. But, I am a firm believer in old-fashioned spankings. I am not saying to beat your child all the time. But show your child who is boss. Dont let him walk all over you. You are not doing him any favors by not spanking him because later in life you will have a real problem. Most kids dont respond to time out or going to their room, because in their room they have all their toys. Thats not a real punishment. Make your son understand that their will be worse consequences than going to his room if he acts out. My little boy is 3 and already knows how not to act and the things he should not do. And if you discipline him stern enough you wont spend all your time screaming at him and you can enjoy him. You might not be his favorite person at first, but he will learn that you will not put up with that type of behavior.