Do any other mothers of 4 kids find it hard or is it just me.?

Question

I find it so stress ful. i think ive taken on too much of a responsability. Kids need undivided attention and its hard to go four ways,
Also the workload. The mess. The cooking.
Some times i cant handle it.

Answer 1

I have 4 kids and one on the way! lol...The mess, I won't even go there. It's impossible!! You probably just need a good break and a day to pamper yourself and you will feel much better. I get really stressed and I know when I am getting to that point now and need a break so I have to take it. How old are your children? My children are 9,7,3, and 2. We stay soooo busy! My older children both play basketball, soccer, and baseball. That gets us out of the house and sometimes just being in the house too much will make you even more stressed! My kids get their individual attention. When my husband is home and I have to go somewhere, I will take one of the kids with me that way we can talk without everyone else interupting. We also are together as a family a lot. You will find a way to balance it all. If your kids are babies or toddlers, it will get easier as they get more independant. I thought that I was going to go crazy after I had my last son because he was only 16 mos younger than my daughter and it was so hard to adjust to. I really think that you deserve a much needed break! I bet that will make you feel better.

Answer 2

I'm one of four kids, so I'm speaking from the kid standpoint, not the mom standpoint..

I won't deny for a minute that our little troop was a handful for my mom, especially since my dad died when I was about six, so she basically did it all on her own. fortunately, we were spaced far enough apart that when me and the next kid up (I'm the youngest) came along, the older two were old enough to help out with chores and eventually babysitting. Still, if I had a nickel for every time I heard my mother say "Fifteen years of high school parent meetings!!" to someone, I think I'd be pretty well off.

The payoff in the end, though, is that I have three siblings whom I love very much. We're all very supportive of each other and especially of my mom--we recognize the sacrifices that she made to make life better for us..she never gave up or took the easy way out. She always made sure that if she wasn't home when we got out of school, that we could stay with family until she was, and she always made time to read to us and help with homework, and teaching us to sew, cook, etc... and all that stuff that two parent households often have a hard time finding time for. Upon reflection, I think she must have had a time machine to be everywhere at once!

I can't even imagine how hard it is for you--I've set a limit for myself of two kids tops just because I don't want to deal with four kids at a time! All I can say is that it may not be today or tomorrow, but your kids will one day see all that you've done for them with grown up eyes...and they will be forever grateful (and probably very humbled).

Thanks for being such a good mom (and be sure to put those kids to work helping with chores as soon as they're able!)!

Answer 3

Ok, here's my situation. I have 2 that are biologically mine and then a niece and nephew that, because of their parent's stupidity, we now have in our home and I know having all that on your plate can be very stressful.

Depending on the ages, mine are 17, 15, 14, & 8, make a "chore schedule" ours includes participating in cooking, laundry, vacuuming, weekly cleaning chores, etc. We divided it in to teams of two. Including EVERYONE in the house hold, both parents and the children. We found doing it this way made the kids feel included instead of "put out" or that they were doing all the work. Keep in mind the ages of the children and their skills and abilities. When the kids were young, we involved them in the dishes, cooking, or laundry by purchasing step stools for each that they carried from room to room for participation in the chores that they couldn't reach from standing on the floor. Step stools were sturdier than a chair or something else. It gives them a sense of ownership for something and it was something that they had to be responsible for.

You have to be aware that it's a part and parcel of being a parent. The younger the children the more attention they need.

Feel free to email me if you need more ideas or want to share their ages, and I can help you come up with age appropriate activities. You can also try http://flylady.com They have AWESOME tips on how to manage a crazy household and help you get a grip on things that might be out of hand, best of all, their information and tips are free. You can later buy the books if you want but they aren't necessary, everything else is free!!!

Answer 4

You are only human. Four kids is a lot of work. Try to be organized and plan ahead as much as you can. Try cooking meals that take less time (frozen pop in the oven type or dump and cook) crock pot meals and premade stuff is ok to use and it is better than no meal. Make sure your kids are dong their part, they should help mommy out. Have them pick up toys, clean up their spot after a meal, etc. Also make sure you are taking time for you! Remember your kids are only young once so enjoy them! You do not have to do it all, you do not have to be super mom and your family will still love you! Set goals for each day and only do what you can.

Here are some fun/good sites to check out:
http://www.crazedmoms.com/
http://www.busymomsrecipes.com/
http://www.mommytips.com/

Answer 5

I have four children. I could not imagine a day without them. Yes they get on my nerves so bad sometimes that i could just run and hide. It takes so much Patience and love. I often take a day with just one child at a time and do something with them. So they feel special and individual. Even if it just running to the store they love it . Cooking is like serving an army and that gets worse as they get older. My children are old enough that they help with the workload we take turns doing just about every chore in the house . Most of all enjoy your me time cause it probably does not come very often.I know that my don't. But when i get it i use it for all it is worth. We all feel like things are to stressful at times but you just have to hold your head up and go on. Our children look up to us and learn from our actions and they respond to our actions.
Things do get better

Answer 6

My wife and i are proud parents to four kids, 12, 11, 10, 9.
All close together, but i must say bringing them up, dealing with social and personal issues, and then with my 12 year old boy theres the issue of girl friends and dating.
For those of you whos children are still young, or are planning to have more than 2, i suggest that you have a long hard think about it, but no matter how hard it is, the rewards always out weigh the hard work

Answer 7

I only have 2 and find it hard. My oldest is 4 and youngest is 2 1/2, even at those young ages, they can be given chores. I make mine clean up their room for the most part and help set & clear the table (you have to have those hard pastic plates though!)
I'm sure you are doing better than you think. Also, even if your husband works full-time, he can help too. Mine does, well, we both work full time. But your job is 24/7 and he should help out. Also, as long as the mess isn't dirty like food or laundry, you can leave it. Given the choice between spending time w/the kids or picking up their toys, spend time with them.
My mom had 5 kids, once we got older, it got easier for her. She just gave each something to do. So, it should get easier. Don't be so down on yourself!

Answer 8

Gosh! I never get caught up! I have 4 kids (4, 6, 9 & 12) and they keep me busy. I also take care of 4 other kids during the day. The house is always a wreck! Other than my short "me" time while they free play in the morning I am always busy and stressed!

Three of the kids are in gymnastics. Everyone keeps telling me I am crazy that I just enrolled all of them on soccer! I get off at 5:20 and they have to be at practice at 5:30. M &Tues is gymnastics and the rest of the week is soccer. On top of that we have other activities going on. Trying to fit dinner in and keep it healthy has been a challenge. I have started freezer cooking and it has helped out a great deal. I just pop something in the oven or crock and let it cook. I am usually up late trying to get the house in some kind of order before the kids come back in the morning. Weekends I struggle with free time and cleaning.

Just try to schedule some time for yourself. Have your husband or someone take them to the park. Take a bubble bath after they are in bed. It's important to take a little "me" time.

I don't know how old your kids are but get them involved. Mine like to help fix dinner, set the table, etc. I also give them a chore list for Saturdays. We all try to work together to get the jobs done. Though it usually takes quite some time for them to get their pet cages done. Sometimes they think I am trying to ruin their weekend! It helps them to know that they will get to go do something fun with we're done!

Best wishes!

Answer 9

I understand where your coming from.I'm a mother of 3 and it can be hectic. But try getting your kids on schedules. Like when they get home from school by this time you start dinner and by this time they do homework,showers ,bedtime ,etc... that will help you out a little. Hang in there. When they give you hugs and tell you i love you mom at the end of the day. It makes you forget about how hectic your day was.

Answer 10

HAHA
I have one kid and one on the way..and I find it sooo hard. I keep thinking "OMG, how am I gonna handle two?"
hehe
I think you just need to take some breaks. Have a bath, or get a sitter and go out with your husband and spend time with other adults. Try and balance your life so that you don't crack up :)
I'm sure it's worth it and you'll be fine.
Relax. take a deep breath and imagine how weird life would be without them. :)

What you are feeling sounds completely normal to me. Good luck and a big pat on the back for taking on such a huge responisibility :)
Good for you mama!