Thinking to break an almost perfect relationship after five years?

Question

I'm 22 years old and five years in a relationship with my girlfriend (she's 20). We are not models but we are both sport-types and we look pretty good in my opinion. We don't argue or fight much, everything's almost perfect. She is so happy, but I don't feel like that. I have a problem, very often in the last few months I have a feeling that she's not the one for me. (Girls, please don't call me names :) because I never cheated on my girl, I'm not in love with another and I look after her from the day one.) My question is: is it worth braking up with her just because of a feeling? Also, when I think about marrying her or having children with her I don't feel comfortable with it. My friends tell me that the decision about marrying someone should be the easiest one in your life but it's the hardest for me - I can't decide... Does that (perfect) love exist at all? Is it worth taking that risk and hurting her? If there are any married couples I would like to hear their advice too. Help! :(

Answer 1

Give your girlfriend the opportunity to find a husband who will love her truly.. Be fair to her. This is not just about you. But it's also about her and your future children..

If you don't feel you love her enough, don't enter marriage.. Bec marriage won't change the dilemma you're facing now. You'll be facing it again, even if you're married. Don't break someone's life by living in lies.

Save each other as early as possible...

Answer 2

When you say everything is almost perfect it hints to me that something is missing.

Look at your relationship... has it just become "stale"? Do you both make the effort - if not, why not? Do you feel she is holding you back in some way? Is the sex good & regular? Do you meet on an emotional, physical, spiritual, mental level?

Without these thinks the relationship will topple - think of a table with 4 legs - without one it makes a pretty shoddy table.

If you are feeling this way and coming on here - my guess is you are not communicating very well. Maybe if you sat and spoke to her about this she might also feel the same and not be as happy as you think she is!

Maybe she's too scared to say anything just becuase she thinks YOU'RE the happy one?

My advice is TALK to your girl - You clearly respect her so do yourself and her a favour ----- Communicate your problems to her.

I really hope you find the right path - Good luck Amigo!

Answer 3

I once had a boyfriend tell me, if you try to picture yourself in the future with someone and can't see yourself marrying or having children together, then you should call it quits.

If you're not happy, you're not happy. You can't go on disguising your feelings. If you do go ahead and marry the girl down the road, that could evenutally lead to you to looking elsewhere for happiness or even cheating.

What you should do is maybe take a break. Have yourself some guy time. Maybe plan a week or so just with you and your buddies. See if being free makes you feel happier than being with her.

And besides, you're young. Deciding to marry someone is a VERY big step, and if you have any hesitation or second thoughts, you should definitely listen to it.

Answer 4

Getting married is the biggest decision you'll make in your life. Don't do it unless you're confident you're making the right decision.

Having said that, I really don't understand what's making you feel that she isn't right for you. You've been together five years, so I have to assume that you like each other and get along quite well. I strongly suggest figuring out exactly what's bothering you before you throw away a relationship that you yourself describe as "almost perfect". Don't let the perfect become the enemy of the pretty darn good.

Answer 5

if u re in doubts i guess u should break it. u re too young to settle for smth not perfect. otherwise u will be 50 and unsettled and divorsed and there will be much much more problems. and yes, there re perfect relationships. i can't be an example cos i am not that long time married with my second husband, but we bith never had any doubts whether we should marry each otehr or not. and i have a friend of mine, she has been married since she was 26, now she is after 40 marreid with the same man, they love each other and i always use them as an example for myself whether true love exists. they are always together, nobody ever cheated on anybody, the now got second child after the first one grew up. so here u re - perfect relationships exist

Answer 6

Being together for 5 years is a long time, especially since you were both pretty young. If you're being together was the right thing for you, you probably wouldn't be having these feelings. Your feelings are telling you something and you need to listen to them. Take it slowly, but try to figure out what has changed in your relationship to cause you to question your long term commitment.

If you were meant to be together, it will happen - and you will come together again.

HUGS!
Talk with her honestly about what you are feeling. Maybe a little away time for both would tell you what your next step should be. Don't stay because you don't want to hurt her. Remember, this will hurt you too. But you need to listen to your feelings.

Answer 7

Don't throw away a 5 year relationship based on some vague feeling. You need to do some serious soul searching, talk to your girlfriend (a scary concept maybe, but it may work) If after that, you still feel that it isn't for you, THEN make the decision to leave.
Give yourself a chance to really think about your future and where you're going.
Good luck.

Answer 8

u may not have noticed it but something happened in ur relationship to make u feel this way about her now. it didn't happen all of a sudden either. it was there but u ignored it or brushed it off. maybe there is something on ur mind that u want to talk to her about but cant or wont and thats why u feel this way. try talking to her first to really see what the problem is (or go into some deep thinking by urdelf first) to make sure ur making the right decision......because u dont just fall out of love with someone after spending 5 yrs with them.- goodluck-

Answer 9

Well if your relationship iz that perfect then that iz great do u know how many people would luv to have that and u have yours. And this feeling of not wanting to be wit her must really be bothering u. So i say that u should take a chance wit the relationship a few more months and see how u feel

Answer 10

You have decided to hit the brakes but just stop look left and right whether the direction u re heading does not involve resentment and hatred.There might be another time someone hits it on you.What goes around will also come around!