This is my Fiancees' first marriage and my Second one, but my parents never paid for the first wedding, so does this still fall on there shoulders? I have thought about paying out of "my" own pocket for the wedding but I keep wondering who really is the person responsiable? Either way it goes I don't plan on a large wedding, but I want it to be beautiful since my first one was a horable mess and this is my fiancees' first ( hopefully last) time at the alter!
2007-03-23 06:27:37 · 15 answers · asked by brandy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well our wedding is going to be very small, in my family only my mother and two brothers, my sister inlaw, and my 2 nephews, and my 2 nices, and there children and mates will be there. there is the possiablity that an uncle or aunt may make an apperence. maybe 15 people on my side will be at the wedding, i really dont know if that many sice they dont believe in attending second marriages, but this is his first wedding, and I want this to be extra special since He is my True Love! Now by costs we dont expect things to be more than $5,000 dollars, Things arnt that expensive, heck my first wedding cost less than $300 , my ex paid for the preacher ($50.00), and his Mom paid for the help your self buffet (100.00), the cake was a present from my aunt($0.00), and I bought my own wedding dress($99.00), and we split the cost of the license($30.00 total).
2007-03-23 07:15:33 · update #1
Technically, since this is your second marriage, your parents aren't obligated to pay for it - but it would be nice of them to help with the costs, especially if they didn't contribute to the first one. Tradition is that the bride's parents foot the bill for the wedding and the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner. If that's not realistically possible, the couple being married are responsible for the costs.
2007-03-23 06:36:14 · answer #1 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
"Traditionally," (and I use quotes) the bride's family pays for the wedding. However, being that people are getting married later, and as weddings get more costly, things have really changed on that front. For example, if the people have been living independently from their parents for a decade, or if the members of the new couple actually make more than their parents do, it isn't just a given that her parents will (or even should) hand over $35,000 to pay for a wedding. Furthermore, if for example she is a 27 year old medical student in debt, and he is a 30 year old lawyer making $150,000 a year, it doesn't necessarily make sense for her to fund a wedding.
I think nowadays this really depends on the personal circumstances of the bride, groom, and their families. My suggestion would be to sit down with your fiance and discuss the various options, and what the potential outcomes would be for those options. e.g Maybe each of your parents can pay for something. Financial stress around a wedding really can take a lot of the pleasure away, so it's good to be novel in terms of financing, and not necessarily go for the "traditional" albeit unreasonable route.
2007-03-23 06:51:11 · answer #2 · answered by Eva P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget what all the etiquette books say about who should pay for what. Those are rules that were established many years ago when times were different. Today the responsibility of paying for the wedding falls on whoever has the money. Its as easy as that. You really should not expect your parents to pay for your second wedding. what's the reason they didn't pay for your first wedding? I would guess those same reasons apply here too.
My brother is getting married next month and let me tell you all the arguments that occured over the financial arrangements. My family offered to pay for half of it thinking the bride's side would offer to pay the other half. Instead her side found every reason in the book not to pay up and that's when the arguments began. My brother, who finally became disgusted at all the fighting, said he was going to pay for the entire wedding. Case closed.
2007-03-23 06:39:30 · answer #3 · answered by Kimmy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is the responsibilty of the 2 people getting married to pay for the wedding. If you are lucky enough to have help from either the Bride or Grooms family than consider yourself lucky.
My fiance and are are pretty much paying for all of our wedding ourselves.
2007-03-23 06:49:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personally think that the whole thing about the parents paying for the whole wedding is OUTRAGEOUS! Sure they can help with some things, but to EXPECT them to pay for the whole thing is insane. YOU decided to get married so YOU and YOUR FIANCE should pay for the wedding. Specially if this is your second marriage.
2007-03-23 07:15:18 · answer #5 · answered by MariChelita 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest talking to both sets of parents and letting them know that you and your fiance are going to be paying for your wedding, but if they would like to help you out financially, you would appreciate it. That way no one feels obligated to pay for anything and it's not putting the pressure on your parents since you already had a wedding (regardless of who paid for it). You could also talk to your parents and see what their feelings are. They may be more than happy to pay for it since they didn't get to the first time around. Good luck!
2007-03-23 06:35:59 · answer #6 · answered by jennyss 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You two pay for your OWN wedding. Parents used to pay in the olden days, when they were having the girl leave their home. But these days, women are out there working, so pay for their own with their guy. Especially since this is your second....
2007-03-24 00:43:10 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of what tradition or anyone else says, unless your parents WANT to pay for your wedding, they don't have to. You are responsible for yourselves as a couple.
In our case, my fiance is paying for most of the wedding and his parents are paying for the reception. My mother doesn't have anything financially to offer, so they are pitching in. While this is very nice, nither my mom nor they are responsible. Ultimately, I guess my answer is that you are responsible.
2007-03-23 08:06:43 · answer #8 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first wedding is the bride's family. Except for the rehearsal dinner which the groom's family pays for. The second wedding for the bride she pays for.
2007-03-23 06:33:05 · answer #9 · answered by speranzacampbell 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just pay for your own. I don't think it's a parent's responsibility even if they can afford it. I get sick to my stomach of these selfish little girls expecting their parents to pay astronomical amounts for something that lasts a few hours and the marriage may only last a few years. Etiquette be damned, keep it within what you can afford. Not what someone else wants.
2007-03-23 06:40:20 · answer #10 · answered by Scoots 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋