my mom died from breast cancer when i was 10 (I'm now 17). My dad's remarried since then. My step-mom is wonderful. She treats me just like she treats her own daughter. There are 18 kids living in my house (It's a long story. His kids, her kids, adopted kids, cousins, their kids. big mixed family). and she treats us all the same. i want to start calling her mom, but I don't want it to seem like I'm forgetting about my real mom. I think my mom would like my step-mom, but i still don't know what to do. I wish they could've met. Should i start calling her mom?
2007-03-23 03:14:44 · 25 answers · asked by I'm 17 and ME!!!!!! 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It is up to you as to what you want to call her. Maybe you could call her for example "Momma jean"
Whatever her name is put it with momma.
2007-03-23 03:27:41 · answer #1 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have a great family... sorry to hear about your mom ... I know that must have been hard for you, my kids' father died when they were young too... the baby was 4...
I had 6 kids, they were 19, 17, 15, 12, 7, and the 4 year old!
Then I re-married a nice man a year later and he had just lost his wife.. earlier that year... he had two teenage daughters, 13, & 18 who were going through alot of grieving and believe me, I do understand it... it was too soon for them for me to come along, not to mention my 6 kids as well! We had a hard time.... and they have had some anger issues to deal with ... they still resent me after all these years... but things have gotten better since they have grown up, left home, and gotten married! They will probably never call me mom, but the step mom term is kind of rough, so they just call me by my name! I am ok with this,... but I am really proud of you for the way you are dealing with your situation.... Good luck!
2007-03-23 10:33:37 · answer #2 · answered by MaggieO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you say that your step mom treats you the same like her own daughter, well that is great and which mom wouldn't like to know that when they die there children will be in good care and loved for...i am not sure on calling her mom yet but if you feel in your heart that you want to start calling her mom then that is up to you!
2007-03-26 18:25:23 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I know exactly what you go through, because my mom has also passed away. I never did have a stepmom though, because when I was a kid, I wanted "my daddy to myself". Therefore, he never remarried.
I think you should do what you feel comfortable with. By calling her "mom" in no way means you will forget or replace your real mom. I'm sure your real mother would have wanted your father to be happy. And I'm sure she would have liked your stepmom.
2007-03-23 11:36:57 · answer #4 · answered by Annamarie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there. I'm really glad your dad was able to remarry and find someone as wonderful as your stepmother sounds. Good for all of you. Sounds like you have a big happy family.
As a mother, I'm positive that your mother is *very* happy that this lady has taken care of you and made your life happy when she couldn't be here to do it herself.
For a long time after my husband's mom remarried, he called his step-dad by his first name. Mainly because he didn't feel comfortable calling him anything else (he was a grown man by then) and because he was afraid it would feel like he was betraying or forgetting about his dad if he called this other man "dad" so he called him "poppy" after a bit. Just now, after 15 years, does he refer to them as "mom and dad". Is there another pet name you could call your step-mom that you would be more comfortable with? Mama, or some other variation of mother?
Whatever you choose, I don't think you need worry about insulting your real mother. I'm certain she would be very happy that you found someone you felt close enough to to call mom. :)
2007-03-23 10:29:38 · answer #5 · answered by Emmy F 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say you should ask your stepmom. Tell her what you feel (basically what you wrote). You are in no way squishing the memory of your mother in doing this. Your mom very probably had a hand in sending this woman into your fathers life for a reason and that was to watch over you in ways she no longer could. Hug your step mom and thank your lucky stars you are not living a cinderella story with the Evil stepmother life!
You are blessed and you should thank her for doing it. You may be surprised how much this might mean to her too!
Good luck
2007-03-23 10:27:18 · answer #6 · answered by KUJayhawksfan* 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should call her Mom if you feel that she loves you like her own. Your real mom & your stepmom would love you more for this because of the respect you're showing by calling her 'Mom'. I even think that maybe your deceased mom must have matched your Dad & your stepmom before. You never know, this things happen coz i've read this kind of stuff before from a very renowned psychic who talks to dead persons. I don't think your real mom won't mind it that you'll start calling your stepmom a 'mom'. She would be proud of you, instead.
2007-03-23 13:16:20 · answer #7 · answered by dith'song 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your mom would be proud that you have someone in your life that treats you so well. There is nothing wrong with having more than one mom. Don't think of it as replacing your mom, but just think of your stepmom as another mom. As a mom, I find this question really hard to think about because you never want to leave your children, but if I had to, I would definately hope that they had a strong female figure. You will always love your mom and your mom knows that as well as your stepmom.
2007-03-23 10:36:43 · answer #8 · answered by BeThAnY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your mom would want you to be happy, all of you, including you and your dad. It's very hard to start a mixed family like that, and she deserves a lot of respect for what she's doing.
My dad's mom died when he was very young (like 4, I think) and his dad remarried. My grandpa already had 7 kids, and my dad's step-mom raised them as best she could. (She wasn't always as nice as they would have liked, but I think she did a good job.) I can't imagine marrying someone with 7 kids! I'm very glad that my dad's step-mom did, though.
I'm sure your mom would approve of you calling your step-mom "mom."
2007-03-23 13:17:44 · answer #9 · answered by calliope320 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so glad that you get along with your stepmom. There are so many wicked stepmother...and stepdaugter...stories. You have a great story.
As for calling her mom, well, I have FOUR women that I refer to as "mom"....only one of them gave birth to me! You are not besmirching her memory at all. I believe that she's happy that your dad married a wonderful woman who came into her family and made things good. If you are comfortable calling her mom, you would probably make her day/life/millenium!
Thank you for an uplifting story...they are few and far between here! :)
2007-03-23 11:35:50 · answer #10 · answered by Fotomama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to tell you what you already know.Your mom would be happy just knowing you have someone in your life who can be there for you as a mom since she has died.She would have hoped that you would never feel lonely and would want you to live your life and reach for the stars.i think your step mom would be happy to know you love her like a mom, regardless of what you call her.She knows she can't replace your mom but she can fill that void for you and help make your life complete.Love wears many faces and is called by many names.Your mom knows you loved her and you will never forget her.Call your step-mom the name you feel comfortable with.Your mom would have been proud of you( and I can guarantee your dad is).Take care.
2007-03-23 10:29:35 · answer #11 · answered by gussie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋