ok now do i send invitations to people who are already in the wedding (bridesmaids, matron, bestman, ECT), also is it inapporaite to do the cooking myself with the help of others and keep them on those warmers does that seem cheap, i am paying for this wedding myself and can not afford catering also buying my own liquor ofcourse i have a responsilbe adult dispensing the drinks but does this seem cheap do you think people would talk about that!!!!! i also am making my own save the dates and the invitation ,,, the cake and dress are the only thing that are from a reputive vendor am i making a mistake THE ONLY THING I CARE ABOUT is that in 8months i will be marring the love of my life
2007-03-23 05:05:50 · 27 answers · asked by liz_bonilla2000 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
This is your day. The people that care about you will not think you are cheap. Since this is a big undertaking, I would ask people to help with invites and cooking. Also, it is not that expensive to hire someone to serve the food and keep everything warm especially buffet style.
My only concern is that you may be taking on to much on your own and won't be able to enjoy the wedding day.
Good luck.
2007-03-23 05:11:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said it all in one line, you are marring the love of your life, all else doesn't matter. The hell with what Ms. Manners would say. You are doing this on your own, you have limited money and a wedding shouldn't start the marriage off in debt, that's the way I feel. Ok, I've been married twice and the first time my parents footed the bill for the grand ball of traviesties, I married an idiot, so what did all the money do, it was wasted. The second time my husband and I paid for everything, but we have plenty of money and it wouldn't have made a difference if we had the wedding in the fancy restaurant we did or at home, or in a dump, all that mattered was that we had our friends and family around us, celebrating that two people found each other and were getting married and were so much in love that everyone could see it in their eyes. So, do what you want to do, not what you think people are going to talk about. You invite the wedding party just as you invite all the guests, that is only proper, they are in the wedding party, but they are also guests and you need their responses to count into the total of number of people coming. If you are cooking, that's great, keep the food in the warmers, people will be impressed that you did it all. Nothing wrong with briniging your own booze, that's where you get hurt the worst at a wedding, save where you can. Don't waste money, you are going to need it for the rest of your life. The people are going to have a good time and not worry where did everything come from, and if they do they aren't your friends, and if they are your family you are stuck with them, so what the hell.
2007-03-23 12:25:11 · answer #2 · answered by lochmessy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. First, Congrats! 2nd, yes send invites to wedding party...they are probably the only people who will want to keep them (except for you and your mom). Usually clarifies whether or not they can bring a date (they should be permitted to). It is appropriate to do the cooking, but dont. Call the local culinary school, call caterers to find out about drop off menus...but keep the day sacred for you and your groom. You just can't rely on the family to pitch in there is too much going on that day. Seriously, better to wait and enjoy the day, or cut back than spend half the morning in front of a hot stove.....Why not skip the liquor? its expensive and a big responsibility. Also check local ordanances, around here you cannot serve liquor to more than 25 people or on a premisis other than your own home (you must be owner and server) without a permit. The permit is not big deal...but it is a paperwork thing and makes you think twice about who is driving home drunk. Making your own invites and save the dates is awesome. Dont do all this wedding stuff yourself...utilize your bridesmaids, aunts, cousins, friends.....some ppl are wedding freaks (like me) and can't wait to be asked. As for the cake, price that. Check with the ladies in your local church they probably know a fantastic "cake lady" who will bake you a cake to die for for half the price of a bakery. Your guests want to see that you are happy (ecstatic even) and eat a good meal...they could care less about the rest of the details and hype that marketeres want you to believe you need. The rest, seriously, is about you and your betrothed. Make a list of the top five things about your wedding day...if you have them....then fine, if not, postpone. Do this once, do it right....right by you and your fiance, not by wedding weekly magazine...lol
2007-03-23 12:32:11 · answer #3 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Making your own menu and meals is fine. I am doing the same. I am about to get married in 6 weeks, and for ou reception, because we want to make it fun an we are as well paying for own wedding. We are having a cook out and making all kinds of side dishes with the help of my grandmother. I have a friend that makes wedding cakes and isn't charging me a thing , all Ihave to do is buy the cake mix.. AS far as invitation, go ahead and send them one, even if they already know. they may like to keep one for keepsake and as a reminder. I am making all of my invites too. congratualtions. as far as keeping the food warm, they have these aluminum pans that sit over a candle and stand to keep things warm, they work great, you can get them at sams club, or a party shop. Oh and the alcohol, you are going to be way to busy to be pouring drinks, why not make it simple and provide a keg of beer and get urself some liquor and put on the invites BYOB. I know some ppl, may think that is cheap, but hey they aren't paying for the wedding and reception. Most ppl don't mind and usually bring something they like anyways if there isn't an open bar. You could always make a big barrell or cooler full of a mix drink called harry buffalo.
2007-03-23 13:08:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your invitations go to everyone including bridal party.
If the cooking it to be done by you and family , you should have someone overseeing the setup and layout of the food.
You should have a person bar tending and keeping an eye on guests as far as consumption.
If you are doing the invitations and saves that is great and very cost effective.
I think the least amount of things you have to worry about the better for you.
It is a big financial burden and you don't need to be worrying about what others think.
If you are worrying, then you should elope and do it on a holiday somewhere.
If people are gong to judge you, they shouldn't
be invited to the wedding.
It is too much of a burden for you to pay for the expensive wedding.
I give you credit for arranging all this stuff on your own.
Make sure your people in charge are responsible and reliable, you don't need to be worrying about anything on your wedding day except having the time of your life.
Congrats....
2007-03-23 12:15:14 · answer #5 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes send an invite to the wedding party even to yourself - it's a nice rememberance they can put in their scrap book!
it's not innapropriate to do the cooking yourself but you will probably be so stressed out make sure you have a TON of help! ps. i'm doing this as well but with lots of family helping me - theyr'e excellent cooks! :P people will only talk about it fi a. it's amazing food b. you stress yourself out too much and it's noticable c. not because it seems cheap (i don't think it does)
you sounds very creative! - making your own invites & save the dates, go you!
you can even have a creative/crafty family member/friend take a cake decorating class and make it. if so go to www.wilton.com/wedding/index.cfm go to 'making the cake'
you are not making a mistake. the only reason you could mess up is by trying to do too much at once - let me say again get support and help from friends and family - don't stress too much eaither it'll work out!!
and you are an awesome bride- "THE ONLY THING I CARE ABOUT is that in 8months i will be marring the love of my life" that is the only important thing!
2007-03-24 01:15:52 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, yes quite a few of your guests are going to think you're being cheap. It is by far better, in the mind of the guest, to have a nice reception for a few people than to have a cheap reception for a lot of people. If you can't afford to properly host a gathering of the size you intend, then you need to cut that guest list.
Besides, you are going to put WAY too much stress on yourself if you try to cater this on your wedding day. First, you should be busy talking with people, getting ready, and relaxing and enjoying your day. But if you're busy making food, this won't happen. Also, you could be in for a heap of trouble if you goof up and keep something at the wrong temperature and someone gets sick. The same is true for the bartender...you and the bartender will be liable if one of your guests gets too drunk and gets in an accident. Caterers and professional bartenders bring such insurance with them.
So, protect yourself and your sanity. Since all you care about is marrying this man (as it should be), you shouldn't have any problems cutting down the guest list to make things more manageable.
2007-03-23 12:16:43 · answer #7 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i'm sure that if you went to the library or bookstore you could find a lot of v. helpful info and lists for a do-it-yourself-wedding.
you should send invites to everyone, your parents, people in your wedding party, everyone, so that they have one of their own. For special people in the party, etc include an additional page of any info they need to have for the day and events leading up to the wedding.
your friends and family will also only care about the fact that in 8 months you are marrying the man of your dreams - anyone who wants to be snotty about how you plan your party doesn't matter.
As far as the food goes - I highly recommend finding friends who will take on full responsibility for the food on the day of. Or pay a few locals or people from restaurants you like to help. Do the prep, organize and do as much of it as you can but you don't want to worry about it on your wedding day.
but totally, take an hour, go look through the books, and find some to-do lists that you can follow so you don't have to reinvent the wheel. There have been millions of wedding days, and are dozens of books to prove it ;)
2007-03-23 12:14:26 · answer #8 · answered by imnotachickenyoureaturkey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If all you care about is that you will be marrying the love of your life, then don't worry about whether something seems "cheap" or not. I know a fair number of people who make their own invitations; that is hardly being "cheap." That's getting what you want at a reasonable price.
As far as inviting people in the wedding, that I don't know. I know that when I have been in weddings, I was sent an invitation, but I do not know if it is required. It might depend on if they had dates to bring. My advice is to check a wedding etiquette book.
Good luck!
2007-03-23 12:11:52 · answer #9 · answered by CaptDare 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, most people do just what youa re doing!
Relax, it will be fine.
To answer yoru question, yes, it's proper ettiquette to send invites to the memebrs of the wedding party.
Great idea about buying your own liquour and appointing someone to do this.
Now, about the food, I wouldn;t recommennd you cooking on your wedding day! It will be TOO much going on on one day and you don;t want to be smelling like food on yoru wedding dress!
My suggestion is for you to plan the menu, set a budget and appoint 2-3 people to cook it for you and place it on the table. YOu may supervise the kitchen here and there, but by all means, don't put uneeded pressure on yourself on an already busy day.
Warmers are just fne, caterer use warmers to keep the food warm too.
Congratulations and good luck
2007-03-23 12:14:57 · answer #10 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋