I cant get pessimistic thoughts out of my head!?

Question

Every time I get hope about something, I feel this feeling, kinda like a voice say, its not going to happen, or just give up. I feel like I must go back to my bitter self towards people, but Iv got this far with changing myself, I cant turn back now, even now as I type this, I feel a deppressed oncoming. People are very warm to me since I have changed my attitude, but the forces to be ''God'' is telling me shut up and be bitter again! God likes me to feel bad, I just know it, I HATE God!! I used to be catholic, but not any more for sure!! Im also very paranoid! Im on meds (citalopram 40 mg) What should I do, I feel like Im going nuts.

Answer 1

Hey Barry
First of all-- you are dealing with the onset of depression-- plain and simple-- it is a closed loop thing that will notch you back to base garbage again and again until you get some help with it----AND-- it is nothing that YOU or God has brought on--- alot of the time it is a chemical imbalance that is taking place within the brain and with a simple medication this can be corrected and everything brought back to center for you--- and you do want to be back to some positives here-- right ?? So-- you have to take this to a doctor and get it all out on the table with them-- they have ways that will help you and make this a thing you can put behind you fairly rapid !!!

In closing, Barry, it is NOT God's will or way that you are in what you are experiencing here--- it is ultimately in Satan's interest though for you to feel that is God's "fault" that you are miserable !! And, the forces of negativity and darkness are at the center of Blaming God for all kinds of things that THEY are at the heart of--- just remember that Satan is the father of lies and the author of confussion !! And, you've been a little confused of late---- right ?? Tell you anything here ??

Now, make that call--- talk with someone that knows how to deal with this stuff---Not to do so is sentencing yourself to a loop of downward spirialing gloom that will suck the life out of you and it could even turn deadly if left unattended !!! And, we want to keep you around, dude --- Y-A needs your crazy butt !!! So, get 'er done and get back into the game !!!

Answer 2

Realize that you are still suffering from depression and those are the symptoms. Tell your Dr. that you're having them and you'll most likely need either a change of meds/increase/or additional meds to get your depression under control

Also, are you seeing a therapist on a regular basis. Someone you can open up to, vent, rage against the world, bounce thoughts off of. This helped me immensely in my fight with depression. It is never an easy battle and somedays will be better than others. You already have won a victory - you can feel a depressive episode coming on. Many can't.

So, stop worrying about God and paranoia. Take each day as it comes, never stop your meds, and try to talk to a therapist....One day it will just happen...you'll realize that you feel better, more able to cope and the darkness is lifted

Answer 3

Talk to your doctor, please. Don't stop taking your meds either, that's not good. My ex-wife was bipolar and a real treat to deal with. You might also join a support group, that can be helpful. What about hobbies? Take up couple. I like to build models, build computers, play computer games(all most to much), mountain biking (off-road it's good for stress), R/C cars and trucks (both gas & electric), fishing, canoeing(rivers & streams again good for stress but dangerous if unskilled) I thought I was going find out if I was wrong about heaven and hell, stupid mistake on my part almost cost my wife and I are lives. My son is showing interest in trains so I see another hobby in my future. And an R/C plane would be cool. That's alot to do and keeps my mind occupied.

I'm not in any way a religious person but I'll ask. Why would your God want you to feel bad?
Don't be bitter to people, you'll sleep better at night knowing your just a good person no matter what. Life is to short to go around thinking like that. Enjoy it for all it's worth.

Answer 4

Could be your medication too. Want to feel better about yourself.. then try some exercise. It releases endorphins as well.. a very good way to boost your moods too. .for your thoughts.. try some affirmations daily for a couple months..Pessimistic thoughts are a habit, not a sign of mental illness. You started early and continue.. It's easier for most people to maintain the status quo than opt for change. Change takes time and you need to give yourself sometime.
Seriously, try exercise.. Join a gym.. if you don't feel comfortable doing that, get some weights for the house/apt. and make exercise a habit. Good luck. Hey.. I'm catholic and doing stress about it. I don't agree with everything and don't sweat the stuff I do..