My mom left me and famiy a month ago and i still try to deal with it. Then my mom comes by and decides to take half our stuff. She says she just needs her space; but she rented an apartment. Ever since this happened i have been filled with such anger. I realy try to let it go. I will go outside for hours on end and literaly look at the clouds, but even then i still caint find comfort. Every time I see her i literaly want to just KILL something. And she only makes it worse; I have 2 beautiful niece's in the world and when mom left us they were my only joy; but just a week ago when they came over I just didnt feal the same. My mom was the one who brought them over and kept threatening to take them to her apartment and i wouldent see them. Every time i picture her face I feal so angry my freinds worry about me. The worst part is that nobody knows. I caint and wont say anything to my mom because i was raised to respect others unless they disrespect you,...what do i do?! please help me....
2007-03-23 05:17:25 · 9 answers · asked by Patrick D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
"the only way to live a good life is to act on your emotions"
2007-03-23 05:22:41 · update #1
"the only way to live a good life is to act on your emotions"
2007-03-23 05:23:28 · update #2
You have every right to feel angry.
Can you talk to someone else in your family, whom you trust?
Perhaps if you expressed your feelings to someone, you would feel better. Do you have a father there? Or a grandparent? Seek someone you feel has some common sense and cares.
Your mother seems to be quite angry herself.... you can tell her you are angry with her right now, that is expressing your feelings, and not disrespectful.
You don't have to have a fight or argument with her, just tell her... and if she gets angry, you don't have to react or respond.
I wish i could say more to help.
take care of YOU... find someone to talk with.. maybe a therapist if nothing else? hugz
2007-03-23 05:36:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother left us many years ago, and tried to stay in touch, but many of us were very hurt to want to continue to be in contact. I know this is not what you want to hear, but a month is too soon to let go of the anger, or to sit down and discuss this calmly with her, the injury is just to fresh. It is not however to early to start doing something for yourself, some people have posted a lot of valuable suggestions, like yoga or ti chi, or counseling, and I strongly recommend the counseling.
After years of being gone, I moved with my mother, and we worked things out, and I remember that year and a half as one of the best years in my life. My mother came back after a while, and then she passed away nearly a year ago. I started going to therapy to deal with her loss, and guess what... You have no idea how much crap we can store for years and years and not even know. In therapy, I barely deal with the loss in itself, as I am very hurt by her leaving us years ago in the first place. Somethings we don't know, and yet they affect us in ways we cannot comprehend, such as a low performance in school or job, or the inability to keep relationships due to fear of being abandoned again.
You need some time, first of all, and do try the suggestions posted above, and in time, you might understand why she left in the first place, and even discuss this in peaceful terms when the moods are not so explosive.
Good luck, and I wish you the best.
2007-03-23 12:49:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that it sounds painful hearing this from someone that you dont even know but it really sounds like she is a *****. Yea she might just be taking some time off, but I highly doubt it. I'm so sorry. You say you have 2 beautiful neices, just be the best Uncle that you can be. Dont worry about anything or anyone. You love your neices obviously and they love you, they dont want to see you hurt. Just hang out with them, talk to them, play with them, do anything that you can do just to be there for them.
Good Luck and if you ever want to talk to me I'm always here my mother did the same thing, but I'm an only child so I never had anyone to talk to
SassyBCute91@yahoo.com
Courtney
2007-03-23 15:07:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a crappy mother so did I. And for years I spent all my time being angry with her. It ruined a lot of good relationships I had at the time which years later I am still trying to repair. These feelings of anger and rage are completely normal. I had many of the feelings you described. You need to find a way to deal with this rage that is safe. You don't want it to go out on the people you care about you. Exercise is one of the best ways to get out aggression without hurting anyone. Running, walking, kickboxing, whatever you're into.
I would recommend praying. Just talking it out with God he will listen and hopefully give you the strength to deal with your anger and pain. He may not give it right away, but keep talking it out with yourself and God. He may give some perspecitve.
Don't try and fix your mom. She is a wreck and until she makes her mind not be a total piece of crap, SHE WILL NOT CHANGE. This isn't your fault and so you can't fix this for her. Who primarily takes care of your nieces? Where are their parents? Talk to them and let them know of the situation.
And then ditch the witch and move on. Try to always have a trusted friend or family member or counselor ready to help you deal with this (they can help you). You are going to have to let go of her and try to get your anger out and forgive her. Forgiving seems stupid, but it's so important after you have vented your anger and hurt. Forgiving doesn't excuse her behavior by any means and it doesn't mean that you just let your mom do whatever she pleases to you. It means you try (work very hard) at not constantly reminding her of what she did wrong and not letting that burning desire to beat her to a bloody pulp consume you.
That will finally help heal your painful wounds and let you move and enjoy life. Don't hold onto anger for too long. It will hurt you more than help you in the end. Good luck and God Bless!
2007-03-23 13:06:07 · answer #4 · answered by amanda w 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know anger from my past and my mother. But, I realized through time, I can not change my mother, only myself. As for the anger, just breathe! Try yoga, Ti Chi or a self defense class ...seriously it helps alot.
I would recommend a counselor as well. I went through 15 years of counseling on my own without my families knowledge or consent. I had to make me better so I wouldn't end up like them.
But, first and foremost, you have to understand you can not control people or how you feel. YOu can only control your actions on how you act upon those feelings. Next time you want to get angry,,,,stop, close your eyes and breathe deeply.
2007-03-23 12:24:05 · answer #5 · answered by Tammy T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
here is my advice to you . you need to learn to let go and see with your eyes not with your heart. i know it will be tough since you said that your mother bailed.. don't be angry it is nothing you did and you didn't cause any of it .. It is not your fault. next time you see your mom tell her you miss her. and maybe you will feel somewhat better.. don't be angry don't let your emotions over power you ok.. Good luck DUDE..
2007-03-23 12:22:32 · answer #6 · answered by Da Q 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to your mother, maybe she has many big problems you can't realize or understand, and give excuses or think about excuses for what she does
2007-03-23 12:24:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is obviously a worthless whore and should be treated as such. I would recommend you disown her.
2007-03-23 12:20:54 · answer #8 · answered by Grampa 3 · 0⤊ 4⤋
you should try to tell your mom
make her to listen
2007-03-23 12:26:46 · answer #9 · answered by lil_rebel12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋