We've been going out for almost eight months. I said it first a month ago, to which he only caressed me and told me he was flattered. He realized he didn't know what real love was because he thought it meant only that "butterly feeling" he hasn't felt since he was a teenager. He has since said it, but only after I say it. It never comes from him first. He's great and treats me with respect though. Should I not obsess so much on three little words?
2007-03-23 01:15:44 · 15 answers · asked by dvskitten 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Some people find it very difficult to say "I love you" and there is nothing wrong with that. My mother is like that and it really used to bother me, but I've gotten over it now. I know she loves me by her actions. If you're the type of person who needs to hear it (I am), you're either going to have to learn to accept that some people just can't say it or find someone else who can. Perhaps he's young and not really sure how love feels. I'll tell you one thing though ... the "butterly fly" feeling he thinks is love isn't love ... it's infatuation, which can often be the beginning of love, but not always. What's more important is how he treats you. I always say actions speak louder than words. When I was very young and stupid, I married a man who had no problem telling me he loved me. He also had no problem giving me black eyes. So what does it all boil down to? The way he treats you will tell you if he REALLY loves you and it sounds to me like he does.
2007-03-23 01:24:17 · answer #1 · answered by Emily Dew 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all I'm glad your in a committed relationship where you have someone to love and trust. Now you might be making a big mistake getting all worked up over this. You don't have to fall in love at the same time. Like you said before he's not really sure what real love is so it might take him a while to realize. As long as you have good communications, and you love and respect each other, there shouldn't be any worries for now. If your really serious give it 2 years to really found out if he's the one for you.
2007-03-23 08:27:31 · answer #2 · answered by Peggy G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love BBQ sandwiches. I say it to the sandwich before I eat. "Darling succulent lunch, how I love you."
But those are just words. When dating, never listen to just words, or stress about just words. Look at actions. Look at what he does and see if he does it with love in his heart. Not the romantic things guys have learned over the years, like car doors and walking on the street side on a sidewalk, but the little things he does without complaint that make your life easier and make you feel wanted.
Also, look into his eyes and see if you can sense what he is thinking. Is it a soulful stare down into you, or is it a glassly-eyed glance that says 'somewhere, someplace, there is a football game on TV and I'm missing it.'
But don't just look for words. You want words, marry a librarian. You want love, find someone who feels it and treats you with it, even if they don't say it.
2007-03-23 08:24:03 · answer #3 · answered by apleyden 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey this is angel, please b careful, i was in a situtation like that once, but later found out he never loved me at all. im not saying he doesnt luv u cause some guys have a harder time showing their feelings than others, and then there r guys who just want u 4 1 thing, i think us 2 should sit down and talk about this , and hopefully when u do it will ease ur mind .
2007-03-23 08:25:27 · answer #4 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you NEED to hear those words constantly, then maybe this guy isn't for you. Actions speak louder than words. You say he is great and treats you with respect. Maybe you should figure out why you can't be satisfied with that.
2007-03-23 08:20:45 · answer #5 · answered by I_hope_I_know 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those three little words mean a lot. Maybe he's not completely there yet. Don't pressure him into loving you back yet. You'll know when he's telling the truth about it. He might just be nervous. I hope this helps
nicole
2007-03-23 08:19:07 · answer #6 · answered by nicole 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By the way he treats you. Do not obsess on 3 words. Action
speaks louder than words.
2007-03-23 08:18:55 · answer #7 · answered by dgreer58 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt always had to be said but it is not to hear it first rathe then as a responce. If hes treating you good then i wouldnt stress over it maybe try not saying it so much to him and see if he starts to pick it up. you never know
2007-03-23 08:20:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is a verb.. it's demonstrated through one's actions.. talk is cheap.. many guys will tell you they love you just to get what they want from you.. think about how he treats you.. does he put your needs above his own? or is he more concerned about pleasing himself? these are the ways to tell if he really loves you.. not by what he says..
2007-03-23 08:20:34 · answer #9 · answered by Byakuya 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no he doesnt love you. and yes you should worry. if you like him more he has the advantage in the relationship. and if he doesnt love you then he will use you for things he wants. even if hes a good guy, if you love him but he doesnt love you then you need to slow down.
2007-03-23 08:19:15 · answer #10 · answered by Carcin Ogin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋