im 19 & shes alwayz torturing me swearing at me & blames evry wrong thing on me,,,,im lyk crying 24/7 i dont know what 2 do........for some reason i cant even leave the house i have 2 stay there cause of rest of my family, i even told my dad about this he says just ignore her....i cant ignore it she alwayz says nasty stuff 2 me n therefore if i back chat her she gets worser.
plz help me !!!
2007-03-22 20:40:29 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'll tell you what I did, I moved out at 20 with my boyfriend at the time (now husband), do you have a friend you could move out with?
Trust me, your relationship with your Mum will improve so much when you're not there with her all the time, and it'll teach you some Life skills.
If you are unhappy, plan possible happiness and work towards it. Nothing happens easily and straight away but work on it.
2007-03-23 00:53:44 · answer #1 · answered by caseytopia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time calmly tell her she has no right to speak to you in this way. Do not enter an arument as this seems to be what she seeks in a perverse way. Calmy say and then qualify this with I am going now and will only speak when you can stop abusing me.
Do this. Or make it that you will go and come back on Saturday or whatever...as in a couple of days and stay over with a friend. Be consistent and firm with her she will get the message but do avoid the temptation strong tho it may be to enter a slanging match. She is using abusive behaviour to try and control you so you have to stip her of this power and re condition her behaviour. Good luck
2007-03-22 21:43:11 · answer #2 · answered by eagledreams 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 19. You are legally an adult and have rights. If you can't afford to move out of their house, if there a friend you can live with or a relative that can help you?
If she lays a hand on you, call the police! Do you have any siblings? Is she like this with them also? And is she like this with your father? Does she drink? I know you can't answer me right now but I'm trying to find out the main problem with her. Is it that you are a troubling daughter or is she a drunk or a overcontrol women with other issues? Can you get counseling at school or a local clinic? Can you talk to any of your friends' parents? I'm just trying to throw suggests out to you. There's always resources for help available.
But remember, you are now an adult. If you can afford rent or partial rent, get a place on your own or with 1 or 2 friends. Maybe the only thing that will help is to get the heck away from her. Good luck!
2007-03-22 20:49:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is time you made a decision. You should talk to your dad and tell him that the situation is intolerable and you cannot put up with it any more. You didn't say what you were doing, if you were going to school or working or what. If you are working you might consider moving out and getting an apartment with a friend. The other choice would be to perhaps move in with an aunt or uncle. If these two options are unavailable you need to convince your dad to step up to the plate and tell your mother to get off your back.
2007-03-22 20:49:56 · answer #4 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack up some stuff in a suitcase and move with your friends for awhile. Get a storage space and move your stuff in there. If you have a job, save some money and share some rent with people you know, or do it on your own.
There are places that have houses that rent a room. If you know anybody that has a room for rent, go for it.
Be sure you have a good stable job while your at it and also a form of transporation to transport your stuff. Renting a U-Haul truck is the bit too obvious.
2007-03-22 20:47:08 · answer #5 · answered by Agent319.007 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know...are you a chronic victim who never owns their own behavior or are you in a bad situaltion?
If you aren't paying attention to your own behavior then stay there because nobody enjoys raising someone else's child who should already know how to behave like an adult. Stay there until you learn to grow up and learn that there was a reason that children listen to their parents so they grow into stable adults. Have you pushed your parents to the limit? Will you choose to live the rest of your life in the past pushing others to their limits?
Or
If you are being attacked or scapegoated, which means you have zero to do with parents frustration, then you have the free will and the legal right to make changes in your life at your age.
Only you know the truth.
2007-03-23 01:19:50 · answer #6 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with pichi regarding age??? Are you really 19?. If so then it is time to move on if things are really this bad at home. Have you asked your mum why she is treating you like this, or explained to her that her constant negativity and picking is making you feel intimidated and alone. As some one else said try writing all the nasty things she says to you down, and then show it to her... or try taping her in action and replaying it to her. Tell her that she is upsetting you. Mayb if ou talk things through with her but also listen to what is upsetting your mum aswell, it may well help to solve the problem. Good luck. x
2007-03-23 00:26:55 · answer #7 · answered by tinker33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, i think i know what your going thru. My advice to you is ask your mum to sit down like a pair of adults and tell her how u feel, this would be better because in arguments you probably say things that you both regret, but if your mum doesn't agree to this and it is making your life a living hell then maybe you could consider moving out. You are old enough to make your own decisions now. Hope all goes well mate x
2007-03-22 22:25:37 · answer #8 · answered by charlie88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out. I had the same thing with my mum, but I moved out at 17. Your mum obviously has a mental health problem, but that is not your fault. YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME. Just tell her that the guilt trips don't work anymore, let her know why you don't want to live there anymore. Me and my mum get on really great now (I'm 23). She was a real shite mother, but she a fantastic grandmother. She needs to deal with this herself, before you can begin to have a relationship.
2007-03-22 20:49:05 · answer #9 · answered by siany warny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I can help, but that's just one side of the story. There's always two sides to a coin. How do I know you're not magnifying the situation...young girls do tend to over-exagerrate their dilemna. And always making their parents out to be the bad guy.
I am a parent myself, I believe you to some extent, because we're not all perfect and I doubt if she is on you 24/7 for no reason at all.
You're an adult, time to move on and take on your own responsibliities. Maybe that's what she's trying to tell you, "When you going out to get damn job!!!" if you don't want her down your throat, get a job and/or move out...that simple
2007-03-22 20:44:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋