We need help organizing our house!!!?

Question

...but when I suggested hiring a professional house organizer, my Mom snapped at me and said it's insulting to her. She thinks that members of the family themselves should clean up the mess, primarily the mother. Thing is, half of our house (and we live in a three-storey house) is clutter! She never has the time to clean up her own closet, let alone the whole house! I have suggested throwing away old stuff to minimize junk but she wants to keep them for keepsake or because of sentimental reasons, whatever. I honestly do not want to live in a messy house (who does?) so how do I make our household more livable? I am going to move out soon, but I don't want them to live in that pile of junk of a house too. HELP!!!

Answer 1

Cut your mother some slack. Before I had my daughter, three years ago, I was an organized, clutter free type of person. But since becoming a mom, the clutter is piling up. I have a cleaning girl come three times a week, so the house is clean and tidy, but don't open a closet, or come into my home office. I do my best and go through the clutter that is seen, every chance I get, but working and looking after a child is enough of a full time job. Sure, I could spend a long weekend cleaning my closets, but to be honest with you, I would rather hang out with my daughter and have a good time.

The day will come that my daughter is at school and I have a break from work, that it will all get done and organized!

My mother sounds like yours and it drove me crazy (and still does). I could never understand why she couldn't keep the house looking like a soap opera set, but she worked full time, had three kids and no help. Now I totally get it!!!!

Just keep your own space clean and your things put away, so you can feel in control. Also, pitch in and get a few loads of laundry done or organize the kitchen cupboards yourself. Don't get on her case for awhile and I am sure she will notice and WILL REALLY APPRECIATE IT!

Who knows, you could start your own business organizing other peoples' house and pay your way to your own dream space!

I am sure your mom loves you and is probably just trying to hang in there!

From,
"Know where your coming from, but, also, know where your mom is coming from too"

Answer 2

There is a syndrome that people have that they like to keep everything and never throw anything out which ends being clutter and piles of junk. My daughter in law has that syndrome and it is a major problem. The only problem with a professional organizer is that your Mom won't let her in the house. I saw that first hand...there is always an excuse. You could try to coax her to start a cleanup together, telling her you would help her. Tell her if you have not worn something in two years, you will never wear it. Get three boxes, named: Keep - Charity - Toss. Then slowly try to have her put things in those designated boxes a little at a time. Also maybe a garage sale will help her to get rid of alot of stuff she thinks she needs and when the money starts coming in she may have a change of heart. If she does not do it, there is very little you can do. When you move out, just keep your place neat and clean and hope that someday your Mom will come around.

Answer 3

Be patient. That's all I can say. Your mother has not faced the fact that something has to be done. No matter what she says she will not throw out that old stuff unless she realize that she doesn't need it or use it anymore. I know your saying why keep it then? I agree with you but, ultimately your going to leave and she's the one that's going to live with the mess. You and the rest of the family can start by throwing away things and organizing things yourself. But, I am telling you that your mother will only go behind you and take things out of the garbage or just not keep the house in order once it's done. She is set in her ways maybe she realizes there is a problem but, doesn't really want to put forth the effort to correct the situation. Hey, at least keep your stuff organized and clean until you leave then don't worry about it so much. I grew up with parents that are still like this and I'm 33 years old and I dread going over their house sometimes just because I don't want to be in the mess. Be patient and take care of yourself.

Answer 4

By not cleaning out the clutter, your blocking the positive chi to enter your home. We are in the process of doing a huge cleaning out project. We started a few weeks ago, closet by closet, we are getting there. Its not easy, some of it is sentimental to my husband and I. However we don't have room for it all anymore. The magazines we love and have read already we just pass on to friends or family and then tell them to toss when done. Your right though, if that's what you want to hear, spring cleaning means, spring cleaning. You want to start over, start fresh, and then clean everthing as well. Hope you don't have allergies or asthma all that clutter is filled with dust and some may even have mold.

Answer 5

You guys could do just as good yourselves as a professional would. That way she won't be insulted or embarrassed. Sentimental things can be kept well and out of sight as to not become clutter. Seems you have a large house with lots of space so I would suggest committing one room to this purpose. There are many container and organization stores with consultants who will help you plan for this event. Displaying is also a major part of cleaning up clutter. Not everything has to be trashed, sold or given to charity. But by having a yard sale,you will aquire some extra cash to put towards getting organized.

I recently organized my home and used different kinds of bins, boxes, and baskets to store and aesthetically display my things. I love it. Good Luck!

Answer 6

I had the same problem when I was living at home, and the easiest way of helping out, is to give out a handmade gift certificate to your mom good for 1 room cleaning. I did this for mothers day, and I cleaned out and reorganzied her closet for her. (I did not throw anything away, just stored everything easier and used bins for sweaters and out of seasons). My mom LOVED the fact that I did it for a gift, but it does not cure a clutterbug. It is now 2 years later and worse than it was before I cleaned it!
It taught me one very important thing. The person who is the clutterbug HAS to help doing the reorganizing, otherwise they won't keep it up.
The next mothersday, I had my mom help me reorganize her pantry, and it stuck! It really did help to get her involved!
My stepmom on the otherhand is SO bad with clutter that she won't even allow friends to tour her home, since she is ashamed of the mess. Her whole main floor has been nicely decorated and designed (and she cleans it up when she's expecting company), but the second everyone leaves, its back to its cluttered mess. She is a hopeless clutterbug, as everything is related to some memory or sentiment or "I'll use it someday!"
If your mom is like this, then just simply move out, and keep your new place clean and organized. It may just kickstart her into going home and picking things up!

Answer 7

I know all about clutter, when I moved I promised myself to throw out 80% and keep only 20% - happy to say I was able to do that. It takes courage, strong will to get rid of clutter, but it has to be done. Getting rid of clutter is not going to happen in a day, it takes time, so you need to start by telling your mother, let's go through this cupboard (for example) have three piles, keep, throw out, give away, make sure the keep pile is the smallest. Your mother won't know that throw out and give away are both going to the dump.

Answer 8

First, have a garage sale & get rid of the clutter & uneeded things or donate to a salvation army or thrift store(tax deductions)Get the clutter under control then buy plastic containers for unneeded things that you cannot part with but separate into organized containers. Only have out what you need, then organize what is left.

Answer 9

Seriously, this was just on Dr Phil and my Mom is just like that. It's a disease. They can't help it. They go through withdrawal just like an alcoholic or druggy, except their drug is junk. It helps keep them stay calm. Most are even ashamed, but can't change. They would actually need treatment. My relationship with my Mom is worth more than a clean home, so I just come to accept that their are a lot worse things in life.

Answer 10

Keep her stuff. Just organize it . You can organize her closet too.

Buy many plastic boxes with different color lids.
( big ones- walmart, target)
Label the boxes:
Place keepsakes in one color boxes and stack them up .

Place all magazines, newspapers, etc. in other color.
Out of season clothes can go in plastic box under the bed, creating more closet space.
Buy jars for the pantry . rice, coffee, etc. You can even get shelves for the pantry door.
In her closet, place all shirts together ( buy 100 hangers!)
coats together, etc.
Get a shoe rack to hang on her closet door and put all of out of season shoes there.
Place a basket in the foyer for everyday shoes if small children live in the house.

Ask her to go thru her closet with you and give up the clothes she doesn't want to a clothes drive you are helping with ( just take the clothes to goodwill or the church)

In the bathroom , Buy nice baskets for underneath the sink and place medicine with medicine, another for beauty products , etc.

Fold all linen in linen closet. More things will fit if they are folded.

Buy laundry baskets or hampers for each bedroom.


This can be such a fun project . One rule while cleaning : You get to pick the music and blast it !