I'm working on a project with a woman that is 15 yrs older than me and married. We work in an office environment,so we're always close to one-another. She keeps dropping sexual innuendo in our conversation and finding ways to be alone with me. I'm in no way shy,but I'm just not interested in this woman !
I've asked about this before on YA, and since its gotten worse.I need her for what she knows and she knows that! I've hinted that I'm dating and tell a little about my weekend; she still persists.
Its got me mad now,should I sabotage the project after 2 months of input? Another thought was to shag her, and give her the worst sex she's ever had ! (this could have a very negative repercussion though).
Others in the office have noticed her (not so subtle now) innuendo as well. I've been taunted a few times already, so they know now too.
She dropped her pen under a table at conference, and when I went to get it for her she let me know she wears stockings not pantyhose.Just 1 example
2007-03-23 06:21:39 · 14 answers · asked by frith25 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
OMG, grow some balls and tell her you're not interested in her that way. Tell her that you BOTH need to concentrate on this project and that her inuendos are unprofessional. Before you say anything though you should speak to someone in Human Resources. If you reject her she could easily turn around and tell them that you are sexually harassing her at which point it will be too late for you to say something to them and it will only look like you're crying wolf so you don't look guilty. They will probably take it from there anyway so that you don't have to say anything to her.
2007-03-23 10:30:19 · answer #1 · answered by Vivita 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Obviously she feels some kind of attraction to you, or she wouldn't keep coming on. Just as obvious is the fact that you have done little to dissuade her if she keeps doing it. I have been in your shoes before, and had no problem letting someone know that I'm in a very good relationship and wouldn't do anything to jeopardize it. Be honest with her. Try being humorous with her when you feel that awkwardness around her.
Example: She leans right in your face with that push up bra.
You say, "my goodness, if those were any closer, I could go skiing, don't think my girlfriend would like that though".
When she wants to talk about personal stuff, say things like, "I would never cheat on my girlfriend, because the one thing we both believe in is trust". Hormone driven people like this sometimes have to be dealt with bluntly, first see if you can let her down without being brutal. Wise old saying, "Don't dip your pen in the company ink".
2007-03-23 09:13:52 · answer #2 · answered by Lance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her behavior is bordering on sexual harrasment.
Telling her you aren't interested in her in that way gives her an out. She can claim that is not what she meant by her comment and turn this on you so be careful how you tell her to stop.
Tell her that her comments are inappropriate and are making you uncomfortable. When she makes a comment of a sexual nature in front of others is the perfect time to do this as you have witnesses to the harrassment and your request to not be talked to in that fashion.
If after you tell her the above she doesn't stop report her to human resouces.
And for god's sake don't sleep with her, that could make a bad situation even worse.
2007-03-23 09:07:01 · answer #3 · answered by ajtheactress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, so is she someone whom you work under? This has to be handled right. Are you in a long term relationship? Or just dating someone?
If she is your equal, you need to try telling her flat right out. "I am not interested in a coworker that way. " If it persists, tell her that you are not beyond loding a sexual harassment complaint against her. I dont know if you really want to do this though. Especially as a man this is still a very unfair one way street in most places.
Perhaps you have to stop being nice, and say stuff like, My mother has that skirt, or those shoes, or she gets rid of her wrinkles with this cream from ... wherever. How about "You reimind me of my grandmother...its your perfume... no, no its very nice, I have nice memories of the old girl...." Let her know that you are only interested in things that are young and supple,and not quite so desperate.....and old, and coworkery....
Good luck fella.
2007-03-23 07:44:14 · answer #4 · answered by Sionainn 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Shagging her is a bad choice and shouldn't even be thought about. Talk to this woman as an adult, tell her you don't want to hurt her feelings but your simply not interested in her in sexual terms. I would also bring up if it continues after this talk you will consider it sexual harassment. She should get the msg after that.
2007-03-23 07:01:13 · answer #5 · answered by Mugleedone 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you've got to consider three things. First, is she pretty enough to at least make sex comfortable? Second, is she clean? I mean you can use a condom just to be safe, but if I were you I won't take any chances of getting infected either. And lastly, are you sure that if you shag her really bad she would stop her hitting on you? I mean there are a lot of crazy chicks out there who want more than just a one time bang with their boytoy.
Now after careful consideration of all of these things and you think that shagging her is the best option that you've got then go ahead and shag her.
Goodluck dude!
2007-03-23 06:37:26 · answer #6 · answered by Rowdy Andy 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Oh wow! I envy you. You got it made. You got free sex on the side with a sexually-repressed and experienced woman. If she's not too gross, go for it. Can you imagine? Stay late in the office to work on the project just 2 of you, pinning her on her back on the desk and pumping her hard. When done, you 2 just get back to work and when horny again .... you know what i mean. Just watch your back for her husband, who might walk up with something, or your gf might walk in on you 2. You'd be so busted.
2007-03-23 08:29:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
WOW, sounds like her husband isn't doing his job!!!
You poor thing... I suggest you hold it in till- the project is finished and after that you can do whatever you need to do to get her to understand that...
GOOD LUCK
2007-03-23 16:47:41 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont drop the project!!!!!!! try 2 find another partner. bad sex=bad reputation. dont do it. bring ur girlfriend(or a friend who can act) 2 work and act very lovey-dovey around her. she will soon give up interest. hopefully.
2007-03-23 06:33:20 · answer #9 · answered by Flutie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dude if shes gross then let her know its not gonna happen say. You know 'chick's name' I think your're cool and like working with you, but i ain't gonna rip your clothes off of you and bump uglies. I don't get involved in any kind of anything in the workplace, or with anyone i work with. I've always stuck to my DO NOT do anything with ANYONE at the workplace. I have had opportunity, and temptation, but at the days end, it's not worth it.
2007-03-23 06:33:22 · answer #10 · answered by Yutow 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋