I have this problem that i won't talk to a guy once he starts to show me some attention. Some abusive things in the past have made me think low of myself. Its weird cuz why can't i just be friends with a guy? I kinda get all weird when a guy makes me a compliment because i can't help but think its not true! Or I'll be walking in the mall and some guy will start yelling after me or whistle or something. and i know they'r checking me out .. but it just gets me on guard and i just wanna them to go away.
lately a lot of guys have been giving me attention or trying to call me or something. I think they all think i'm one of those "hard to get" girls...but i'm not. I actually would go on a date if one of em asked me. Its just that i can't help but act like i'm not interested, even if i am. i don't think God gave me the ability to flirt!!! I know you'll all say..."just talk to them" Well i cant!!!!!!!! I'm okay around my girl friends.by the way i'm 17
2007-03-22 21:21:04 · 8 answers · asked by Alie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My two cents:
You need to be sure you are able to move on with your life, while trying to heal from past abusive issues.
You really just may not be comfortable in your own skin yet. Having someone put you down etc. in an abusive relationship does take lots of time to get over.
Just remember that you are human, and are given the gift of being loved and loving back.
It's ok to be shut off to a point, just take baby steps. Don't EVER feel that you HAVE to "just talk to them", it's ALL your own decision. You'll get there when you are good and ready.
Take care.
2007-03-22 21:31:03 · answer #1 · answered by AC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually think it's good you're not responding to guys whose idea of chatting you up is yelling in the mall. What a bunch of idiots! Hold out for a higher quality of guy.
You may want to read "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. You should be able to get it at the library. It talks about why people who have bad pasts try to sabotage good things from happening to them.
Good luck hun!
2007-03-22 21:25:55 · answer #2 · answered by Marion K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there are abusive incidents in your past and they are affecting you negatively ( and they are) then therapy would be by far your best bet on getting over your fears. Nothing we say is going to change you, I'm afraid. You deserve to feel carefree and you don't. I hope you'll take this advise. Good luck.
2007-03-22 21:30:07 · answer #3 · answered by Im Listening 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at the moment you are getting attention when you don't feel comfortable.
let's say you had a hobby or a sport.
you can mingle with other people, then if you lose interest in the conversation it won't matter because you just get on with what you are doing.
badminton? skating?
some of them will just be friendly, and you can get some exercise too.
2007-03-22 21:32:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont need to talk to flirt. A smile, batting of eyes, acting shy, showing a little leg, whistle back, twirl your hair, etc.
have fun growin up.
2007-03-22 21:26:46 · answer #5 · answered by baldy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh sweetie i have the same problem, all i would do is just try to act more kind, like smile more, giggle whatever... but try to show that you are an easy going person... i have tried this before and it was giving me results, but then i stopped i don't know why... aaaaaaaah need to try that again..
luck!
2007-03-22 21:27:48 · answer #6 · answered by iwannaknow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them the situation.. they'll understand, say something like, "im not playing hard to get, im just shy around guys." they'll probably think its cute
2007-03-22 21:25:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
two ways......... one is that if a guy throws attention just dont talk to him..... just tell him that he has to take u on date... and then play wid him........ and the other one is try to take councelling with a psy......
2007-03-22 21:44:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋