Why the double standard?

Question

There are lots of them and most of them are those that we point out as detrimental to women. However this one is something that I just thought of. It is in most societies that the woman can expect to be taken care of by the man that she is with. Even alot of the most "independent" women have subconscious expectations to be taken care of that manifest themselves in the way that guys are generally expected to treat them. Guys show girls that they are willing to take care of her, prize her and protect her by holding doors, paying for all or most of their dates, being the emotionally repressive partner in the relationship and many other things that we attribute with "proper etiquette." (Deny it all that you want but these things are based on the idea supporting and protecting the woman). People rarely even question these things. But if a guy has desires for support in similar ways people claim that he is looking for a woman to be his mother. What type of sh@t is that? Why's that acceptable

Answer 1

becasue even WomYn want their cake and to eat it too. Stupid! A truly 'independent' woman shouldn't care if her man has a job or not... and should expect him to be the stay at home dad to the kids... unfortunatly, most women who claim to be 'independent' are just demanding, high maintaince... not independent...

I married a slacker, now since divorced... but when i married him I knew I was the one taking care of him and not the other way around...

Personally, I don't think anyone should 'expect' to be taken care of by anyone, but to co-operate is always good!

Answer 2

I am a straight woman....mid 40's...a degreed professional in a very public position. I've never been married (lived with a few men) and I have no kids.

I have no issue with being the bread winner,. I've asked men out and have paid for dates.. This could be because I'm a control freak. Childhood issues perhaps.

But I don't necessarily assume that if a guy wants to be a stay at home husband/partner, that means he's a gold digging Mommy seeker. We could trade traditional roles and that would be fine with me...as long as he pulled his weight and kept us his part of the bargain. He'd need to keep the house clean, cook for me, wash my clothes and buy my tampons without cringing.

If marriage or committed relationships are true partnerships, why not?

Answer 3

There are different standards for men and women because we are very different, outside and in. Now, beyond our base biological (and therefore mental) differences, when people came together and started interacting and creating communities, they started creating systems and traditions for the ways that things happen. Germans wear leiderhosen, Muslims pray in a certain direction, and Women wear dresses. We forget that when all the day to day drama is stripped away we are advanced animals with behaviors that we learn from our parents, friends and communities.

The strongest and biggest goes to battle because they have the best odds of winning.

The one who gives birth cares for the children.

The one who cares for the children is more emotionally intuitive and open because for years they interact with small little beings that need to be cared for and cannot speak.

While one is taking care of the children the other brings them food.

Extrapoliate these first few relationships out a few hundred thousand years, throw in the curve ball of the evolution of language, story-telling, writing, and then religion and you have modern day culture.

With all our advances and philisopical musings, we can't seem to get away from the basics.

Just give what you have. Don't worry about convention. Use your skills to do whatever to do what you can to take care of the people you care about. And hang out with people who do the same.

Answer 4

Vince, times they are a changing, and I don't think its that uncommon these days to find a man who stays at home while a woman goes out to work. Holding doors open is a nice thing for a man to do for a woman, but if I was first one to the door Id hold it open for you gladly, its not a big deal. Traditionally men pay for most things because they earn more. Even now most men still earn more than most women. You are forgetting, though, to take into account the way that woman take care of men..... we probably cook and clean for you more than you do for us. We bear your children. We remind you to go to the doctor and dentist, we choose the gifts for your mother's birthday, we are the emotional care takers in the relationship. If you are in a relationship that is unacceptable to you, then you have the choice to leave it.

Answer 5

You said it!! The world expects men to be the protectors. Women expect men to show courage, strength and independence. Women like gladiator/warriors, not little poooty cats. When men assume a submissive or dependent posture, they look weak and cause women to feel insecure and unprotected. Buddy, if you are seeking reassurance to play the role of the ninety pound weakling, you will be very disappointed. Step up to the table and show your grits.

Answer 6

You are confusing the family institution with relationships...
ya wanna be taken care of...No prob....
The woman being taken care of plays an important role in
the family concept by caring for and nurturing the young and the male provides.... Even with mother nature in the animal
world you will see this structure...

Answer 7

Women are delicate that men, You know women have it harder in life than men. You will know once you have a baby girl that you dont want to her to be treated with roughness, and a guy to treat her really brutually. People have pondered about it, its just a common courteousy to not be brutal to women.

Answer 8

Go to the roots of human origin. A woman would bare children and human children are weak and need constant attention for several years. A woma needs a man who has the strength to care for her as well as their off spring for years while she is incapacitated, unable to hunt or protect for years. A few years of computers and automobiles can't undo 50,000 years of evolution.

Answer 9

because the role of the man is to be the provider. I, sorta take care of my bf, we share the check when we go out (sometimes he pays, sometimes I pay) but thats an arrangement that we have come up.

Answer 10

It is acceptible because people choose to accept it. Women rule the world. If you can get a woman who agrees with your standards, good on ya.