I have written previously about my ex who ended things 6 wks ago when "her feelings changed". Just before things ended I thought she was depressed (she has a history). She went to the Dr who prescribed prozac & counselling. 1 Wk later she said she wasn't depressed, didn't need counselling & said our relationship was the cause of her unhapiness. She ended things.
She got back into contact with me but has been hot and cold. We met up and everything was good, I rang her a few days later and suggested another meet up & she made excuses. She seems to want to speak on the phone & chat to me but wants to keep me at a distance.
I have decided there is no point carrying on with things in limbo. I wrote to her & suggested to her we go out and do stuff together for a few weeks and see where things go. It may be we do have a future, it may be we don't after that & can be friends. I told her it was pointless being somewhere in between.
How long should I wait before saying I need to know?
2007-03-23 03:02:22 · 11 answers · asked by bepositive1976 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
One week to tell her it is over, over.
2007-03-23 03:11:48 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've read your many posts on this subject and I am wondering why you feel the need to be at her beck and call like this? Maybe you are a bit depressed? You have given her every opportunity and more to behave in a way appropriate to you and she refuses. If you don't contact her she'll come running - if you do contact her she'll act cold. And now you are giving her another 'few weeks' to give you the run around.
You need to decide what you want - the runaround like a puppet for the next few months/years until she grows tired finally or a life free of that kind of hassle but maybe without a partner for a few weeks/months.
I also feel that if you are 'friends' - as you think you can be after, that it will still constitute in both your minds as a hold on the other.
As for your question, I would give her 4 days after she received the letter to reply and write you back. Anything longer than that is pulling your strings as she has already, according to you, had many weeks to decide.
2007-03-23 10:13:34 · answer #2 · answered by suebnm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first question is are you ex as in divorced? or ex as in ex boyfriend? Either way she has given you mixed signals & I think that the stronger signal is she wants you only on her terms which isn't a good thing for you! If you really care about her you'll let her go, because in the long run you're the one who'll get hurt, because it won't be 50/50 from the start. And you shouldn't start out hoping things will just get better, because you can't changer her, only she change herself. You'll be doing yourself a favor if you just move on right now. And, yes it'll hurt for a while, but if you keep trying for her, you'll probably regret it in the end. Sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear. Best of luck!
2007-03-23 03:16:13 · answer #3 · answered by tbeargin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your X wants a friend instead of a lover. As you said you have tried everything and she still is hot and cold. It maybe she has another lover on the side. If I were you I would put my foot down and tell her this Is how it is going to be and she has 1 week to make up her mind and If she doesn't set her free and find you someone who Is worthy of you They are always someone for everybody. I know it is hard when you love someone, But remember If you love something set It free If It comes back It's yours If It don't It never was!
2007-03-23 03:21:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she doesnt even know what she wants, so deciding to start up a relationship is the least thing on her mind at the moment. Just be a friend for her right now.
if you really wanna know a answer to your question probably about 2 months. but i dont think you should just block her out of your life, she talks to you on the phone for comfort, she can confide in you. maybe you are taking it all the wrong way, maybe she just wants to continue as close friends and with you keep asking to meet for drinks shes saying no to keep you at a distance untill you realise that it will just be a friends thing for now.
2007-03-23 03:11:11 · answer #5 · answered by Fader's Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid with depression and mental health problems people will be ok one day and very low the next. It could be a long time before your girl sorts herself out. I think your take on things is the most sendible way. Give it a try for a bit longer but let it go if no success over the next month or so. It will only bring you down in the end if this drags on.
2007-03-23 03:14:57 · answer #6 · answered by Sylvia C 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i replaced into with a guy for a month that did issues like u have achieved. He might say hurtful issues, and then we'd be large for slightly, and then he might do it back. It made me sense like this guy is properly volatile along with his thoughts. i think of she is probable thinking how mean you have been to her, even although you be apologetic approximately it, as quickly as its obtainable its not straightforward to take it back. If she relatively does look once you, and needs it to artwork, she would be waiting to return around. i think of you will possibly desire to back off for slightly. You look a lil overbearing, and that i think of shes probable taken back via it. possibly touch her after a week or so, yet til then act like ur your doing large, be happy. Then possibly purely deliver her an digital mail or some thing, asserting how your sorry for a fashion you acted, and you think of she is a huge individual and purely wish you could pals no less than.
2016-10-19 10:13:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't wait at all- is sounds like she has serious issues that you can't help unless she's willing to help herself. Otherwise, she's trying to get out of the relationship but still leave you hanging. Either way you come out a looser unless she changes. I would cut it off and tell her you want to stay friends, but don't just be a crutch for her. People won't change unless THEY want to.
2007-03-23 03:42:24 · answer #8 · answered by Cat804 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is your ex for a reason, walk away now, life is too short to live in the past
move on be positive and positive things will come your way,good luck
2007-03-23 08:08:31 · answer #9 · answered by R Smidnight chester 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but move on. It sounds like she doesn't know what she wants at the moment so shes just going to keep you hanging on a shoe string if you let her.
2007-03-23 03:11:31 · answer #10 · answered by mishnbong 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you really love her & she loves you then do your best to work it out but it has to be a 2 way thing (both of you working on the realtionship).
If it's one way,just you, then forget it. It doesn't sound healthy. she sounds confused, I think you should look for a healthier relatinship which makes you happy & loved.
2007-03-23 08:05:00 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋