Would you forgive someone who killed your child?

Question

I can't get over the fact that my ex had an abortion behind my back. It's been 5 months since and she wants me back. I have forgiven her but I can't see myself even looking at her the same. How would you handle it?

Answer 1

Yes. The doctrine of forgiveness makes no exceptions. Without unconditional forgiveness there can be no gospel. If a person is not willing to let go of anything, including family, then he is not worthy of Christ. The circumstances behind letting go are irrelevant. What is relevant is letting go. The Father let go of his Son, so that his Son could let go of his life in order to die for our sins. Likewise, we must let go of everything in order to become like Christ.

Answer 2

Initially reading the question, I would respond with a resounding "No"! Then I read the details, and the question really is more complicated. That is probably very difficult to deal with. I actually have a friend that did this and til this day the guy doesn't know. I didn't know until much later, and she knows how wrong I think that was to do. However, imagine how difficult that must have been for the girl mentioned. Perhaps she was scared of how you would react. It was a horrible decision, and for many people an unforgivable one. You just have to decide if it's worth sacrificing a potentiall wonderful relationship (if it is one). If you do decide to give her a second chance, the first and most important thing you need to discuss is what will happen in the future if the situation (pregnancy) ever comes up again. I wish the best of luck in dealing with this issue. I imagine it is probably very heart-wrenching for you. Hope for the best!

Answer 3

I don't think anybody can truthfully say what they would do in a situation like that. It's not the same thing thinking about a reaction to a situation than actually reacting to a present situation.If justice has been served, as the poster said above, and you get over the murder then it is very possible.But, it takes a lot of heart and guts to completely forgive a person for such an act.You may forgive but not forget.It depends on the person, some people are capable of doing that some others are not.I think all possibilities are open for me. I believe that in order to move on, you must at some point forgive the person. Not for them but your own sake.

Answer 4

My head and heart both say no. I guess it would depend alot on my child being purposely killed or an accident. Either way, it would never bring my child back. It would be more forgiving if it was accidental. Although if I did forgive, I would still hold a grudge deep down inside. Maybe that's not forgiveness...How do you forgive someone that has taken away such a precious life? That's a hard question to give a direct answer to.

Answer 5

I'm indeed sorry for your loss & I'd advise against letting this person back into your life, especially right now. I've never had children, so I can't approach this issue from that standpoint, but I'll tell you this: My husband passed away in June of 2005, in part--I believe--D/T the negligence of a particular nurse--it hasn't been easy, but I've forgiven her for my own spiritual health. I haven't forgotten it & doubt I ever will, but as a Christian I try to be as Christ-like as I can, no matter the situation & He did say to forgive. In my experience, it takes faith, determination & prayer, but it can be done. I pray you find the peace you seek.

Answer 6

I think it would be EXTREMELY difficult to forgive anyone who took the life of my child, but I would pray that God would lead me to that forgiveness. After all, holding onto angry, vengeful thoughts only hurts the person who refuses to forgive.

I think you have touched on something very important--abortion kills baby and hurts women AND men. You may want to seek a support group of men who have suffered the same injustice. It may help you work through some of your anger and aid you in recovering from your grief. You may even find some good advice on moving towards forgiveness.

As hurt and angry as you feel, please try to show your ex some compassion. Abortion is extremely traumatic for most women--more than they ever expect it to be. She needs your support and your prayers, not your anger.

Godspeed.

Answer 7

I try to be rational, even when loved ones are involved. To answer your question, it would really depend on the circumstances.

If it was truly and accident, I probably could but if it was some dumb *** stunt or outright murder I doubt that I could ever find it in me to forgive.

After reading your details I think your situation fits into the "murder" category. I don't believe I could ever reunite after something like that.

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you can find some peace. The only positive thing, your hand was not that of an executioner. Look for the strength to go on, it is in you...

Answer 8

I have been in your position.

I am a member of the LDS church and I consulted my bishop.

We have the right to be mad he said but we eventually have to forgive because if we do not it will eat us up inside making us not carry a good spirit and allow the adversary ways into our lives.

You dont have to be with her but you will have to forgive her..

If you forgive her she will be very humbled by your decision and love you deeper.

If you are married you probably should forgive her to work it out and if there are kids and or extenuating situations you should definitly work it out because children should not suffer for are sin.

Did you ask her why she did it? Does the decision invovle your behavior? 'Maybe she was scared.

These are the ?'s I had to ask myself.

If you need further reference I would check out www.lds.org

I testify that there are blessings and self confidence that comes from forgiveness.

Good luck

Answer 9

God did.

Are you a good person? What a question, most of us believe that we are good people because we can look around and find someone that is far worse than we are. We can always point to the things that we think make us a good person.

But how good are we really? Dare we take this test and look at ourselves and see if we really are good? Hmmm.

If you are willing try this and see just how good a person you are.

The Good Person Test.

How will you do? Pass or fail?


Have you ever told a lie?
Doesn't matter how big or small, just a lie.
What does that make you? Before answering think about this, if I told you a lie what would you call me? A liar?

Have you ever stolen anything? Cost doesn't matter, a piece of gum, failed to give back an ink pen that you borrowed, anything.
What does that make you?

Jesus said, "You know the saying of old, you shall not commit adultery but I say that if look at someone to lust after them you have committed adultery in your heart.
Have you ever lusted?

Jesus said that hate is equal to murder.
Have you ever hated anyone?

See one day we all are going to stand before a Holy God on Judgment Day and he is going to judge us based on His Holy Law, the Ten Commandments. These are just 4 of them and how did you do? Guilty? I have broken all of these and more, what about you? How well will you do on Judgment Day?

If we break just one point of God's Law we are guilty of breaking all the law and Gods Wrath abides upon us all. Based on God's Law we are all guilty and all are deserving of punishment. But there is an out for us.

Jesus paid the price for each one of us, took on himself God's Wrath so we wouldn't have to face it on our own. Jesus was beaten, battered, bleed and died so we wouldn't have to face God's Wrath. He rose again so that we would life in his presence. Our crimes, His payment.

The real question is where will you stand on Judgment Day. Pay yourself or have it paid for you. Think about it.

Answer 10

i don't know. i guess it all depends on the situation. if the person who killed my child was in an accident, had a heart attack. or something that really proves was not done with the intention of killing then probably "maybe" i would forgive. but if it happens to be some crazy f^ker who just did with no reason, i don't care I kill that bastard.