I am doing the programs for a good friend of mine's wedding. Her 1st husband passed away 5 years ago and she is remarrying this fall. She wants on her programs a section about honoring people she was close with whom have passed. She asked me if it would be tacky to include her 1st husband. I think not since he was the father of her only child and a great person. What do you think?
2007-03-23 02:48:52 · 12 answers · asked by TinaSmiley 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Weddings aren't the time to be bringing up vivid memories of those who have passed away. You're best bet is to include a statement in remembrance of all those who has passed away like, "In remembrance of the loved ones that could not be with us today; the couple would like to dedicate the floral arrangement at the front of the church to them." If they want to include an, "epecially..." and list relatives, I would think it would be fine to include the husband who passed away since he is the child's father. But a big statement about anybody who's passed away is not appropriate at a wedding. Good luck!
2007-03-23 03:39:02 · answer #1 · answered by jennyss 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a wedding guest who would be reading the program, I think I might think it a little strange to see something like that in a program. I'm not sure exactly why I think this, but I do. Something about it just seems a little off, almost like its reminding everyone that had he not passed away this wedding wouldnt even be happening. This wouldnt be the same as mentioning passed grandparents, it was her husband, I dont know. What I am saying sounds good in my head, but not good when I read it. I hope you can make sense of what I am saying.
2007-03-23 10:30:14 · answer #2 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, it's just not appropriate at all to include that type of information in the program. And there should be no mention of her deceased husband at all on that day. Should she want to recognize parents or grandparents who had passed away, she would do that when she gives her thank yous at the reception.
2007-03-24 08:16:08 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that I would put that on there, 1. because she is starting alife with someone else, and 2. she needs to move and just keep him in her memory. 3. Her future husband may not like the thought of that and may think she is really not ready to make that final step of being his wife. It is good that she thinks of him and it is horrible for her loss, but if she is to move on, she needs to make a clean sweep. I hope you understand what I am saying.
2007-03-23 13:21:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's most important to consider the feelings of her new soon to be husband. If he's okay with it, I think it would be okay to include him by name only. I probably would not include any reference to how he was related, because there's just no tactful way of doing so.
2007-03-23 10:02:59 · answer #5 · answered by Silver_Stars 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how the fiancee feels, but also how the child feels about her father and the new stepdad.
Make sure there aren't any unresolved issues.
2007-03-23 10:04:43 · answer #6 · answered by Lalo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to ask her fiance. as long as it's worded as her child's father and not her 1st husband, I think it would be ok.
2007-03-23 09:55:26 · answer #7 · answered by ste.phunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
should be fine but make sure she passes it by her new hubby-to-be. he shouldn't have a problem but should know what's going on. you don't want him to find a surprise of her last husband on the program - keep him well informed and happy :)
GodBless!
2007-03-24 01:36:54 · answer #8 · answered by Ashley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there are other ways to memorialize him; but it's her option......it's just that it will leave that lingering feeling that obviously, she wouldn't be marrying if her husband hadn't died; makes the new guy second choice....which is he is, but it doesn't need to be pointed out to everyone
2007-03-23 09:58:53 · answer #9 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think it really all dependson how the groom feels about it. If he doesn't mind it, then I'd say, go ahead!!
2007-03-23 09:54:24 · answer #10 · answered by fwog_fwog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋