Have you ever felt a buzz from drinking the wine (blood of Christ) at Church?

Question

i guzzle.
so, yes i have.

Answer 1

Not usually. But one time the pastor starting going on about Pascal's Wager, and as a result, I got falling down drunk. I stumbled up to the organ and played "Let It Be" really loud, and then tried going up into the pulpit, but tripped on the steps and they caught me and dragged me out the back door behind the choir loft. Then they gagged me and took me into the "crying room" and beat the heck out of me and told me that when I went back I'd better claim that God had just saved my life from a brutal attack by liberal atheists, or they'd come get me again and do the job right the next time.

I slowly dragged myself back towards the pews, but at the last moment, when they were distracted by a particularly leggy parishioner, I broke free and ran out the back of the church. As I raced across the parking lot, I realized that if I could only make it into the park, I was home free. I practically grew up back in that park, while the church goons never left the parking lot.

I raced towards the cliff, where a little path runs down the side under some weeds and bushes. Looking back, I could see they were hot on my heels, shouting "you'll repent on your deathbed!" and "you just hate being held accountable!". I put on a burst of speed, and rather than heading for the path, I leapt straight off of the cliff, then grabbed a tree branch and swung over into the tree directly over the path. The goons stopped dead in their tracks, mouths agape, and I heard one of them say "My god, we DID evolve from apes! Let's get that damned Pastor Beinke! He lied to us!".

I walked over to the river and washed the blood off of my face and hands, and then just sat back to catch my breath. In the distance, I could hear the pastor's screams for a few seconds before they were drowned out by loud organ notes introducing "A Whiter Shade of Pale".

Answer 2

Jesus said "this is my body and my blood" He is talking about the Bride of Christ, which Paul describes as Christ's body, which acts with Christ as the head. When we take communion we are saying "make me part of your body Lord" It is a means to create a vast mindlink among faithful, communicant Christians. It creates power baby, real power. Even after death our minds remain linked. This is how we are going to bring forth the future and rule the earth. You won't even realise its happening until there is peace, an end of poverty, and righteousness flowing like a might river.

Answer 3

We use grape juice at my church! Not real wine, in individual tiny little Communion cups not one big chalice that everyone drinks from (ugh) A person cant guzzle juice fron a tiny cup.

Answer 4

The preacher spikes it.