men: 3some?

Question

Hi there. A few days ago I suggested that me and my bf of 2 years have a 3some with another girl. I confessed I had been secretly fantasising about it. And guess what: he said he wouldn't like that. I feel so foolish now, almost like a per.vert. And I'm soooo confused - I thought all guys would jump at the opportunity. Why did he turn it down???

Answer 1

Well most guys probably would go for it, but how many guys actually think that it has actually taken away something from their relationship. Certainly I am sure he has thought about it and even desired it but maybe he has thought about the after event feelings. Maybe you should ask him?
Some fantasy's are best left as that and maybe that is how he feels, it may tarnish your relationship.

Answer 2

There are a lot of reasons why he might have turned this down. The simplest would of course be if he had a threesome in the past that didn't go well, and he didn't want to repeat the experience. Or he might have had a friend who had a threesome that didn't go well, and therefore had the idea that they are nothing but problems.
Or it could be that he has a good thing going with you (sounds like that at least) and he isn't willing to risk it on an experiment.
Or it could be that you're an active enough woman in bed and he has enough trouble keeping up with just you, and he doesn't think he could handle two women.
Or it could be that he doesn't agree with your taste in women, and would rather have just you than you and a girl you'd pick out, but doesn't want to waste the time and energy looking for another girl himself. (Again, back to the good thing with you.)
Or it could be that he's afraid you'll leave him for the other woman, or that you'll be dissapointed him him paying attention to the other girl.

Answer 3

Yes most guys would love too have 2 women, but just that, "most guys" . You obviously don't have one. He seems to be more turned on by sharing you with guys than with girls. I guess this is what makes the world go round. Different strokes for different folks. Don't feel foolish or perverted. This just happens to be your fantasy. Express to him how turned on you get and give him some time to get used to the idea. He just may come around.

Answer 4

he may have thought it was a test, to see if he jumped at the idea or rightly (normally) dismissed the idea.
Sadly while a threesome is a common fantasy not EVERY man wants one, especially if he is love with a woman.

in the forst few months of a relationship he may have jumped at the idea. no way to say now.

to be honest even if he does not want a threesome now he should not have dismissed the idea completely.

talk to him again about the idea. tell him that you love him but you thought it would be a great treat for him to bring someone else in. He will probably again dismiss the idea. ask him to explain his reasons clearly "he would not like that" is not a valid reason.
this is your fantasy not his and if you love someone then making a fantasy come true (depending on what that is) can and should be done.

just my opinion.


as i said he may love you and only you. so bringing someone else in may be a turn off to him. all you can do is talk this out with him. asking him to explain as clearly and in as much detail as he is able to!

Answer 5

I would like to call him a fool but sexuality and intimacy are different for everyone. Two reasons I can think of are: shyness or (for lack of a better word) anti-gay?
Maybe he's not comfortable enough with his body or his sexual performance to be comfortable with another person in the bed...even if it is another girl. I don't know if it would help but you could make sure to compliment his performance and his looks for a few months and then ask again? Kinda risky though.
Some people are really put off by two people of the same sex being intimate, regardless if it's men or women. He could feel strongly enough about it to make any chance of a threesome out of the question?
Something else just occurred to me...maybe my last reason is completely wrong and he'd prefer to have a threesome with another guy and you?
Wow! I don't think I've helped you at all here, have I? Sorry.

Answer 6

Maybe he thinks it will change the relationship. He doesn't want to ruin what you have. Don't worry. He loves you. Maybe also he's afraid you will want a 3 some with another man if you give him a 3 some. Men are very jealous about that type of 3 some.

Answer 7

Being a man, Yes, I would jump at it--like you said. But obviously, he loves you too much and won't like even the possibility of losing you!
Perhaps fantasies should be compared and when shared, only then action taken. Even now, why feel foolish? You just shared a fantasy, not reality. Relax!
If I feel like killing him and it is only in my mind, nobody will object: if I do it, I will be in jail all my life! See the diff?

Answer 8

3somes only work if you care little for either woman. To be honest, I wouldn't share someone I loved with a man or a woman, no matter how great the fantasy seems.

You should be flattered.

Answer 9

A lot of people fantasize about sexual things that they would never really do. I have often suspected that the fact that so many men always appear eager to engage in a threesome with two women is a manifestation of that fact. I used to playfully suggest a threesome to my ex-wife on a continuing basis, confident that she would say no.

Personally, I have no idea what I would possibly do with two naked women. I can barely handle one.

Answer 10

I would have said no also because I feel that sex is between a man and his wife and only that way. Maybe he feels the same (except that its girlfriend).

He probably turned in down because he does not care about pleasing another woman just you. You should seriously consider that he really really is in love with you.