Here's a couple more jokes I like...?

Question

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says: “Your butt is getting really big…….I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the Barbecue grill.”

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife’s bottom.

“Yes, I was right………your butt is two inches wider than our barbecue grill!”

The woman chose to ignore her husband. Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

She answers: “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big grill for one lousy little sausage?”
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During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asks the students, one by one, “Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would...(more)

you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?” she asked.

“Just a minute, I have to go p!ss.”

The teacher replied, “That would be rude and impolite! What about you Sam, how would you say it?”

“I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.”

The teacher responded, “That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the table. And you Johnny, are you able to use your intelligence for once and show your good manners?”

“I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment, I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine whom I hope you’ll get to meet after dinner.”
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There were three men drinking in a bar, a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, “For Valentine’s Day I’m going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way if she doesn’t like the fur coat she will still love... (more)

me because she got a diamond ring.”
As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, “For Valentine’s Day I’m going to buy my wife a designer dress and a gold bracelet. This way if she doesn’t like the dress she will still love me because she got the gold bracelet.”
As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, “For Valentine’s Day I’m going to buy my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. This way if she doesn’t like the t-shirt she can go f&ck herself!”

Answer 1

Very funny

Answer 2

Funny, I wish I could remember half the jokes Im told. I do remember this one though,

Some boys were starting to learn about anatomy in school and the teacher mentions a penis. All the boys are wondering what a penis is, so they all try to go home that night to find out what it is.

One boy goes home and asks his father what a penis is. The father, very proud, takes the boy into the bathroom and drops his pants. He says "Son, this is a penis, and I might add, it's a perfect penis"

The son, satisfied with the answer, goes to school the next day and all the boys are still wondering what it is. The one boy takes the rest of them into the bathroom, where he drops his pants and says "Guys, this is a penis, and if it were a couple of inches shorter, it'd be a perfect penis"

Answer 3

Very funny,he has no option but to enhance his man-hood to use big grill to its full capacity.

Answer 4

Oh my goodness did my mother laugh when I told her this one. She was feeling very depressed and boy did this take her mind off her problems for a bit. Thanks. Very very funny

Answer 5

I liked all three, the last one was the funniest. Did you save the best for last?

Answer 6

Good

Answer 7

i like the 2nd and 3rd one but not so much the 1st one, it wasnt as funny

Answer 8

I like the second one. Thank you for sharing your jokes with us.

Answer 9

Funny. Now how about re-submitting the second joke?

Uh, what's the question?

Answer 10

I love it those jokes are so funny