She kept me by her side for 3 years until the right one came along?

Question

The girl I love and went out with for 3 years, 2 months ago left me for another guy she hardly knew. She knew this guy for 2 weeks and then left me high and dry faster than I ever thought possible. I am still in shock and it hurts. How can someone just up and go so quick without even talking? I tried talking to her and asking her why are you doing this? She responded "We just have this connection". I visted her 2 weeks later, and then I saw his toothbrush where mine used to be 3 weeks Earier!!!! I mean come on. Where was I her in her life? She later said, I loved you more like a brother. Was she just using me as something until she found what she was looking for Mr Right? And is it possible?

Answer 1

The same thing happend to me. I had a boyfriend for 8 years, after the 5th year, I started to observe his lack of ambition on life than I realised I didn't want to start a family with someone that seems to be stoped on the time. I don't mean, he should be rich and famous but to have some ambition, at least get educated or get more culture. At the beggining ,I thought that time would make me change my mind, that all what I was feeling was more a bad fase and everything would go back how it used to be. We got engaged but I didin't want to mark a wedding date. I thought on talking to him about this problem and I decided to give him another year to see if he would "wake up", but nothing. On the last year of hour relationship, I came to NYC with my mother, aunts and a another friend which her boyfriend was cheating on her and she needed to get herself a fresh start. During this 2 weeks in NYC, I met a guy which I felt in love right away. At the begginig , I didn't know it was love but after had spent almost one year without seeing him only comunicating with each other over phone and letters, I decided to let it. Now, it comes the intersting part. When I came to NYC again to visit, like I did before, I met him again. I had gone to that club where we met for the first time with my fiance and friends but him was never there. Right in the night my fiance traveled back to home, I went with my friend to that club again and he was right there! We hooked up right the way. I was so happy !
I left my country because of this guy, my career, my family, my fiance, just to be with him. It was very hard, we dated for 3 years, until I find out he had lied to me during all those years. He lie about who he was, about his honesty, about everything ! He knew everything about me and my life, while I didn't know him at all. Just for you have an idea, I found out he was a gigolo that has an old women supporting his expenses, even the gym, the gym that we ejoyed together, were paid by her. I think I have never suffered so much in my life. I suffered to have left my country, had to start everything over in a new country with strange people, language and culture, missing my family and friends, without mention the work's opportunities I used to have there. No one lost as much as I did for a lie. I lost my life. He (the gigolo) was the only person I used to know and feel safe in this new country I have made my home. If you have lived in another country, you would undertsand what I mean.
My point is, doesn't worth to fight for the love of a person who doesn't love us back, because sooner or later everytning its gone. Stay with someone who loves and respect you, doesn't matter how good your are if your partner can't see that, the love will never be there. The most important is that the person who you are can see and appreaciate your goodness. My fiance, was perfect and a great men for most girls and womens I knew, but I wasn't seeing him like that anymore. I knew I would not marry a men that I didn't love anymore and our broke up would had happen with or without this guy (the gigolo). My female friends at that time I broke up with him (fiance) and had moved to here, they all tried to be with him, my fiance, all of them. I got so disappointed to see how people really are. They weren't answering my calls anymore, ignoring me, acting toltally starnge, until him, my ex fiance tells me what they have done. Sending presents, flowers and chocolats to his home. Even calling him ! I am lucky that he was honest to tell me and let me know who really were those girls I used to call friend. He is a great men. I know that he was the love of my life and this guy, the gigolo, was nothing.
I never loved him, I loved the men he played to be, when I got to know who he really was, I got him out of my life right away, like he was nothing, because that was exactly what he was, nothing, nobody, just a cheap gigolo that lives on others women's money...I felt so disgusted of myself for have beeing with someone so low like him. About my ex finace ? He is still single, people say he is waiting for me, but I am sure I will not be with him, even thou I haven't been with no one in particular since my broke up, that happened about 3 years ago.
The advice I give you, is to move on. Don't get in touch with her anymore, I know it's hard but there is no other option. If you don't mind of MAYBE, become a 2nd best, you could take the risk of being around but this is something I do not recommend you to do. Even if she marry you, her mind will never be with you and I think you should give yourself a chance of having a girl that sees you and admires you exactly the way you should be respected, loved and admiered by a women. Give yourself a second chance, move on.
Don't be with a women because she doesn't want to be alone, be with a women that only wants to be with you. Good luck !

Answer 2

It often happens to couple who dated for too long. Probably she during the 3 years relationship she had considered to break up with you many times but didn't have the heart to do so & neither she ever told you about her true feelings (either afraid of hurting you or unable to face the fact that she will be alone after breaking up). Perhaps when she met this new guy, she felt she is deeply attracted to him and made her brave enough to decide to break up.

You will forget about the pain after awhile. Go out with more friends, meet with more girls, do whatever make you feel happy. You will meet the right one along the way.

Answer 3

I have been single for 3 years, I don't need a man constantly by my side for satisfaction. Some women need that in their lives because they are missing something, they never live alone without a male around. Those are the kind that never really grow up and grow out of things to seek their own personal power for themselves. Women like that makes the rest of us look bad.

Sounds like she was just using you. I used to be in a 10 year relationship, with my ex and it ended abruptly because of circumstances beyond my control. He was not a nice person to be with and my child is way more important than him. Sounds like in your case it is possible...I would move on if I were you. There are many beautiful women out there for you, that will love you for you...which is more important than a clingy woman, that used you instead of love you with all her heart and soul.

Answer 4

Sorry to hear that man, but to tell you the truth, it could be your mistake it depends how was the relationship, if she was more bossy than you, than yea she was using you, i was used in my past relationship, my ex would always ask to go to dinners and stuff n i would always say ok, so just kind of think about your next girlfriend, set your goals first what you wanna do, you are a guy dont let her be the one, i know it hurts, i would die if my gf did that too, but sit down and talk to ur friends and parents about it makes you feel better, i did it too it helped. you will completly over her in few months just dont stay at home n think about her delete her from the phone and pictures put them up...good luck

wish you the best

Answer 5

I hate to say it but sounds like you were just there to keep her company until someone else came along. And the "I loved you like a brother" line is something females say when they really didn't feel anything for the person. I suggest you try to get over it as best as you can. Don't dwell over someone like her because she's not worth it. And most likely she'll end up leaving him the same way she left you.

Answer 6

Is it possible? Ahem, yes, she is not that into you anymore.

Face it, she found something new and interesting. And guess what, he is probably sexing her better than you.

However, the 3 years y'all had together was not a waste. You got great convo and great sex. But hey, she ain't faithful so why are you sweating her?

She showed you her true colors and they are ugly, so why are you giving her any more energy than she deserves?

It high time you find a better woman.

Answer 7

It's definitely possible. Chicks do it all the time. It's like an emotional addiction and they need their fix even if you're not 'the one' they gotta have something in the mean time.

Answer 8

BE HAPPY!!!! She is not worth your love. Lucky this happened now and not after marriage. She just jilted you.

Could be painful a little, but bear it like a man and move forward.. Don't communicate with her, avoid her and let her go!!!

Answer 9

Step up your game, If you had game she would not have dumped you like a used tempon. you sound like the boring soft type, women like adventurous fun guys. Truth hurts, sorry

Answer 10

Yep that sounds about right. **** happens, world's cruel, life's not fair. Oh just in case, don't take her back.

Answer 11

Yep, you answered your own question and you are correct. Give yourself 10 points.