My life is a mess. I'm locked in a marriage that is unhealthy but I cannot afford to leave financially. I'm stuck in a job that I hate. My house got foreclosed on. My car was repo'd. And I have bad credit due to a previous divorce and some resolved legal problems. I've prayed, cried, tried talking to people but I don't know what to do. My family is no help due to infighting after my mother's passing. (None of us talk to the other.) All I know is I have to do something before I lose my mind.
2007-03-23 06:21:09 · 11 answers · asked by William H 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
YOu've identified a couple of problems, and now, you need to brainstorm some solutions. It's time to start focusing on the solutions and not the problems. praying, crying, and talking are all part of it, but now you need to set little goals (to lead up to a big goal) and just DO IT.
List all your problems again and rate them on a scale of importance in working on - immediate to later kind of thing. then we'll figure out where to start
contact me via messenger or E-mail if you want more
Take care!!
2007-03-23 06:34:05 · answer #1 · answered by jennainhiding 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Start with the job. It's probably the only thing you have that is just yours. Check out the Internet. Every casino has job openings (I'm assuming you live in Vegas). What is it you hate about your job? Pick something similar but without the negative aspects. Try to get a management position in your field! It's will boost your confidence just applying!
Spend some time away from your wife. Don't get a divorce! Just hang out alone for a little while. You'll start to think of all the good things about your relationship and why you fell in love with her in the first place.
Given the situation you may just be really depressed. If that's the case, no matter what is wrong it will seem a hell of a lot worse. Consider asking a doctor if you need a prescription for anxiety.
If your debt and credit are already in bad shape, you may be better off claiming bankruptcy and starting over. Good Luck. I know it's hard.
2007-03-23 13:36:46 · answer #2 · answered by Cherry Darling 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here are some ideas that might help...
1. Do you have a pastor or other person of faith to talk with? Maybe that person could help.
2. Do you have any income that will support a visit to a financial planner? Before you make any major life changes, it would probably help to have a plan to get out of debt.
3. Is anyone in your family remotely responsive if you contact them? Maybe a small meeting (with no assumptions for making peace) might help you reach out to one another.
4. Will your spouse agree to marriage counseling?
5. Can you spend a small amount of time each week writing a resume and sending it to job openings that you might like better than the job you have? Just ask in your application that they don't contact your current supervisor until they've contacted you first (most will understand).
Best wishes.
2007-03-23 13:27:29 · answer #3 · answered by sci55 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can whip this. Really, you can. We did. First make yourself a doctor's appointment and get checked out for depression. My husband lost his job and several other things fell apart on us and he started having heart attack symptoms. The doctor ran him on a tread mill for 20 minutes to get his heart rate up enough to check it. There was nothing wrong with his heart, he was depressed. The second day he took Zoloft, he was able to function again and the chest pains disappeared. 60 days later he was back off it and doing fine. Occasionally he needs it for short periods.
But until you get to a doctor find something positive to do for someone else. Do simple home repairs for an elderly person. Volunteer to read to kids at a local school. Join the youth group staff. Start a walking group - exercises is always good! Volunteer a couple hours a week at a homeless shelter. Join Big Brothers/Big Sisters. Offer to council at a crisis pregnancy center. There's a lot of young fathers coming in to some of these centers trying to deal with being a daddy or worse trying to deal with killing their child through paying for an abortion. Offer to teach adult literacy. Use your life experiences to help someone else. You'll be surprised how much good it'll do you - you may never need that Zoloft.
2007-03-23 13:32:10 · answer #4 · answered by SLA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We are all responsible for our own lives..there is no one to blame but ourselves for being in whatever state we are in.
This realized we can begin to heal and peck away at prob. 1 by 1 through taking responsibility and realizing what got us in the mess it the first place. with out placing blame on others. There are financial advisors who work with your creditors to lower payments you can afford . You may not like it but at least you have a job.....Appreciate the blessing. No One is ever Locked
into a marriage cause they cant afford $ to leave. You can leave and leave it all behind and start fresh. Either fix
it with counceling or end it and get on with life. Since you dont talk to your family (probably over inheritance) I'd give serious consideration about the issues you seem to have with finances and money, so you stop this cycle.
2007-03-23 14:49:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can afford to end the marriage. It can be done very cheaply.
YOu can find another job and leave the one you hate.
YOu just have to do it. Once you do one thing the others will be easier.
YOu are just stuck down in the dumps and need to pull yourself up with all your might and take care of a couple things. Do it! IT won't kill you, but it will setyou on the road to once again being free and happy!
2007-03-23 13:30:06 · answer #6 · answered by Carp 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get a goal. Save money a little at a time behind your spouse's back. meanwhile, give your marriage a shot. Try to fall back in love. If that works, take the money to go on a fabulous vacation. If it doesn't take it and run. Either way, MAKE GOALS. Something to look forward to always keeps me going...
2007-03-23 13:35:55 · answer #7 · answered by agkwatson@sbcglobal.net 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
all you can do is fix yourself
"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."
2007-03-23 13:29:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
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God Bless~~
2007-03-23 13:58:55 · answer #9 · answered by Elias 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
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2007-03-23 19:55:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋