will i ever get over it?

Question

i lost my dad 2 years ago it was very sudden he died of a heart attack.
i was on antidepressant for too long
so i came off of them.
i feel stuck like life means nothing without him its not like i haven't been through this before my mum died when i was younger plz help and tell this will soon go away

Answer 1

Probably won't go away soon, but maybe lessen a little over time. You need something in your life to feel good about and not dwell on death all of the time.

Get some good counseling and maybe some different pills.

Answer 2

Time is a big healer. I really do believe that statement. Sometimes we never get over losing a loved one but we learn to live with the loss and not hurt quite so much each day. I lost someone special 22 years ago and I can say the hurt as gone and i can live with it but you don't forget.

I am so sorry your dad died. sometimes it is worse when it's sudden because we have no time to prepare for the death. can you think back to when your Mother died how you coped?
I think you could ask your GP for some bereavement counselling as that will help you greatly.
Your father would want you to live and try to enjoy life.
You have done well to come off the antidepressants but are you ready?
Life can be difficult without our loved ones.
It may be a good idea to set yourself some achievable goals that will keep you occupied and give you a sense of purpose.
Could you get away for a break with friends this summer?

Another thing to do could be to plant a rosebush or shrub in your garden as a memorial to your dad. You could even have a plaque done.

I wish you well and in time you will feel more positive.

Answer 3

I do feel for you. and I know what you are going through. I lost my mum 25 years ago and my dad 8 years ago. After mum died I was the only one at home with my dad and our relationship was close because of that, so that when he died (suddenly) even though I was married and had a wonderful husband and little daughter I felt like a small boat that had been set adrift on a huge ocean. I had lost my anchor in life, my point of reference, he one person i knew without a shadow of doubt would always be there for me. the one I could always turn to no matter what. There's no quick fix for a pain like this. Some days will be worse than others but cherish his love, be the person he wanted you to be, do it for his memory. When you feel you can't cope, don't give up, say "what would dad have advised?" "how wuld he have wanted me to handle this?" if you have a family of your own, talk to them about their grandfather, tell them stories, keep his memory alive for them. I wrote my dad's life story just for my own sake and I also started on my family tree, which I am still doing, this connects me to him in a healthy way and keeps the memories alive. You won't ever truely get over the loss of your father but you can make it through your pain and come out the other side smiling. Bless you.

Answer 4

I am very sorry about your loss and I hope this doesn't sound too corny, but try this.
When you miss them both the most - hold your hands together and feel the warmth.

The warmth that gave you life came from these two people - mum and dad, who loved you so much. Realise that in a strange way that they live on within you and is what you will pass on to your own children.

My daughter lost her mother when she was fifteen. She tells me that that thought and action was a comfort and helped and still does.

Your feelings of bereavement will get less - as they did before. The thing with loss is that it puts us in mind of earlier loss of people and things. If feelings were bottled up before - they may find expression now.

Who says you have been on antidepressants for too long? You're on them for as long as you need them. However, medication works best taken with the talking cure. Go back and speak to your GP about your feelings and have him arrange some counselling as well as medication.

Answer 5

No, my friend, you will never get over it. But even if you do not believe me, it will change over the years, to a different level, so to speak. How old you are, matters, do you struggle with your sorrow on your own, do you have anyone to talk to a.s.f. But the sadness for loosing a loved one, will always be a part of your life. As I understand you two had a very good relationship, which makes it even harder. I had the same good relations with my dad,he died in 1992 of his 5th heart attack, at the age of 72. And not a day goes by without me thinking of him, speaking about him. I have made it a point to bring out the good things that allways made us laugh and enjoy, when I tell my grandchildren about their great grandfather. Our youngest, Elizabeth, said ones that she knew him so well, because she had heard so many stories. But the fact is she was born after his death!! I wish you all the best, and my prayers go out to you, and others in the same situation. It seems like it is always the best that go first. Try to be happy for the time you had your father, and not focus on the neg side. This is life as we know it. God bless. Greeting from Norway

Answer 6

I'm sorry your hurting sweetie.We all go through this sometimes.My mother died when I was only 6,so I grew up without a mother,my grandmother raised me,then she died last August,she had been bed bound for 2 years,and I had to take care of her,batheing,changing,empty catheter,turn her.She had Alzheimers,so it wasnt sudden.But for the rest of last year,I was fine,I always told myself,she was better off.But for some reason in January,I started being depressed,its tapered off a bit.But my mom died 20 years ago,and I can say I never got over it to this day.So it never leaves you,it only becomes easier to cope with,and thats only if you try to only remember the good times with the person.Never the arguments or anything.I wish you luck sweetie.But dont let this completely ruin your life.Your dad loves you and he would want you to live a very full and happy life.

Answer 7

Yes you will! Somewhere I read that: A champion is one who gets up even when he can't. So be a champion. This is the reality of life, but its not the end. Looks like u r alone. Well, I think true friends will help you out and you can get lots of good friend here on yahoo answers.
In fact, he has never left you. Its just that now, you cannot see him with open eyes, but you can definitely see him whenever you want when you close your eyes. This is because now he lives in your heart, and at this place, no one will be able to remove him. All his time will be devoted to you only, and whenever you need him, just close your eyes and think of him, he'll be there to motivate you. Don't get depressed and waste your life. You have to live happily for him because am sure that was what he always wanted: your happiness. Don't let him down. live for him.
Take care.

Answer 8

Im sorry for ur loss! LIfe is certainly full of suprises for us all and sometimes we feel like there is not right direction to go in and we feel like all we have done in our lives can decitate what happens to others... This is not so..
Time is a great healer and in time u will begin to accept this. This will make u stronger as a person and you can move forward but allow yourself to grieve for you loss too.. Take a bit of time out and try to remerber what you had and not what you have lost.. I know this will be difficult for you but you can do this!
Believe in yourself you parents would hope you could find the strength they found when u was 2.. because these times are trying for parents.. sometimes u feel like giving up but you dont! and you should allow this time to grieve but also look at this as a strong point to focus on what you must do with you life.
Good luck.. you can do this

Answer 9

babe, a really good friend of mine died just before christmas and it was devastating, it affected the whole town...i know it's different but i think death involves the same principles... the main fact is you can't let it destroy your life, especially as that is not what they want at all. But you hear all the time 'you can't let it ruin your life' 'you have to move on' ...but you do have to get on with it, and you HAVE to feel ok.. thats's just the way it is and i found that by telling myself these things and that it is just un-acceptable to fall apart you are in a way tricking yourself into feeling ok. You will get over it as long as you want to... you have to be willing to accept that you are supposed to feel good again and that it is not your duty to proove to anyone that you cared about you parents/dad... YOU know you cared THEY know you cared and that's all that matters you have nothing to proove to anyone else. Your main objective in life should be your aim for happiness. Take a risk, do something you're scared of (like maybe go and work abroad) and ask for help from your dad/mum to get the strength to do it. This will get your mind onto something new and exciting and after i'm sure you'll feel proud of yourself and you would have had your parents by your side the whole time. Just ask them whenever you need their help and remember they'll always be there in spirit, they still exist or you wouldn't remember them.

Answer 10

wow i am so sorry to hear that you have lost both your parents too. all i can say is that the hurt never really goes away. but that's a good thing. it means you are human and you loved them. it will get better i promise. but the best thing to do would be to get some grief counseling. it helped me. there are also group meetings that you could attend if one on one isn't your cup of tea. but hang in there and seek the warmth and security in the arms of a good friend. surround yourself with love and friendship and you will never be alone. your mom and dad loved you very much and i am sure that nothing would hurt them more than to see their child in pain. go talk to your doctor and get yourself some other type of medication if nothing else. whatever you do, do not do something that would cause the rest of your family and friends the same kind of pain that you are in right now.

Answer 11

You will never get over loosing your dad. You will simply learn how to live with it. That takes time and thought. you did the right thing by coming off antidepressants because they only mask the problem and you can come to depend on them. Take one day at a time and just live your life. Loosing someone close to you is a pain that never goes away but it does become more and more bearable.