I dated a guy for about 1 year plus and the relationship ended abt a mth ago. This guy can be quite angry, insensitive, self-centered, bad-tempered and insults me from time to time. Of course, we had some good moments together...
I don't blame him at all for his behavior. He comes from a broken family and that might have caused him to become this way today.
Will he ever grow up and change one day? Will he realise his mistakes and learn from them? What do you people think?
2007-03-22 21:36:09 · 17 answers · asked by Grace 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When I was still with him, I felt that he was opening up to me and he became more cheerful. I even brought his family closer together. I even went out with his family members for movie, dinners etc.
But one day, he started to close himself again. I'm not sure why...
2007-03-23 04:36:19 · update #1
Your concern for him has already sown the seeds of change. The process of his change has already begun. All you have to do is a follow-through by applying your thought process into action.
The forces of negativity, depression, hopelessness have worked on his mind for years and shaped him the way you are describing him today. Environment around him has made a profound effect on his mind and perception.
It is easy to believe negativity, hopelessness,lack of trust and faith that everybody above is suggesting but I look it the other way.
When someone is through changing, he is through. If you desire a change, you must be that change before that change can take place. So be positive about the outcome and result of your efforts. He himself personally like each one of us knows that he needs to change and improve, all you have to do is to provide air to that burning desire(fire needs air).
You are indeed a wonderful person for being his support, and he is fortunate one to have a concerned person like you caring for him. You made me feel good that there are still people who care for others. Good Luck.
2007-03-22 22:02:41 · answer #1 · answered by Goldman 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
omg!! i have a brother just like that!!!
i say he is an idiot and will never ever change!!! he might trick you into saying things will be different if you were to tell him the way you feel...but the truth is he won't. and hoestly your life won't be any better if things keep going this way. just let him go. there are many guys ot there!! and i'm sure o will find one with good values.
you don't have to tolerate none of this! even if you were to have a son of him. (going back to my brother's situation)
the tuth is old people SELDOMLY change. And it doesn't amtter if he came from a broken family, that has nothing to do with the way he is. my brother as i was telling you comes from a broken family too. But my sister she is a really wonderful person! and i admire her dearly, good values, great personality. adn i'm not too much behind her in this. but then again there is my brother with all his stupid actions, a lot of people gave him a lot of chances, but he has failed them all.
Peace.
2007-03-23 04:52:32 · answer #2 · answered by iwannaknow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard to say. Every individual has different walks in life. Some people just never grow up no matter how old they are. It depends on what sort of pathways he will experience in the future. For example: if he happens to become religious, he may change if the religion is influencial enough. Or if somehow upon his life he gets advices from people that he trusts he may change. Or if one day he really loves a woman but she leaves him, it may be a *wake up call* for him and he may change. I was with my ex for 4 years, waiting for him to change but it never happenened. I felt like a stupid hero who is trying to save others but ending up hurting myself. So you r lucky you have moved on!
2007-03-23 04:53:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the person. I don't think anything but time can give you your answer. What you should ask youself is are you willing to spend the time to see if he changes and also if he dosn't change are you still willing to be with him regardless. Either way you need to tell him what your feeling are and if your answer to question #2 is no then make sure he knows that.
2007-03-23 05:05:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything is possible, but one thing is for sure: you can't do anything to speed up the process. And you trying to change him might make him even more stubborn. Better to start with someone who's got decent character first. Have a nice day!
2007-03-23 04:43:42 · answer #5 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps someday, but he'll have to do a lot of living first. A personality like that doesn't change unless the person wants to, or something big happens to them to change them anyway.
For what it's worth, though, you shouldn't take that on yourself. There are other guys, and a lot of them don't act that way. Honestly, they can make you a lot happier.
2007-03-23 04:40:31 · answer #6 · answered by Ciaoenrico 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a male, I feel it is my duty to inform all of you women, that many times they (woman) start a relationship thinking "I'll change him". You have a better chance at emptying the ocean before the tide comes in with a teaspoon !
2007-03-23 04:43:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to say. Chances are he wont change. He either wont realize or is too stubborn to change. I on the other hand am one that changed. Of corse I've been told that I'm one in a million. That is why I say it is hard to say. Its possible but its not probable. My advice is to try to move on and try your hardest to put him behind you.
2007-03-23 04:46:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no if he was brought up that way either he wont change or over a really really long time he might change
2007-03-23 04:41:27 · answer #9 · answered by Candice J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a general rule, people don't change.
2007-03-23 04:40:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋