Here's a couple more jokes...(the others will be in additional details, come back and read them if you want)

Question

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor’s office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow. ”The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: “Well, doc, it’s like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.” The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?” The old man replied, “Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn’t get the jar open.”

Little Johnny was just being potty trained and his mom tried this new method with 6 steps:
1. Unbutton pants
2. Pull pants down
3. Pull foreskin back
4. Pee
5. Push foreskin forward
6. Pull pants up and button up
She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny going "1,2,3,4,5,6" and she was thinking she did good.
Then she walked past the next day and heard him saying real fast "3-5, 3-5, 3-5..."
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A man is opening a restaurant and he asks one of his workers to come up with a name for it.

The man tells Al, one of his workers, that he will name the restaurant after the first thing Al sees when he goes out the door.

Al walks outside and the first thing he saw was a girl named Lucy and he saw her legs. He told the man, and so the restaurant was named Lucy’s Legs. The man was so impressed that he said the next day Al could get a free drink.

The next day Al comes a bit early and a policeman walks by and notices...(more

Al waiting there. The policeman asks, “What are you doing?”

Al says, “I’m waiting for Lucy’s legs to open so I can get a drink.”
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A man had a hobby of hitting lawyers with his car every time one happened to cross his path.
The man sees a priest hitchhiking on the side of the road, so he picks him up and says: "where to father" the priest replies, "the church". On the way, the man sees a lawyer and swerves to hit him, he then remembers he has a priest in the car and tries to miss the lawyer but he still hears a thud.
The man says to the priest: "I'm sorry father, I almost hit that lawyer" the priest says "It's ok, I got him with the door"
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Why is a woman like KFC?

......Because after that succulent breast and tender thighs all your left with is a greasy box to put your bone in!

Answer 1

10/10 cheers mate needed a good laugh

Answer 2

I love the priest one!!! LOL

Answer 3

ROFL - specially the last one

Answer 4

Good ones, mate!!!!!!

Ta for the laughs!!

Answer 5

lol!!!

Answer 6

*LOL*