Do guys really not respect you if you sleep with them right away?

Question

what if i don't wanna hold out? what if i just wanna go out to the bar and take someone home with me? Or maybe I did last night and now I just don't know what to think........

note to self: I think that maybe men are like buses.....a new one comes every 15 minutes. I'm not looking really for respect, its just curiosity I guess, how do guys feel about one night stands?

Answer 1

Please! As if you can put all men into one big category and make a meaningful statement that applies to all of them. Some will respect you and others will not. Sexual relationship dynamics isn't a cookie-cutter process; it's as unique as the individuals in a given situation.

Maybe another way of looking at this is whether YOU will still respect someone after you've taken them to bed having known them all of ten minutes! Maybe you should ask whether you even respected them before the fact.

Look, I'm not trying to say anything about you based upon whether you take someone to bed or not and whether you've known them for ten minutes or for ten years. What I am saying is to examine yourself and determine what your expections are and whether they are realistic and in line with what you can reasonably expect from getting physically intimate with a stranger.

If you're just in it for the sexual gratification, fine, but do your prospective partner the courtesy of letting him or her know that's all it is--although IMO that's all anyone could reasonably expect from those circumstances!

If you're expecting more, well, good luck. You're spinning the "Wheel of Fortune"--you might get the bonus prize or you might go bankrupt. I see no problem with enjoying the game for the game's sake as long as its played fairly by all players and you can accept that you may win or you may lose.

Answer 2

Question one: Do guys really not respect you......

Unfortunately, the answer is usually yes, the do not respect you if you sleep with them right away. The do have a tendency to treat the relationship as more of a fling than a serious commitment.

Question two: What if I don't wanna hold out? What if I just wanna go out to the bar and take someone home with me...

If that is all you are looking for then respect is not an issue. Respect really only matters in a long-term relationship and not in a one-night-stand. Of course, it also implies you don't respect yourself very much which is a much larger issue.

Question three (which is probably what you are really asking..) Or maybe I did that last night and now I just don't know what to think...

Okay, here is the meat of the issue. You did something and now you are questioning if it is the right thing. No matter how you feel about it - you can't change it and you can't take it back. But what you have is an opportunity to learn and make good choices in the future. How do you feel? Your question implies that maybe you don't feel good about the choices you made. If that is the case, then the next time you are in this situation you will remember this and consider that when making your choice.

In this day and age casual sex isn't the horrible crime that it used to seem to be. But that doesn't make it any less emotional and any less confusing.

I wish I had learned how damaging this stuff is emotionally long before I became sexually active. I would have saved myself a lot of heartache if I had been a little more patient and I respected myself more. I didn't learn to respect myself until I started making healthier decisions when it came to dating.

What you are feeling is normal. In fact, tons of girls have experienced the motions you are experiencing now.

I wish you the best.

Answer 3

Well if you take someone home from a bar that way then it is most likely going to be a one night stand. At the earliest I would say wait until the 2nd date. Maybe he is different though.........some times sex is just sex. If you want more hold out.

Answer 4

Respect is not necessarily tied to sex so it really doesn't matter when or how soon you have sex with a guy. Newt Gingrich was married, twice, and cheated on both of his wives. Monica Lewinsky was bobbin' for apples in the White House getting her thirst for self esteem filled but she wasn't getting no respect because that wasn't what she wanted...

Answer 5

no..they dont respect u. I wouldnt either. It makes u look like a sl*t/easy. No guy wants a relationship with a women they slept with the first time they met. Do u think they want to bring a girl like that home?

Answer 6

I think most men prefer or enjoy someone who will not give it away too quickly. we like a "challenge" but only if we want a serious relationship. If we just want to have fun well really who cares you know. Specially young men they are not ready for committment so they will practically do anyone who is willing go give it up. Older man will hit it up too. But they wont take you seriously and to them you will just be a slu*. and if you are just giving it up well give me a call.

Answer 7

most guys will just take advantage of a girl like you. all they'll do is go get themselves some and thats it. dont be so easy with someone you dont know. if your horny get wit someone you trust and know its just sex and no commitment. if you cant then talk to me ill break you off.

Answer 8

who cares what the guy thinks it's 2007 and women can dispose of men and have one stands as much as they want!

Answer 9

not necessarly depends everyones different but
no one wants to buy the cow if your giving out the milk for free

Answer 10

Of course they don't respect you. Did he call? See.