It's really aggrivating because he'll say mean things because he'll call me "b*t*h" or he'll make me feel like he doesn't deserve me. Just stuff like that. I don't like it at all. And when I tell him he's being mean, he just says, "Paige, I don't deserve you. I'm so mean." I love him a lot but I want him to stop saying those things. I know he loves me too because he always apologizes later for the things he said.
2007-03-22 20:04:26 · 15 answers · asked by Bristol 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sorry, I didn't really ask a question. Here's my question:
How can I get him to realize that he's making me feel bad, and how can I get him to stop?
2007-03-22 20:09:49 · update #1
first I love your name Paige is so cute. Second. i really think is a good guy and try to put up with him as there are so few out there. Sounds like he is just a tease. Try showing him he is not getting your attention by saying anything mean but when he says somthing really nice show him all kinds of attention
2007-03-22 20:08:39 · answer #1 · answered by Shelly t 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's verbally abusing you, and abusers will typically go as far as they feel they can and then turn around and apologize. That is how they're able to keep you from leaving, by keeping you off-balance emotionally and thinking that they really love you and that they'll change if you behave differently (real love doesn't involve verbal abuse, by the way).
You could ask yourself why you are still putting up with this treatment, and what makes you think that apologizing equals love instead of manipulation. The "I don't deserve you" line is another manipulation to get your sympathy and cause you to stay and put up with his horrible and unacceptable behavior.
2007-03-22 20:09:10 · answer #2 · answered by charmedchiclet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apologizing later is absolutely no proof of his love for you. What he's doing is very immature. He is 'testing' you; this is indicative of his exposure to unhealthy relationships. His parents, close family, or a previous relationship of his gone bad would make him provoke a negative response in you, only to test your reaction to it. He needs to experience the part where you don't in fact leave him, he needs to know that he can be imperfect (cause you this annoyance) and that you will still stay with him. He will continue to do this because behaviorally it's satisfying to him. It's like knowing that if you call the police, they will come, every time without ever questioning it. With you, he seeks to know that you'll stay with him, every time; and to do this he causes a 'bad action' and watches you stay. He is seeking constant 'reinforcement' of the concept that you will never leave him. Tell him you don't appreciate this and that this game of his will be the reason you would leave. If he continues, leave him to mature without your help. Good luck.
2007-03-22 20:21:59 · answer #3 · answered by annoyed_with_the_other_answers 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't love you. Love means (among other things) respecting and treating your partner well. Sure, sometimes we get angry, and we are mean to our partners. But he's doing it on purpose to anger you. And just because you love him doesn't mean he loves you. If he hit you, but apologized later, would you still think he loved you? He's hitting you, just with words rather than fists. If he does, really, love you, then he needs to learn to treat you with respect. He should want to, because he cares about your feelings. But if he doesn't want to try to improve, then he is worthless.
2007-03-22 20:10:21 · answer #4 · answered by Qwyrx 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him in the balls next time your mad, that should wipe the smile off. Sounds like you`ve got one of them baggy pants, hip hop boys. What a catch!
2007-03-22 20:09:38 · answer #5 · answered by fisherking 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I never let my boyfriend know that I am mad, we have been dating for ten years, and I don't think anything has really ever made me mad about him. I love him so much. I wouldn't want to do anything to lose him.
2007-03-22 20:07:52 · answer #6 · answered by Gail Michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I like to feel that people are being consistent with me. it their words and actions dont match up, or they just are hot and cold and hot and cold so often, its frustrating. but he shouldnt evr resort to name calling! he shouldnt try to get u mad on purpose! If hes being mean on purpose, thats messed up. Someone who loves u will treat u nice, not mean.
2007-03-22 20:09:24 · answer #7 · answered by Noodles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is best to ignore his comments rather than be angry. Once or twice if you disregard his remarks, he will stop saying such things. Just because you get angry, he continues saying such things to harass you.
2007-03-22 20:08:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The lucky bastard doesn't deserve you, but at least he knows it, and is smart enough to tell you he doesn't deserve you.
2007-03-22 20:08:31 · answer #9 · answered by blogbaba 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dam he sure takes that Ne Yo song "When Your Mad" a lil too literally xD
2007-03-22 20:18:14 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. RNC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋