hey im almost 21 and ive never had a boyfren. ive never wanted one because i couldnt find a God fearing guy who is great. im not askin for a drop dead gorgeous guy or anything but i jus want a good christian guy and it seems so rare nowadays tho.. whats up with that
2007-03-22 20:01:29 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
thanx rua doc. ur cool :)
2007-03-22 20:15:43 · update #1
As a 25 year old guy who has never had a gf, I can tell you this much: that the problem is our own immaturity.
We have a list of expectations... he's got to be smart, well spoken, humble, goal oriented, devoted, not jaded, approachable, love his family, accept my family, be willing to help out with chores, etc.
In assuming ourselves to be so mature that we're fit for such a relationship, we're doing the immature thing by expecting a fantasy. (He doesn't have to be drop dead gorgeous...because that would pop the fantasy bubble. He's still got to be at least somewhat attractive to you - someone you can love. The problem is that as so-called 'mature' thinkers, our love is far from unconditional)
The thing is, there's really no use for a perfect match. The idea behind relationships is that you grow toward God, together. By requiring a mature thinking christian criteria be met, you're saying that he's got to already be equipped to bear the burdens of your flaws...in which case the relationship really has nothing to offer him in terms of growth.
This isn't to say that you need to pick a badboy abusive jerk...because then you would have nothing to gain by bearing the burden of his limitations and getting nothing in return.
What's best is to surrender it to God.
Rather than saying 'God, please find me a boy that is close to my criteria' say 'God, bring me a man which will best help me to grow closest to you - no exceptions'.
That way he might be smart or dumb, mature or wild...but whatever he is, it'll be what's best for you.
-Rob
2007-03-22 20:17:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not seek out spiritually minded men rather than just christian?? As the great Mahatma Gandhi said - I love the Christ but i deplore the Christians. Try looking for advanced souls and looking beyong the limits of "religion." A man who accepts Christ is a good man, but a religious man is not necessarly intersting. Perhaps you are not ready for the right one yet. Be patient - God will provide. Just use this time to beocme a stronger and wiser woman so when the right man comes, you will be ready. Peace.
2007-03-22 20:09:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUA Doc, and Rob S have the right notions entirely IMO.
Even though at one point my whole impulse for striving to perfect myself before God was because of a compelling love I felt for someone unknown to me at the time, I was not able to perfect myself, but allowing yourself to be guided into the best love to help you become that, more and more, is certainly possible, as it is my experience to marry the unbelievably wonderful person I did not yet know.
In truth though all human merits will never match the unspeakably wonderful life of living for God, but that is possible to do with another. Beware not to be partial or distracted with the material benefits, because all are loved by God equally. Be help mates to each other, not dependents, for God is the reliable one; to depend on humans leads to conflicts which are best avoided by seeking God's help instead. Make no demands, and make no burdens, and God will suffice, and guide into proper marriage if you are wise enough to discern.
If you are the strong one, then people will lean on you, even your mate, and if you are weak, then you will need to rely on others, and only God entirely suffices all needs.
God bless.
2007-03-23 20:58:15 · answer #3 · answered by Gravitar or not... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe God doesn't want you to have a boyfriend. Why does everyone think that God wants them to do what everyone else is doing? As if the Christian walk was supposed to be equated with the American dream.
Serve God, if He wants you to have a husband, then He'll give you one. Be at peace with that. It's what I am doing, that doesn't make it right, but if you weigh what I say on the Spirit, I thikn that you will see the wisdom in what I'm saying.
Be at peace with God.
2007-03-22 20:15:48 · answer #4 · answered by Christian Sinner 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not the religion honey, its because mostly this is the age where most of the guys wanna enjoy and chill out. they cant think of taking life so serious . they cant think really matured so fast. It is believed that girls get matured more earlier than guys do. You will find one soon just wait for that right guy to come and approach you :) . GOOD LUCK
2007-03-22 20:12:04 · answer #5 · answered by h b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Matured thinking and christian is an oxymoron.
The more interesting question is why, at 21, have you never had a boyfriend? You've never wanted one? Then you are abnormal. All girls, unless they are lesbian, want a boyfriend. Fact of life.
Perhaps you should just get out more. I'm an atheist and am married to a born-again christian and it works well. Why would you retsrict yourself to wanting a religious moron instead of a good man. Doesn't seem logical to me.
2007-03-22 20:06:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Listen..seek God and give Him your heart and Jesus will pass your heart to one with a similar heart as His. First, repent and surrender in your mind and heart that God has all the answers and He has the perfect husband for only you. I just don't want you to be disappointed or hurt by a guy who is looking at your outside when God looks at the inside.
2007-03-22 20:10:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i look up to you for thinking that way. it is very hard to find a guy that is even a true christian now days but if you live by a good church you might find one there.
ill pray for you that you end up with the guy God wants you to be with. God bless, fethmoe@yahoo.com
2007-03-22 20:08:24 · answer #8 · answered by fethmoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, no discipline and a faultering church.
Of course, maybe you found some guys who have faith like a child :)
Mt 19:14 But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
2007-03-22 20:09:38 · answer #9 · answered by Shawn D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is there anyone in ur church that might be of interest??
as well if u go to any church gatherings involving other churches u might find somone there who might strick something in ur heart. as well maybe u cant find a mature christian guy because god is making sure u find the right one w/o any if's and's or but's. sometimes people take a lttle longer to find their spouses then others. its okay and good luck!!
2007-03-22 20:05:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋