Child support & Visitation?

Question

My husband has a son from his ex and 2 stepdaughters and is ordered to pay child support for his son. It is taken out of his check and he has visitation every 2 weeks. I dont care about him paying child support. He should. He made a child and he has to take care of it. But his ex gets mad sometimes and wont let the kids come down. They all come. We've taken her to court before and once they gave us custody and we had to go to court again and she promised to let him come down so my husband agreed to let her have him back so he could be with his sisters but I just recently had a baby 4 weeks ago and we havent seen the kids in 6 weeks. She told them they cant come down anymore cause we had our perfect famly and we didnt love them anymore. we have taken her to court and the judge keeps warning her. what should I do?

His son is 12 and they only live 30 min away. My hubby always goes and picks them up.

Answer 1

Well first, you have a beautiful baby if it is the pic you are using next to your name! The courts can be so crazy sometimes, and I completely understand your frustrations. My advice would be to document everything ,every phone call to talk to the son or mother (if legal in your state) record it, every attempt to see him, anything that pertains to him, document it. Start, yet another, court battle taking all your documentation to show the judge. I would also suggest that your husband show up on his designated visitation times to pick him up. Have him go to the door (might help to have a neutral party witness it), and explain that he is here to pick up his son (including sisters if she chooses, but it doesnt sound like he has legal visitation so he prolly cant push that one). Again, document whatever happens, and if legal have him put a tape recorder in his pocket and record what goes on. Make sure he stays calm, does not verbally abuse her, or anything else that could be used against him. He should probably try to get full custody again. I don't know how old the son is, but no matter what age (unless really small), you could have your attorney put him on the stand to testify to wanting to see his dad. That option is probably a last straw that I would try just because it will be hard on him, but it is an option. Try to let him (the son) know that he is a part of that perfect family that you have going on, and that the perfect family is not complete without the big brother for the new baby. I know what you are going through is tough, but keep fighting for him, he needs the both of you more than you know considering the instability of the bio-mom.

Answer 2

Whether or not he is paying child support has absolutely no bearing on whether or not he can have visitation with his son. The 2 have nothing to do with each other, other than the fact they are both a part of the final decree of divorce. First of all, you need to take her back to court for violation of the decree. If you took her once before there is usually a contempt hearing and she would have been found in contempt. With that there were probably guidelines or rules set up in the contempt order that she has to follow. She is not following them and is, again, in contempt.

My biggest concern is that she is filling the boy's head with such lies about his father. My mother did that to me as I was growing up and I never knew any better. I hated my father until I was old enough to ask him the truth. You can have the original decree amended to state that neither parent is allowed to bad mouth the other parent while the children are present. I know it sounds like a lot for such a minor thing but, honestly, this can completely destroy your husbands relationship with his son if you don't do something to put a stop to it.

My advice would be to take her to court for not allowing visitation (contempt) and make a motion to amend the decree at the same time. Get it all done at once. If she continues to behave his way you have all options available to take her back to court and file contempt on her for EACH violation. Yes, it CAN get expensive but you can also file all on your own and represent yourselves and only pay the filing fees. Each time you have her back in court the punishment will be more harsh, including possible jail time.

Answer 3

The only thing to do is document every denied visitation and head back to court. Your husband has the right to call the police, but that could be tough on the kids. If he opts for that, I would tell him to do it as a way to build evidence of her refusals, not to have the police physically remove the kids to enforce the visitation agreement. Once in court, your lawyer needs to establish that this is a repeating pattern and ask for a change in custody or, if your husband is reluctant to go that far, that some form of punishment be in place for every time she refuses visitation (a fine paid to the court) without a vaild, documented reason (note from the Dr. basically). I wish you luck,,,this is a tough cycle to break and it takes a tough lawyer and strong judge to do it.

Answer 4

How old is the son?

Your family should move to the town where the ex is. That will make visitation easier.

If she is that envious of you and her former husband that she would withhold the son's visiting, then she will turn the son against your husband by telling the son lies about his dad.

What kind of mother is she? Although she sounds destructive even if she is "a good mother".

Answer 5

take her to court again, keep a log of everytime you ask for the kids and she says no, or write down whatever excuse she gives you, if the courts say he has visitation rights, she cant legally just say no its not her decision. get a hold of your lawyer and let them know what is going on.
good luck and congrats on the baby.

Answer 6

take her back to court she needs to learn how to be a mother and put her kids first and not play games with them

he sounds like a stand up father and is there for all of his children the was a father should be

Answer 7

just keep take'n her back to court... and if nothing is done, write a letter to the judges boss (you will need to call and find out the phone number/fax number and name).

visitation isnt a little game you play, nor conditional.

personally, i would fight for custody and this time... keep it.

usually, the court doesnt take kindly to denying visitation.

CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATOR
http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/

ABANDONMENT (NO SHOW PARENTS)
http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/

NOT ALL PARENTS LOVE THEIR CHILDREN
And "RATIONAL LIES"
http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/child_custody/article7.asp

FREE LEGAL HELP IN YOUR STATE
(just click on your state to find contact info)
http://www.lawhelp.org/

LAWS
http://www.divorcehq.com/spprtgroups.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/statebystate.htm
http://www.divorcenet.com/states
http://www.divorcesource.com/
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.divorcecentral.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/unpaid-support/support-orders-enforcement.html
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/
http://www.divorceinanutshell.com/
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-laws/state-child-/
http://www.supportguidelines.com/resources.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/links.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/laypersons.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/articles/news.html
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-basics/
http://www.spiesonline.net/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html

STATS
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/acesstatistics.html

FINDING DEADBEATS
(and background cks to find them)
http://www.usarecordssearch.com/
http://deadbeatsnitch.com/
http://www.wantedposters.com/skiptrace.htm
http://find.intelius.com/search-name.php?ReportType=1&
http://omnitrace.com/Missing-Persons-Search.html?OVRAW=deadbeat&OVKEY=deadbeat&OVMTC=standard
http://www.discreetdata.com/index.html
http://www.identitycrawler.net/people_search.html
http://www.peoplefinders.com
http://zabasearch.com/
http://www.crimcheck.com/personalreports.htm
http://www.easybackgroundchecks.com/
http://www.abika.com/
http://www.freeprf.com/
http://www.efindoutthetruth.com/
http://www.netsleuth.com/
http://netonlineinvestigators.com/index.asp
http://www.backgroundcheckgateway.com/
http://www.backgroundcheckgateway.com/locate-people.html


FED AGENCIES
http://www.ncsea.org/
http://www.nfja.org/index.shtml
http://www.naag.org/issues/issue-consumer.php

REGIONAL FEDERAL CHILD SUPPORT OFFICES
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/oro/regions/acf_regions.html

FACTS AND REGIONAL FEDERAL CS OFFICE INFO
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/fct/fct4.htm
http://www.divorcesource.com/WI/ARTICLES/beaulier11.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/opa/fact_sheets/cse_factsheet.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/index.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/faq.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/passport.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/fop.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/faq/faq.htm
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/grants/grants_cse.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/index.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region2/index.html
http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.govbenefits.gov/govbenefits_en.portal
http://www.fedstats.gov/qf/
http://www.fedworld.gov/gov-links.html
http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/pfs92/ch3.htm

SSI AND CHILD SUPPORT
http://www.ssa.gov/policy/docs/policybriefs/pb2004-02.html
http://www.ssa.gov/notices/supplemental-security-income/
http://family.findlaw.com/

FIND YOUR REPS
http://www.usa.gov/
http://www.usa.gov/Agencies/State_and_Territories.shtml
http://www.nga.org
http://www.naag.org/attorneys_general.php
http://judiciary.senate.gov/

CHILD SUPPORT LIEN NETWORK
(some states work with them)
http://www.childsupportliens.com/

COLLECTORS
http://www.supportkids.com/
http://www.supportcollectors.com/faq.php
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/links.html
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml

TAX INFO
http://www.taxsites.com/index.htm
http://www.divorceinfo.com/taxes.htm
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc354.html
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc422.html
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq4-5.html
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/advocate/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p525/index.html

http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p504/ar02.html#d0e563
http://money.cnn.com/2007/02/14/pf/taxes/do_not_miss_tax_breaks/index.htm?postversion=2007021411

REPORT DEADBEATS
WORKING UNDER THE TABLE
(in writing, to your local and federal IRS offices)
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/compliance/enforcement/article/0,,id=106778,00.html

SEX OFFENDERS
http://www.mapsexoffenders.com/
http://www.scanusa.com/
http://www.nsopr.gov/
http://www.familywatchdog.us/Default.asp

Answer 8

(judge keeps warning her) thats it? then i guess my answer would be: find another judge. but all in all i think it should be up to the child. what does the child want?

Answer 9

tell the courts that