Need help with bridal shower invitation. Asking for money towards honeymoon?

Question

Hello, I am throwing the bride a shower. They have been together for 4 years and already have an established home and everything that goes in it. She is not registering anywhere except for at a travel agency. I think this is rude, as to me it sounds like they are saying "PAY FOR MY HONEYMOON". I have told her how I feel and have asked her what is the point of having a shower to open only cards of money. She insists on wanting a shower (YOUNG FIRST TIME BRIDE Syndrome - I don't know). I have been to many showers that had registery information in the invitation and see nothing wrong with that, but only to be regisetered with a travel agency? Am I looking at all of this wrong. DO I send out invitations with something saying they are established and don't need anything but are registered at an agency. PLEASE SEND ADVICE. Thanks. Deedee

Answer 1

hhhmmm, this is a toughie...
Maybe include a notation saying something like this,
"In lew of gifts the bride has asked for donations to go towards their honeymoon. They are going to _____!
Contributions can be made directly to the bride or to (insert travel agency name here)"
Good luck!

Answer 2

Honeymoon Bridal Shower

Answer 3

I think a bridal shower is a nice time for all the women to get together and talk and reminess (sp?) about their own weddings. The registry and gift aspect is a small part of it. If she's doing a travel registry then maybe you could have a theme party of whereever they are planning on going to make it more fun for everyone. And then you just don't have to do the whole opening gifts in front of everyone thing since everyone knows what she's getting.

You can even have people buy her certain things to do on the honeymoon. I've seen this with honeymoon registries. You can buy a couples massage or a parasailing trip, then it's more personal and you know the couple will enjoy it and think of you while they're enjoying what you bought them. I really don't think it's any different than registering for a toaster.

Answer 4

Honeymoon Registries, Create-a-Gift, Mortgage Registry

Companies have now created registries that are essentially veiled ways of asking for money. For example, at a honeymoon registry, a guest can give you the gift of "a nice dinner out," or "tickets to a play." You receive the cash, minus the site's fee, and can then use it for your honeymoon expenses. Suntrust Bank has even created a bridal registry for a down payment on a home. And TheKnot offers "Create-a-Gift", which allows you to ask for money for just about anything you can think of, in the form of American Express gift checks. So are these options okay, or tacky? I'm still a little divided. At their worst, they can seem greedy, and almost as bad as just stating "please give us cold hard cash!" with the added bonus of service-and-handling fees. But if you've planned out a very specific honeymoon itinerary so that guests can really feel like they're giving a wedding gift, and not just writing a check, that can alleviate some of those vibes. After all, once upon a time (and even still, to the most etiquette-picky in the world) any kind of wedding registry was considered tacky. As these become more common to use, it's likely that any tackiness will become a thing of the past.

Answer 5

Every time I hear about honeymoon "registries" it really gets my goat. You are totally correct about your feelings. If I were the one throwing this shower, I would have no part of printing a single word about such a tacky registry on an invitation bearing my name as "host." Don't make any mention of the registry when you print the invitations. The bottom line is, the bride is really asking for cash (thinly veiled as a registry). Wow..that's gonna be one rockin' fun shower with the bride opening card after card of vouchers at a travel agency. The purpose of the bridal shower is to help set the couple up in starting a household. Just because they "have everything the need" does not entitle them to choose something else.instead! If she already has everything, there is no need for a shower. Anyway, you are not wrong in your feelings. Just go ahead and print them w/out any registry info. When/if guests inquire about what the bride needs you can mention that Bride started a honeymoon registry. That way, if guests find that tacky and rude (which they will) it doesn't have any reflection on you. I hope the bride realizes that just because she started a honeymoon registry, doesn't mean guests are going to contribute towards it. They will just go out on their own and choose a gift, which, since she stated no preference, may not be to her liking. Good luck to you on this!! Bad situation to be in..I feel for you.

Answer 6

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
Need help with bridal shower invitation. Asking for money towards honeymoon?
Hello, I am throwing the bride a shower. They have been together for 4 years and already have an established home and everything that goes in it. She is not registering anywhere except for at a travel agency. I think this is rude, as to me it sounds like they are saying "PAY FOR MY...

Answer 7

If she is only wants money toward a honeymoon, which is fine, she should NOT have a shower. Sorry, but the shower is intended to shower the bride/couple with gifts. If there are no gifts, there should not be a shower. And it would be very rude of the couple to ask for money for the honeymoon AND gifts.

And the honeymoon registry should be passed along by word of mouth. That kind of information never goes in an inviation for the wedding. If guests want to know what the bride/groom specifically want, they'll ask.

Answer 8

This is a tough one. If it was me I would have done as you,voice what you thought then see if see if see is willing to go along with a card shower. I would put on the invites that this is a card shower then leave it to the people to either give gifts of money or gift card to places maybe she could come up with a few stores where the both shop alot. who don't like gift card. I would also make a theme some how to take away from this touchy situation. I had everyone bring a Christmas ornament to the shower, or maybe a recipe card filled in with the guest favorite recipe. I don't think I would mention the "they want money" thing. I'm in the same boat.butI'm not about to tell someone they have to give me money.Our guest know we've lived together for 3 years.When someone ask what I need I tell them nothing, just come and enjoy our day with us.I'mdont want people to think I'm in this just to get money out of the party

Answer 9

I agree with Pink Denial.

A shower is NOT the place to ask for honeymoon money. This is unappropiate (not to count unacceptable and tacky).

The purpose of the bridal shower is to give the bride practical, personal and sentimental small gifts prior the wedding. The bridal shower is not another party to collect money.

She can be registered at the travel agency for the WEDDING gift. This is appropiate, But you cannot expect for people to give her cash twice and ask for money on **gasp** the bridal shower!!! Horrible, greedy and tacky. .. awful. There is NO registry for a BRIDAL shower!!!! only for the wedding gift.

Please, do not this, you will embarrass the bride if you do, as something like that shows lack of manners (may I say class).

Let people bring whatever they want at the bridal shower.

As an alternative, I suggest to have the "Honeymoon" theme at the bridal shower and let people bring items related to a vacation and honey moon (i.e. beach towels, lugagge etc) and have a money tree on one corner, may someone elect to bring cash.

Good luck

Answer 10

In the end this is YOUR party, you are the hostess and the bride has NO say, she will have to get over it. Dont add any registry info in the invite. People will take this to mean either that they have to call you or shop on their own for gifts. If they call, you can say well they registered at this travel agency, if you would like to give money towards their honeymoon I know they would appreciate it otherwise go with something you think they would like. (A tip, snoop around her house and see if anything needs updating, like kitchen equipment or bathroom linens just so if people ask you for ideas you can say I know she loves to cook, how about something for her kitchen, some people, like myself, are not good at shopping for others and need some sort of steering into a gift direction)

I agree that the honeymoon registry is a little strange, maybe you could set her up with things she will need for the honeymoon, like sunscreen, some new beach towels, GCs for a new baithing suit or new shorts. That way it could be a honeymoon theme party.

Good luck!

Answer 11

You are right--to a degree. You cannot print "money for honeymoon" on the shower invitation. You can, however as you mentioned, put where they are registered on the invitation. So what if it is a travel agency? That was the choice of the bride and groom.

You may consider giving her a themed shower. The theme could be "Honeymoon Travel." If guests are uncomfortable with giving money, they could give her lingeri, a travel bag, a book about things to see or do at their destination, etc.

If people ask you individually, "what does she really want?" you can tell them discreetly that a monetary gift is the way to go. After all, a shower is the only party given for the sole purpose of "showering" the guest of honor with gifts.

Godspeed.