i am leaving my abusive partner on monday i have got everything sorted becasue i have animals and all
i am going in to a refuge shelter
my lil brother said he is going to help me monday
and after i have done this how long do you think i should wait till i can go out and enjoy the rest of my life
thats all i want
i am just scared incase he will drink in the same pub as me even though he doent like the pub please help you see what should i do
2007-03-23 03:52:38 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just dont worry ,your doing the right thing ,leave every thing ells to the people that work at the shelter ,i no a ladie that worked in one ,shes very nice, aad the'll anser all your questions when you get there ,just get there lol
2007-03-23 03:57:53 · answer #1 · answered by pleasebenice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing hun. I was married for nearly 30 years and it's a daunting prospect to just up and leave. I had animals too but I had to leave them behind, that hurt. It took me a year to finally go out and be able to hold my head up. Don't stop going out but if I was you I would not drink in the same pub as him. Give it a while for things to settle down. You will get there believe me and well done for making the decision to leave, you are worth more than that and don't let anyone tell you different. If I did it hun you can. Good luck x
2007-03-27 00:18:26 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Isis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GOOD ON YOU!!!
I would suggest throwing yourself back into the "normal" things in life as soon as you feel able to, maybe starting off with a few close friends having a meal or an hour of two in the pub just to help rebuild your confidence. The rest of your life has already started the minute you made the decision to leave him. Walk tall, hold your head high, YOU have done nothing wrong. HE is the loser who should be hiding away in shame.
2007-03-23 03:59:35 · answer #3 · answered by bagpusstail 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to make a move. Moves can be healthy. Start all over in a new place. Enjoy a new hair color. Find new friends. Stop smoking. The whole bit! Hey. Give up drinking... it doesnt do anybody any good anyhow. Just stop that and give up the pubs.
Read a book for goodness sake. See some theatre/movies. Make friends who also eschew the bars and drinking.
2007-03-23 03:57:11 · answer #4 · answered by kent j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well done you for getting out. Not easy, I know, but your new life is going to start the minute you walk out the door, in fact it has already started just from making the decision to leave.
If its possible, you should go to the Police. They will arrest him and hopefully get you a restraining order which means he would have to keep his distance. Also, it will hopefully stop him doing it again.
The refuge shelter will be there to help you every step of the way, they will have counsellors and legal advisor to help you figure everything out.
My big advice, don't think about waiting to start your new life, you already have started your new life and you should be incredibly proud of yourself.
2007-03-23 04:04:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all let me say "cheers" on getting out! Second....do not go to the pub silly girl! Any pub for a while. Get in touch with yourself and quite frankly, what kind of people do you meet in the pubs anyway? Drunks and losers hang out at those places and waste away thier lives. You aren't like that are you? I don't think you are based on your question and concerns. You are better than that, and HIM! Good luck sweetheart, and GODbless you!
2007-03-23 03:59:19 · answer #6 · answered by Patsfan34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you have to make sure that you are leaving him otherwise your self esteem will diisapear completely,and you will deteriorate.
you say your leaving him,and to be honest,that should be easy,but you probably may have a little difficulty.
please find a erelationship with yourself before you allow yourself to get involvede with anyone else.
the more you find a relationship with yourself the more you will recognise the "NO-GO"areas imrelationships because you are re learning what is godd and what is not good for you.
I am sorry to hear you have been abused,but your courage and hope will serve you well.
You are worth a lot lot lot lot more than to be treated the wrong way.
2007-03-23 04:11:01 · answer #7 · answered by meditation and mango juice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not what you should be doing in a perfect world, but I think you have to change you life, re-find yourself and go to new places, keep out of his way. You already said you feel anxious about it which leads me to thinking you need to be apart from him and to rebuild your life without him in it before venturing back to seeing him even across the room in a buisy pub.
Things wont happen over night, thats normal. What is not normal is expecting yourself to just "flip out of it" and go on as normal.
You were with him and stuck with him I presume becasue you couldn't get out, yes? otherwise you wouldn't need your brother to help yu out. So stop expecting to do the rest alone, new relationships, new threads of life...etc all take time and support and require friends, and do not come overnight for anyone.
2007-03-23 04:02:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, from the first time he put his hands on you....you should have been gone. What took you so long to get out of this relationship and PLEASE do not say it was LOVE b/c LOVE would not want to hurt you in any way. You need to probably go to the court house to get a restraint order on him if this situation is that bad. I hope you find someone that treats you like you deserve to be treated sweetie. Never put your life on hold after you get out of something such as this...LIVE you have to do this for yourself. Good Luck!
2007-03-23 03:58:11 · answer #9 · answered by Christina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all congratulations for having the courage to leave this man it takes alot of courage to do this.
as for going out and enjoying yourself i dont see why you cant do that straight away what i would say though is avoid anywhere he knows you go if you're going out go to places you dont usually go + pubs you dont usually drink in i'd do that for a few months until things died down.
good luck xx
2007-03-23 04:02:19 · answer #10 · answered by dubgirl26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋