I have a wicked crush on a teacher at my job. I work in the main office and he's the auto shop teacher. We have worked together for over 3 years and I've always been somewhat attracted to him. In the last few months we have grown a little closer. Talking more and getting to know one another. Well lately we have been innocently flirting, but I'm not 100% sure that's what he's doing. I know it's what I'm doing, but I can't quite tell if he's into me the way I want him to be. Neither of us are married nor do we have children. I'm 30 and he's 45. I don't even care about the age difference. His mom just passed away last week, and my mom died 7 years ago. I feel like we now have something in common and I can't help but want to use that to my advantage. Advice????
2007-03-23 06:13:52 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
crushes are for everyone! and they just happen, with teachers, w/e!
2007-03-23 06:16:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't quite see how what you are feeling is wrong. I'm sorry about his, and your, mom. I can't imagine losing my mother. At this time, I seriously doubt he's in the mood for a relationship. But given the fact that you can totally relate to what he's going through, this whole thing will make you closer. You can help him out. And when all this is done, you will defintely have a friend. However, if he doesn't make a move after a few months, I would say the interest is not reciprocated.
Often, flirting doesn't really mean anything, btw. It always means there is somewhat of an attraction, but for many people it doesn't actually indicate an interest.
2007-03-23 06:22:55 · answer #2 · answered by LSD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's certainly not wrong how you are feeling. Naturally you have grown close to him through working and chatting with him. It may be hard at the moment to see if he is attracted to you because he will be grieving. Just keep being a good friend to him and always listen to him if he needs to talk. If it's meant to happen then it will. The best relationships develop out of a good friendship for a long time. Keep being sweet and kind and giving off light flirting signals and hopefully he will notice you. This is a great test for both of you to see if you are a supportive person who can be there through the good times and the bad. Stick around for him for a while.
2007-03-23 06:21:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think how you are feeling is wrong, but I also think you shouldn't use his mother dying as a tool to get with him, he probably wouldn't appreciate it to say the least. On the other hand you're right, you do have something in common... tell him you have been through the same thing and offer your support.
However, I'm sure you could find something a little less upsetting in common with him.
What is meant to be will be...
Good luck, hope it all goes well!
2007-03-23 06:31:36 · answer #4 · answered by kel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh for goodness sake, life's too short to waste time regretting, and you will regret it if you let him get away. Do you want to be an old woman looking back on your life and thinking 'If Only.....'? Suggest you go out somewhere to have fun, something active as you sound nervous and the whole dinner date thing is too pressurised, all that looking over the table centrepiece trying to think of something to say. If he's trying to stop you falling over at an ice rink, you've got an excuse for physical contact, y'know hand around your waist....you get it, right? I'm very good at bowling, but when i claim not to know how, it's never failed to bring a man in close contact as he 'instructs' me.
Don't let fear stop you from possibly having the best relationship of your life. And if it all falls flat, it will hurt for a while, but then you can turn your attention to a better prospect. Go for it, girl!
2007-03-23 06:44:46 · answer #5 · answered by Heralda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have a crush on him now, but what happens if you act on this, have a relationship and it doesn't work out? How comfortable are you going to be going back to work and seeing him on a regular basis. You might want to think about dating anyone from your workplace. Remember, you may be about to have a moment of happiness, but it could come with a price. If you willing to accept that price, go for it!
Also, if the death of his mother has just now given you something in common, it does sound like a crush. Crushes rarely turn out to be more than that. Not to say that they don't hurt any less. If they didn't hurt, they couldn't be called crushes.
2007-03-23 06:23:22 · answer #6 · answered by Linda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel something for this person, you should tell them. I mean, it never gets easy trying to reveal your feeling for another person, no matter how old or young you are. You seem like you have a very close relationship with this person, try asking him out for a friendly early dinner after school one day. That way you are in a different environment with him, and you can see how yall respond to each other outside of the work place. Good luck and I hope this works for you, if you choose to do it.
2007-03-23 06:20:53 · answer #7 · answered by hapigrl85 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure how you need to say it or when you need to say it... but if you're feeling bad or scared to tell him now...... then imagine how you really would feel if you could never tell him because of something tragic.... maybe you could start out saying that you appreciate the time you have spent together and that you have been having an interest in him during the relationship..... let him know that you just wanted to say it ..... even if he says he's not interested, he'll be thinking about it... good luck to ya
2007-03-23 06:23:43 · answer #8 · answered by rosepassions 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Using his Mothers death as a way of getting closer to him is not taking advantage as long as you do it the right way. You have to be there for him as a friend so there has to be boundaries, for now.
All you are doing is helping him because you know what he is going through, there is nothing wrong with that.
Just be there for him as a friend and don't pressure him into being more than that, he will soon see you differently and he will be the one flirting with you.
Good luck xxx
2007-03-23 06:45:26 · answer #9 · answered by anastacia500 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep talking to him! Ask to go out and do something sometime, something casual. If not, no harm, right? You'll still keep talking...If so, that's great! I wouldn't bring up your mothers' deaths though...I'm sure you can find other things in common. Movies, music, travel...? Nothing wrong with having feelings for someone, nothing strange about your situation. Oh yes, do keep work and a relationship separated.
2007-03-23 06:18:53 · answer #10 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely have something to talk about with him. Not so sure I would call it "taking advantage" of his Mom dying, but it is definietly something you can help him through. I don't see a problem with the age thing. Just be there for him and maybe it will turn into something else.
2007-03-23 06:17:52 · answer #11 · answered by AmandaHugandKiss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋