My mother died of breast cancer 4 years ago. My father started seeing a woman about 6 months later. Ever since our relationship has become very frosty. I feel that he doesn't see me or my sister in his 'new' life anymore.
2007-03-23 00:27:31 · 17 answers · asked by guapita 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
just talk to him.
2007-03-23 00:30:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well sorry for ur mum. Look u think that ur relationship with ur father is frosty, true that nobody can replace ur mother.
Go ahead and speak to ur father about what u feel, tell him that he's been neglecting both of u.
And as far as the other woman is concerned, let ur father see her maybe thats what makes him happy.
If there's anything u can do is speak to ur father, tell him that u have no problem wid her girl friend or whatever and at the same time u guys need his attention. Maybe he'll start thinkingabout it, n soon he'll realise that what he's doing is wrong...All the best...
2007-03-23 00:38:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think this is a bit of a tricky one. What would you do if the love of your life died? You have two grown up children and you feel completely alone? Your dad did what most people do when they lose someone, he needed some comfort and love. I bet he loved your mum and that she probably told him to not be alone once she had gone. I know that 6 months seems a quick time but don't be fooled, your dad may still be grieving and may be very unhappy. You should talk to him about it. Men can be very guarded about their feelings though. He may resent you and your sister for being able to cope with it, for being able to grieve. Your dad loves you and yes you should be part of his 'new' life but give him time.
Chin up chuck xx
2007-03-23 01:14:48 · answer #3 · answered by moopoppet 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You probably don't want to talk to him, because you feel that talking to him represents some kind of complete approval of his actions after your mom's death. You'll always pay the price for any extreme in relationships- loving too much, hating too much, or distancing yourself too much.
Start a mild dialogue with him, and if he still remains frosty, you will realize you have done your part. 99% of the world does not know you have this stalemate with your father, and 99% of the world will not think of you differently either way.
2007-03-23 00:36:30 · answer #4 · answered by joey k 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, talk to him and tell him how you feel. How are things going to get fixed if No communication is there? Im sure your dad misses your mom very much, but you should be happy for your father. He was probably lonely and needed someone, and he found that someone. No one will replace your mother, but you need to give your father a chance. You dont have to like the lady he is dating, but it would make things better in your realtionship.
2007-03-23 00:30:32 · answer #5 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you unfortunately lost your mother which I am sorry. Your father I am sure realized that life is so short and I am sure he thought of his own mortality. There is no real guideline to grieve so I wouldnt be so hard on him. I do think not seeing his children is very wrong. Alot of men have a hard time with communicating with their children when they are faced with any difficulty. I would call him and tell him you would like to talk to him and express your pain of his distance and try not to be too judgemental. Maybe he wasnt that in love in his marriage, maybe he couldnt stand the lonliness. Alot of people cannot put themselves in the mate that is left we expect the story book ending and story book behavior. I remember when my mother died we all expected her to grab our hands and tell us how wonderful we are to her. Instead she had us laughing on and off giving us hell for this or that. I will miss her always for her honesty. Give in alittle call your father. Its worth it you are missing out on time..and time is all we have..so call...
2007-03-23 00:49:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that even your father started seeing other woman maybe you should still have communication to him because he is still your father well we know that when a man left alone without the woman he loves by his side he finds another i guess he doesn't mean to hurt you your dad just want to find someone else who will give care and understand him the way your mom did. what is annoying is when your father find someone else when your mom is there. so all you have to do is just pray to God to enlightened your mind and ask him to guide you so that you will know what to do to unexpected situation.
2007-03-23 00:38:44 · answer #7 · answered by Princess Sunflower 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just as you are most likely going through a rough time, so is your dad. that kind of loss is really hard to take. so maybe, his relationship is his way of coping.
no matter what happens, you are still family. as part of the family, he deserves to know that you have your concerns. talk to him but make it clear that it isn't because of some selfish desire. it isn't fair that you and your sister would be cut out of his decisions because you are his primary family. you are his pride. he won't overlook you just like that. you mean a lot to him.
maybe he really needs time. of course, as his children, it's best you give him respect, patience and understanding. still, do not hesitate to be involved in his life. you are a family still and you should stick together.
2007-03-23 00:45:49 · answer #8 · answered by changing_sky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why? Is it because you pushed him away for taking a new woman? It could be that you might not recognize it but maybe you don't give your dad's new girlfriend a chance to make him happy!
Or
Maybe your dad feels guilty and feels that he doesn't have your consent because maybe he knows that the grieving time was very short.
Support him in it, life goes on you know!
Good luck
2007-03-23 00:36:48 · answer #9 · answered by poepies 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How do you feel about the "new woman"? Are you comfortable with it. There are tensions and feelings here, that aren't being expressed. Probably he is uncomfortable and wondering how you will react, and if you see it as a rejection of your mother.
Yes, I'd speak to him. But to reasure him that you like xxxx and are happy for him.
2007-03-23 01:00:41 · answer #10 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must talk to him but do not NAG or swear or be hostile in any way at all.....Ask him to meet you for lunch or dinner and talk to him nicely about how you feel..he will listen...I'll warn you though...males..they do not think like females...they are very selfish and except females to just KNOW that they care so tell him what you need to feel loved.....Good luck, sweetheart!
2007-03-23 00:32:02 · answer #11 · answered by angeleyez1956@verizon.net 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋