What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What's the biggest crime committed by transvestites?
Male fraud
2007-03-22 23:00:55 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I love these, I can't wait to share them with my husband. I thought that these were so cute I printed them off to share with a few other people.
2007-03-22 23:10:24 · answer #1 · answered by gigi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Children's proverbs :
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.......
Better to be safe than...punch a 5th grader.
Never underestimate the power of...termites.
You can lead a horse to water but...how?
Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty.
No news is... impossible.
A miss is as good as a... Mr.
Love all, trust... me.
An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's... pollution.
A penny saved is... not much.
Don't put off till tomorrow what...you put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.
None are so blind as... Stevie Wonder.
Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.
You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.
When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.
2007-03-22 23:07:21 · answer #2 · answered by sweety 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
funny darling
2007-03-23 00:26:53 · answer #3 · answered by dream theatre 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
love the jokes where did you get them from
2007-03-22 23:07:52 · answer #4 · answered by firefox 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
à 40-ish..................................49.
à Adventurous......................Slept with everyone.
à Athletic................................No breasts.
à Average looking.................Moooo.
à Beautiful..............................Pathological liar.
à Emotionally Secure...........On medication.
à Feminist...............................Fat.
à Free Spirit............................Junkie.
à Friendship first.....................Former tramp
à New-Age..............................Body hair in the wrong places.
à Old-fashioned.....................No B.J.'s
à Open-minded......................Desperate.
à Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.
à Professional........................Witch.
à Voluptuous........................Very fat.
à Large frame..........................Hugely fat.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
à Yes.....................................No
à No......................................Yes
à Maybe.................................No
à We need...............................I want
à We need to talk......................You're in trouble
à Sure, go ahead........................You better not
à Do what you want...................You will pay for this later
à I am not upset........................Of course, I am upset, you moron!
à You're attentive tonight............Is sex all you ever think about?
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
à I am hungry...........................I am hungry
à I am sleepy............................I am sleepy
à I am tired..............................I am tired
à Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!
à I love you..............................Let's have sex now
à I am bored.............................Do you want to have sex?
à May I have this dance?..................I'd like to have sex with you.
à Can I call you sometime?..............I'd like to have sex with you.
à Do you want to go to a movie?......I'd like to have sex with you.
à Can I take you out to dinner?........I'd like to have sex with you.
à I don't think those shoes go with that outfit..............I'm gay.
2007-03-22 23:04:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
very funny.
2007-03-22 23:51:56 · answer #6 · answered by Because I Said So 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny :-)
2007-03-22 23:07:01 · answer #7 · answered by stoutseun69 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well done brilliant jokes.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-22 23:32:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋