My daughters bday is in a couple weeks and we are having a pool party at a local hotel.School friends, family, cake etc.. My MIL is giving me a hard time about making time for her gifts. She will not bring them to the party.She always wants a special session for her gifts so she can get the appropriate reaction and thanks. Believe me, comments are made if its not the reaction she wanted. The older I get the less I want to put up with this manipulative behavior so this year I simply said no. You would think that I had slapped her. I'm not trying to pick a fight or be the bad guy but this drives me nuts!!!!!!! Am I wrong to not give her her way or should I stick to my decision?
2007-03-23 02:51:59 · 14 answers · asked by Ee 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are having a party, she is free to attend and present her gifts there like everybody else. They day is about your daughter not her.
If she would really like to have that special time with your daughter perhaps suggest that she take you daughter out for a birthday dinner or arrange an activity that isn't going to put you in the position of having to plan a secondary event.
2007-03-23 02:55:52 · answer #1 · answered by smedrik 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are wrong. The old expression that you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth applies. If the gift giver wants to make a big deal out of the giving, so what. So let her come to your house and give the gifts to your daughter instead of at the party. How does this hurt you? Besides, why is a little special time with Grandma a bad thing? You aren't the only one with feelings, she has them too.
Believe me there are worse things your MIL could be doing.
2007-03-23 03:11:32 · answer #2 · answered by chinamigarden 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Surely there is a way that everyone can be happy.
Just because you are planning the party and everything, doesn't mean that your daughter won't have the chance to spend some time with her grandmother, to open presents and everything. It's not like it's an all-day thing, to get some quality time together.. and it surely won't interfere in your plans or anything.
There's no need to get defensive about something so simple. I think it's great that your mother-in-law wants to go about giving your daughter presents in a way where's it's pesonal, and appreciative. I would think, that as her mother.. you would want that as well.
Have a wonderful day!
2007-03-23 03:03:09 · answer #3 · answered by arkiegirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you may both be right. If she wants the "special" time during the party and you don't want it then that's your right. As the party planner it's your job to put the party activities together.
If your MIL wants a special big deal some other time it's up to *her* to plan the time and place and I wouldn't say no to that. Like if she wanted to take your DD out the night before or after and present only her presents then it's her plan and as long as it didn't interfere with plans you already had I'd say OK.
2007-03-23 06:50:29 · answer #4 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh geez, all MIL s are so. you are the mom, the head of the family and she is a manipulator to the highest order. damn right you put your foot down. this is your family, your kid and you are organizing the party so anybody else with their own agenda should just suck salt! let her know that she can feel free to bring the gifts at a time convenient to you and ignore the BS that will go on during the gift opening. when u ignore the BS and keep putting your foot down, your MIL will understand that you are not a doormat and will have greater respect for you as the head of the household. good luck.
2007-03-23 03:09:06 · answer #5 · answered by just curious 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
These are your children. You can rear them any way you want to, and there is nothing wrong with telling her she can present the kids with gifts when everyone else does. I think it's so funny how particular MIL's can be. Like they are somehow the be all, end all. Listen up, MIL's you are not the center of the universe. Get a grip and start thinking about someone other than yourselves. Sheesh!
2007-03-23 02:56:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I can understand why this behavior annoys you but do you really want to start a fight over where your daughter opens her presents. As long as your daughter remembers to say thank you then she really has nothing to complain about. I think this is being made out to be a bigger deal then it needs to be.
2007-03-23 03:04:59 · answer #7 · answered by manda 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont think your wrong i think your mother in law is being kind of selfish. Your daughter can still give her thanks for the gifts that she recieves along with the rest of the people who brought gifts. you can tell her she can either come and celebrate with your daughter with the rest of the family or forget it. Tell her this day is not about her its about your daughter and her happiness and she can just get over it.
2007-03-23 03:01:21 · answer #8 · answered by tcameron_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she won't bring them to the party then that is a loss to your daughter. your mil should realize that. however, if your husband is willing, have him take you daughter over to her house another day to get her presents. you stay home. that way you don't have to deal with the drama.
2007-03-23 03:00:43 · answer #9 · answered by racer 51 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh let her have
her way, my MIL
was way worse
but has mellowed w/
age. What's the big
deal about giving her
glory, doesn't sound
like something to
make a major issue
over.
2007-03-23 02:55:51 · answer #10 · answered by Cher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋