My boyfriend has pulled away from me due to the stress at work. He has been looking for a new job, attending different interviews,he works full-time and goes to interviews during lunch time, he spends his evenings preparing for them. He has been very distant with me and he did explain to me that he will be like this for a while as he needs to sort himself out as he is really unhappy with his current job. His boss refused to promote him so he was really upset with that. He sent me a message yesterday after not hearing from him for a few days, I was happy. I replied to him but I really wanted to ask him when are we going to meet up. So I asked him if we can meet during Easter, he said that he is going home to see his family. I asked him to meet the weekend after, he said he is going again to see his family as his dad has birhtday. So I asked him about the weekend after and he replied with I don't know, we will see... What should I do now? I haven't responded to that but I feel so sad.
2007-03-22 22:08:41 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
share his sadness, tell him you want to be a part of his life, and you will help him, tell him you really want to be a part of his life, and wherever he goes you goes, whether its heaven or hell...
surprise him one day with a romantic candle light dinner, in a restaurant where it make him feel relaxed, and might forget about the stress..
or try making dinner at home with candles...
If he is still being distant, then wait for about a month or two and then try again, if he is still being distant then you can assume he's got more important things in his life then you, and you have got to talk to him, whether what he wants...
good luck anyway... hope it helps..
2007-03-22 22:15:53 · answer #1 · answered by Vinz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you probably want to support him, but he has no right keeping you in suspense about where you stand with him. I don't see why anyone should have an excuse to see and spend time with the person they love. Your relationship should also be a priority to him as it is to you. He shouldn't push you away at this time. He is not being fair towards you. How can he claim to love you but yet he "will see" when he can spend time with you. You sound like a caring person. If he doesn't appreciate this then someone else will.
2007-03-23 06:06:31 · answer #2 · answered by Mercia L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will ask you for support when he needs it from you. Yes you need to give him some space and give him some time. Finding a new job is tough and he seems to be doing it for all of the right reasons. Don't push to see him. It sounds like you haven't been together for very long or you would be going with him to his family. Just relax and he'll either come around or he won't.
2007-03-23 05:16:58 · answer #3 · answered by Patrick E 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only thing you can do is give him the space he seems to need, but don't sit indoors getting upset, go out and meet up with friends, when he's come back from his family, you need to ask him where you stand, you can't be expected to hang around forever, a relationship involves communication, he's not doing much of that at the moment, i wish you well
2007-03-23 06:08:31 · answer #4 · answered by chakra girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be honest i would dump him... iknow it sounds awful, but he sounds completely wrapped up in himself, if its was a decent relationship he would include you in his day to day stresses and see you as a comfort, the fact he is distancing himself and cant see you for a month!!! and then thats not a definate, shows he is not very committed to you. its all very well giving them space etc but he needs to get a grip, its hardly the end of the world whats happening to him. whats he going to do if you have a big crisis if he cannot pull together in this time of "stress". get out with some self respect and dont be a doormat, waitng for him to deem to wipe his feet on when he wants, for anybody. you need your needs met too and he isnt capable of doing this,you deserve better than this.
2007-03-23 05:24:02 · answer #5 · answered by slsvenus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him some room to sort things out as he seems to want some "space" to breathe, so to say! You could sms him your support by telling him that you understand that he need time to sort things out and that you if ever he needs someone to talk to, you are here!"
Cheer up! we guys get moody and like this when we have "unresolved issues" in our minds and we avoid the ones we love because we don't want to in the heat of our troubles, say things (unintentionally and maynot even be rational) that would hurt the ones we love.
Give him some time and he will be back to normal!
2007-03-23 05:25:36 · answer #6 · answered by Seng Kim T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a possible meeting 4 weeks down the line is not good enough. from what you have said I think he is giving you the brush off.
stop wasting your time on him honey, get out there and find someone who wants to be with YOU and not pre-occupied 24/7 with HIMSELF.
2007-03-23 05:20:13 · answer #7 · answered by Denise W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be concerned as to why he doesn't want to spend time with me, If I was in ur position?
Why not talk to him and ask if he wants the relationship to carry on? Cos it seems like he's avoiding u..
2007-03-23 06:05:20 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to be supportive...ask him to meet to help him with his interview preparation or search for job - adds and tell him about them or ask him if he needs any help and mean it.however, if you don't see changes in a month or so leave him:he probably doesn't think you're important in his life+he's looking for excuses.
2007-03-23 05:17:20 · answer #9 · answered by ele 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him the comfort he needs when he need it, hes stressing out, most likely about you too, so try stying clear if you can, hes prolly doing it for your guys future anyway
2007-03-23 05:12:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋