if someone has been abused?

Question

and more or less in every relationship been through abusiveness sexually,physically and mentally and kept it to themselves maybe just confiding in some people,but not ever talking about it to someone professionally and carried on as normal,would it eventually effect them in the long run??

Answer 1

In most cases I expect that it would effect them. A lot of people have unresolved issues later in life stemming from abuse suffered at a younger age or in a previous relationship.

Having suffered myself from sexual abuse as a child, and now the after-effects as an adult, I'd urge anyone who has been through any sort of abuse to seek help as soon as possible. In my experience, the longer you leave it, the bigger a problem it becomes. I thought if I ignored it, it would go away. It never did.

Resources and advice for Adult Survivors of child abuse:
http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/childabuse_survivors.php#adult

Answer 2

Hi,
at the moment i have been talking to a counsellor about something i have never mentioned to anyone before and even though I felt it probably never effected me, it is possible that something can have effected you unconcsciously, like yor actions were due to this but you never realised. I think if we keep anything seriously such as this bottled up, it will "effect" you in some shape or form, so it's best to tackle it. It may never effect you massively, but even if it's only troubling you at times, you don't deserve that burden so I would advise you to see someone, if this is the case.
Best of luck to you, I know how hard it can be considering counselling or getting any type of professional help!

Answer 3

Yes it will affect them but to varying degrees. People that have been abused in this way often have little or no self confidence, low self-esteem and poor body image. They also have problems trusting others. In more severe cases people can go on to develop eating disorders, self-harming behaviours, depression, anxiety, alcohol and drug dependancy and sometimes they may also try and commit suicide. Another problem that may develop is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). This consists of panic attacks,flashbacks to the traumatic events,night terrors and severe sleeping problems. Some people of course may not go on to develop any major problems like this, but it will undoubtedly have an impact upon their lives in some way, even if it is subtle. People who have been abused may also affect those around them in a negative way and on an unsubconscious level. For example, they may be craving love and affection, but instead, because they are unable to verbalise this, they may appear angry and unreachable, which ultimately pushes people away. Because they have also learned how to keep quiet about their abuse and cover it up from the outside world thay may become adept liars and possibly manipulative. Abuse has a devestating affect upon the abused and on the people that care and love for them. It is one of the worst crimes in humanity and although through treatment you may be able to move on with your life the memories never ever go away.

Answer 4

I was in a abusive relationship for 2 years & I lived across the country from family. I didnt tell anyone about what was going on I said oh im good every time they called. It has affected me but not in the way that it should. I think all abused people are affected their broken really. I have major trust issues and confidence issues. I still feel like I deserved it in some way.

Answer 5

Pick your therapist carefully though.
I have heard a few people after recieving therapy creating events that did not necessarily happen, but were 'suggested' by a well meaning therapist.

Sometimes it can be easier to go to someone of a religious background as they may not be inclined to fix blame onto a certain point in your life but may actually help you to deal with what has happened.

Answer 6

Expert eyes of people who have dealt with such patients can detect the underlying stress in the eyes of the person and the general demeanour. I adopt a very diplomatic approach. I ask them not to tell me whatever it is that is eating their peace of mind , but to write it down in the fullest details possible in chronological order and confirm that nothing at all is omitted, and then to burn the papers and bury the ashes or throw the ash away in water of flowing rivers. This works very well with literate patients, but those are illiterate were told to record the incidents in their own voice in a Tape Recorder and then to erase them fully. This method facilitates total privacy and at the same purges the patient's body and mind of the toxic effects of the trauma, and restores them soon to natural health.

Answer 7

Yes It would have to affect your self-esteem. The person should definately get counseling. Their self-esteem is already affected if they keep choosing the same sort of relationships over and over again. This person needs to learn to love themselves for who they are and then they will be able to search out a relationship that provides them the love and respect that they deserve.

Answer 8

Posssibly, if you dont choose to address it and deal with the reasons that you have attracted abusive men into your life.Low self esteem can cause you to go for these types of men, because deep down you dont feel you deserve any better.You have to begin by loving and accepting yourself and keep telling yourself you deserve a good partner, who treats you with love and respect, and break the cycle.good luck to you.

Answer 9

I'm in such a situation but not in a relationship with the people who're abusing me emotionally & mentally. It's poeple I can't get away from, neighbours & the latest one my landlord who lives above me, I can't move straight way so I am stuck for now. She does strange things like making unusally loud noises in the morning & if I complain she shouts at me & once tried to attack me (once flicked me on my arm!!!). also she has hidden one pair of my slippers left in in the patio. this mornign I woke up feeling like she's in her room staring at me ( maybe I am being paranoid but the thing is she nakes alot of noise in the morning & I was half-awake from the noise & when I opened my eyed it suddenly went all quiet). It's very scary & I don;t what to do or to turn to.she's a bully & doesn't like me becos I stand up to her, she hates anyone defying her,. she does all this & blames me as well; acting all innocent as if she's the victim!!!
the thing is I can't tell anyone as no-one belives me & everyone tells me it's my fault, which I know is not.
I do my best to stand out of people's way but somehow people like this are attracted to me & I'm feeling like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. I don't know what to do or who to talk to.
I don't know how it'll affect me but I do know what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, so I'll comeout of it much stronger or if i can't manage that it'll kill me. at the momnet, I feel like I'm losing it.
The worst part is I am beinf abused & no-body knows or belives me.

Answer 10

yes in a bad way this person should get some help because talking about it to the wrong person or people just keeps reinforcing the bad trauma it needs to be done properly

good luck

xxx